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Posted by Lamp 2010-12-10T04:06:28+01:00
Well Officer, in my defense, the sign in the laundromat did say, "When the buzzer sounds, please remove your clothes."

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Comment by Anonymous

lmfao nice

Posted 2010-12-09T05:31:03+01:00
I wish pizza grew on trees.

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Posted 2010-12-09T05:08:59+01:00
I'm not saying your opinion is stupid. I'm just saying you're stupid for having it.

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Posted 2010-12-09T01:07:11+01:00
This cheeseburger is making love to my mouth right now

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Posted 2010-12-09T01:01:04+01:00
I spend more time making my notes look nice and making study cards than I do actually studying.

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Posted 2010-12-08T22:09:48+01:00
Reminiscing isn't as fun as it used to be.

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Posted 2010-12-08T03:55:17+01:00
If you dont have time to do it right, when will you have time to do it over

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Posted 2010-12-07T22:59:35+01:00
the winner of the rat race is still a rat.

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Posted 2010-12-07T22:52:14+01:00
My dream job involves traveling to work on a zip-line.

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Posted 2010-12-07T20:56:13+01:00
Plotting ways for Pinky and the Brain to take over the world tonight.

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Posted 2010-12-07T20:33:12+01:00
When you get drunk in Australia do you get the spins counter-clockwise?

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Posted 2010-12-06T23:50:06+01:00
The news just issued a Freeze warning for tonight!!!! Ladies for ur information us big guys can and will be used as Snuggies tonight !!! Please make your appointments ASAP we are running out !!!

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Comment by Anonymous

You can tell it's a big deal from all of the exclamation points ladies, he's not joking around

Posted 2010-12-06T23:23:32+01:00
I found a dollar the other day. It made me so happy that I had to sit down and reevaluate my life.

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Posted 2010-12-06T23:03:20+01:00
Came into work early, forgot my keys, this is what Alanis was talking about.

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Comment by Anonymous

alanis morissette... the singer.

Comment by Anonymous

mad

Comment by Anonymous

I can relate.

Comment by Hakim1125

WHAT/WHO THE f**k IS ALANIS.

Comment by Janda

What.

Posted 2010-12-06T22:49:19+01:00
Coping with yet another Facebook change

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Posted 2010-12-06T05:10:34+01:00
Cant believe mom's still mad that I started the Thanksgiving prayer with "dear lord baby jesus".

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Posted 2010-12-05T06:47:08+01:00
I'm better at remembering people who have bad breath than important historical facts.

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Posted 2010-12-04T07:50:17+01:00
Body scans and genital fondlings would save more lives if our Government was paying to have them done in hospitals rather than airports.

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Comment by Anonymous

Interesting thought

Comment by Anonymous

Why do people still think the Govt can do anything right? I'd rather pay the damn doctor myself and skip the greedy middlemen...I can launder my own money, thank you.

Posted 2010-12-03T20:42:11+01:00
The lady in front of me in the Starbucks drive-thru paid for my coffee this morning. Pay it forward

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Posted 2010-12-03T18:46:31+01:00
I prefer texting over phone calls because it gives me more time to think about what to say.

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