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Posted 2012-01-02T21:32:53-07:00
Maybe if we over-paid our teachers and under-paid our Pop artists there would better education and less bad music.

Win(8)
Comment by Anonymous

but you just said that over paying will make people crappier at their job….

Comment by Anonymous

lol @the comments below

Comment by Anonymous

As a bacon hoarder nipple puller, anal lovin chest crushing fugly nanny, i agree.

Comment by Anonymous

As chuck Norris, i agree too.

Comment by Anonymous

As a monkey f**king tour guide I agree too.

Comment by Anonymous

As a Hispanic Nunchuck Nipple Grabbing Jack Beaver Thief I can say i agree somewhat...

Comment by Anonymous

As an unemployed Musician...I disagree. No, wait....

Comment by Anonymous

As an illiterate truckdriver... what the fuck are y'all takin' about!?!

Comment by Anonymous

As a chronic masturbater I would agree too.

Comment by Anonymous

As a Mormon Blacksmith I agree too

Comment by Anonymous

As a Tranny bicycle thief I agree too

Comment by Anonymous

As a Tranny bicycle thief I agree too

Comment by Anonymous

Has nothing to do with how much the teachers are paid. The education system sucks and is a complete joke.

Comment by Anonymous

As a person that lived through the whole Rebecca Black weekend I agree too

Comment by Anonymous

As a grandpa I completely agree too.

Comment by Anonymous

As a parent I completely agree.

Comment by Anonymous

Get over yourself grandma.

Posted 2012-08-14T19:58:00-06:00
I feel kinda guilty when I waste perfectly condescending answers on an idiot.

Funny(46)
Posted 2011-12-08T16:31:34-07:00
My new party trick.. I swallow two pieces of string and an hour later they come out of my ass tied together..... I shit you knot."

Epic(10)
Comment by Anonymous

wow... amazing!

Posted 2011-11-12T03:09:23-07:00
1 universe, 8 planets, 204 countries, 804 islands, 7 seas, 7 billion people and my heart still tells me it's you.

Win(12)
Comment by Anonymous

Jumping from universe to planet is like going from buffet to crumb....there's no much stuff on the buffet

Comment by Anonymous

Its funny, cause if you correctly search, its 196 countries. or 195 if you dont count Taiwan, cause most of the U.N. recognize it as a break away province from china. You stupid Suthernf**k.

Comment by Swampsilly

All you really needed to say was the 7 billion people. I can't imagine anyone falling in love with an island...

Comment by Anonymous

There are over 7 million 258 thousand (7,258,000) Llamas on Earth today

Comment by Anonymous

LOVE THIS !!!!!!!!!!

Comment by Anonymous

I don't need your fairy condolences … and please stay single … women deserve better

Comment by Anonymous

Why does it have to be a man that wrote this?

Comment by Anonymous

You have a wife? I'm sorry for your loss. My condolences.

Comment by Anonymous

Being a gentleman is not being whipped it's more manly than acting like a dick, perhaps you boys could learn something from a man as I am sure your father was not there to teach you or he was just a bad parent that raised a piece of scum.

Comment by Anonymous

this guy may be whipped but he has 59 likes right now and a chick. All you haters have probly never opened a door for a woman. He knows what hes doing leave it.

Comment by Anonymous

Oh shut the f**k up and accept the post for what it is... i got the extra goodies last night for texting this to my wife... good enough

Comment by Anonymous

Sci-fi Quote of the Day

Comment by Anonymous

You do realize 1 universe has like gazzlion plants and still evolving right........universe is never ending and there is always new planets forming and obviously there's millions of life forms out there we don't have the technology to find.

Comment by Anonymous

If this is a guy writing this which i hope its not, you pussy whipped...

Comment by Anonymous

Just like the planet, no human has ever been NEAR my anus, unless you're offering.

Comment by Anonymous

hahahahahaha.... uranus...

Comment by Anonymous

I thought this was cute

Comment by Anonymous

7 billion people and you're the biggest fucking pussy of them all.

Comment by Anonymous

That's a lot of islands up for grabs

Comment by Anonymous

I'm having one with uranus.

Comment by Anonymous

I'm having an affair with Pluto.

Posted 2011-06-25T02:49:27-06:00
"I wasn't that drunk!" "Dude, you held up my cat in the air and started singing The Circle of Life!"

Epic(11)
Comment by Anonymous

This isn't texts from last night dumbass.

Comment by Anonymous

I do that... Sober. Im hoping my kitten will learn to roar.

Comment by Anonymous

Rubbing my forehead! Lol!!!! ;)

Posted 2012-02-19T14:34:52-07:00
If your life ever seems boring just remember that you are on a rock floating in outer space.

Funny(9)
Posted 2011-05-29T15:30:43-06:00
That awkward moment when you're at a red light & you look at the person next to you & they're already looking at you.

Funny(19)
Comment by Anonymous

Happens to me all the time.. just done look away first or you lose

Comment by Anonymous

it's time to flash that million dollar smile....that's what it is...

Posted by Suthernfukr 2012-03-04T08:00:28-07:00
This chick I met last week says she wants a guy who is 'funny and spontaneous', yet when I tap on the kitchen window uninvited late at night dressed as a clown it's all panic and screaming.

Epic(11)
Comment by Anonymous

Toss my salad.

Comment by Anonymous

I dont care if he got it from somwhere else.. thanks for sharing suthernfukr :)

Comment by Anonymous

When does the narwhale bacon?

Comment by Anonymous

IMA FIRIN MAH LAZER!!!

