Posted by Lamp 2010-12-10T04:06:28+01:00
Well Officer, in my defense, the sign in the laundromat did say,
"When the buzzer sounds, please remove your clothes."
I wish pizza grew on trees.
I'm not saying your opinion is stupid. I'm just saying you're stupid for having it.
This cheeseburger is making love to my mouth right now
I spend more time making my notes look nice and making study cards than I do actually studying.
Reminiscing isn't as fun as it used to be.
If you dont have time to do it right, when will you have time to do it over
the winner of the rat race is still a rat.
My dream job involves traveling to work on a zip-line.
Plotting ways for Pinky and the Brain to take over the world tonight.
When you get drunk in Australia do you get the spins counter-clockwise?
The news just issued a Freeze warning for tonight!!!! Ladies for ur information us big guys can and will be used as Snuggies tonight !!! Please make your appointments ASAP we are running out !!!
I found a dollar the other day. It made me so happy that I had to sit down and reevaluate my life.
Came into work early, forgot my keys, this is what Alanis was talking about.
Coping with yet another Facebook change
Cant believe mom's still mad that I started the Thanksgiving prayer with "dear lord baby jesus".
I'm better at remembering people who have bad breath than important historical facts.
Body scans and genital fondlings would save more lives if our Government was paying to have them done in hospitals rather than airports.
The lady in front of me in the Starbucks drive-thru paid for my coffee this morning. Pay it forward
I prefer texting over phone calls because it gives me more time to think about what to say.
Total Number of Statuses:847
Before Charlie Sheen winning meant something different. These statuses are the before Charlie Sheen winning, and simply mean this status is awesome and whoever posted it is amazing. Are you winning?
Facebook Addict Intervention Parody