Comment by Anonymous

MASH POTATOES!!!

Comment by Anonymous

Who cares where it's from ... Shit's Hilarious

Comment by Anonymous

Suthernfukr <3's COCK IN HIS ASS!

Comment by Suthernfukr

If you notice most of these posts are from some other site. Fuckin' Troll.

Comment by Suthernfukr

UH...never been to that site.

Comment by Anonymous

He got this off of memebase/reddit.

Comment by Anonymous

Not bad for a suthrnfukr

Posted 2012-03-02T23:56:36-07:00
My best guy friend ask me if there was a website with funny status's and I wanted to tell him about this one but then he would know I'm not really as funny as he thought!

Epic(13)
Comment by Anonymous

or he could already know about it and was just wondering if you told the truth!! Either way it was a funny post I have had friends ask me the same thing too, and I say "uhmmm no sry cann't help!" ..lol

Posted 2011-05-13T13:01:00-06:00
2011 Pick Up Lines: "I have a full tank of gas."

Funny(9)
Posted 2009-11-04T13:46:05-07:00
you know what i hate? those DAMNED 'push to wash' sinks in public restrooms!!!!! UGHhhhHh what is the purpose?!?! they only stay on for bout 2.5 seconds IF THAT, then you gotta hold it and wash one hand, and switch, and BAMMM you got more germs then you started with! fck it... im just not gonna wash my hands anymore

Epic(13)
Comment by Anonymous

cover the button with a tissue, BAMM germs are separated

Posted 2011-05-24T00:04:27-06:00
Drinks at the bar should be served in capri sun-like pouches, and if you can't get the straw in then they cut you off.

Epic(9)
Comment by Anonymous

Shoot....I can't get the straw in when I'm sober, let alone plastered.

Posted 2011-02-27T11:53:01-07:00
Maybe you should eat make-up so you can be pretty on the inside.

Epic(11)
Posted by Suthernfukr 2012-02-16T08:32:01-07:00
Has anyone else noticed that the symbol "&" looks like a man dragging his butt across the floor?

Funny(14)
Comment by Anonymous

Looks more like a man in a wheelchair racing.

Comment by Anonymous

I don't see it

Comment by Anonymous

lmaooo that was a good one

Posted 2013-06-27T17:20:36-06:00
Everyone talks about leaving a better planet for our kids. Let's try to leave better kids for our planet.

Epic(9)
Posted 2012-07-11T14:09:54-06:00
The guy that comments old is getting old. He spends more time supervising this site than he does living.

Funny(10)
Comment by Anonymous

hahahaha!! You made my day :D

Comment by Anonymous

hahahahahahahahaha a million thumbs up for this one. HIGH FIVE! :)

Comment by Anonymous

Come up with your own shit dumb hoe

Comment by Anonymous

Blah.... You aint shit

Comment by Anonymous

Blah.... You aint shit

Comment by Anonymous

FYI..... I'm a woman and some of us don't want to look like a loser by posting OLD shit on our fb.

Comment by Anonymous

First commentor you only just gave this status more truth

Comment by Anonymous

saying stfu faggots is old..

Comment by Anonymous

It must be Suthernfukr ... he lives here.

Posted 2012-05-08T15:50:49-06:00
I find it ironic that the colors red, white, and blue represent freedom until they are flashing behind you...

Epic(15)
Comment by Anonymous

lmaooo good one, had me dying!

Comment by Anonymous

Got 32 likes on this one.. Thank you good sir

Posted 2011-04-24T18:18:21-06:00
You can't hum while holding your nose. Try it.

Funny(10)
Comment by Anonymous

SURE you can just hum with your mouth open... DUMBASS!.. lol

Comment by Anonymous

i did it it just didnt sound like humming 0.o

Comment by Anonymous

i did but i sounded super dumb(:

Comment by Anonymous

@Dreadnought LMAOOOO

Comment by Dreadnought

You can't fart while a finger in your butt. Try it:)

Comment by Anonymous

well looks like 56 other people liked this so who gives a f**k what you think

Comment by Anonymous

No humor in it at all. Just facts and f**ktardedness!

Comment by Anonymous

the humor is you believe it dumbass!

Comment by Anonymous

i dont see any humor in this one at all

Posted 2012-03-08T23:23:03-07:00
I've always wanted to get into a cab and yell, 'Follow that car!!!'

Funny(30)
Comment by Anonymous

same i just wanna follow tht car and go watch some porn the f**k a bitch

Comment by Anonymous

I also wanna do that

Comment by Anonymous

What is with these f**king idiots reposting OLD COMMENTS like they ACTUALLY came up with them???????

Comment by Anonymous

i wanna do that to

Comment by Anonymous

comment below... EPIC

Comment by Anonymous

comment below... EPIC

Comment by Anonymous

*Reply to the posts beginning with "Yeah."* Don't take things too literally, you scrotum. In order to get to where you want to go on Cash Cab (and win money), you have to correctly answer questions. Do you realize how frustrating it would be if that didn't happen and you REALLY had to follow someone? Geez.

Comment by Anonymous

I think he was joking ya dip ;)

Comment by Anonymous

Yeah, you lost.

Comment by Anonymous

Yeah....okay. You were on Cash Cab. Uh huh. And that's relevant to this post how? Oh right, it's not.

Comment by Anonymous

I've done that. It turned out to be Cash Cab and you know how that works.

Posted 2012-01-28T00:45:18-07:00
Be careful who you call friends. I'd rather have 4 quarters than 100 pennies.

Epic(11)

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