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Posted 2011-04-19T04:23:10+02:00
Relationships are like fat people, most of them don't work out.

Funny(18)
Comment by Anonymous

Bullshit!.. If it doesn't work out it is not a relationship lol

Comment by Anonymous

I DO WORK OUT BUT STIL "PHAT AND PROUD"

Comment by Anonymous

thats not funny thats mean and disrespectful and i weigh 94 pounds and i think thats rude

Comment by Anonymous

Chubby cheeks ;)

Comment by Anonymous

Lol @ last comment.

Comment by Anonymous

then you dont work out

Comment by Anonymous

wat the fuck i'm fat

Posted 2010-10-08T19:58:22+02:00
Spellcheck? I just type the words into Google and see if it corrects me.

Funny(13)
Comment by Anonymous

Did any of you go to school? Or graduate?

Comment by Anonymous

I'm not alone...

Comment by Anonymous

YES! I do that too!

Posted 2012-03-09T07:23:03+01:00
I've always wanted to get into a cab and yell, 'Follow that car!!!'

Funny(29)
Comment by Anonymous

same i just wanna follow tht car and go watch some porn the fuck a bitch

Comment by Anonymous

I also wanna do that

Comment by Anonymous

What is with these f**king idiots reposting OLD COMMENTS like they ACTUALLY came up with them???????

Comment by Anonymous

i wanna do that to

Comment by Anonymous

comment below... EPIC

Comment by Anonymous

comment below... EPIC

Comment by Anonymous

*Reply to the posts beginning with "Yeah."* Don't take things too literally, you scrotum. In order to get to where you want to go on Cash Cab (and win money), you have to correctly answer questions. Do you realize how frustrating it would be if that didn't happen and you REALLY had to follow someone? Geez.

Comment by Anonymous

I think he was joking ya dip ;)

Comment by Anonymous

Yeah, you lost.

Comment by Anonymous

Yeah....okay. You were on Cash Cab. Uh huh. And that's relevant to this post how? Oh right, it's not.

Comment by Anonymous

I've done that. It turned out to be Cash Cab and you know how that works.

Posted 2011-03-27T21:19:59+02:00
Thanks to this page i'm 'that guy with the cool updates'. The sad thing's tht none of my friends will ever knw about u:)

Funny(8)
Posted 2011-03-07T02:49:27+01:00
I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.

Epic(10)
Comment by Anonymous

Sounds like something a stupid cunt would say.....

Comment by Anonymous

omg so true haha

Posted 2010-10-23T04:56:26+02:00
a fart is merely the cry of an imprisoned turd

Funny(20)
Comment by Anonymous

hahaha love this one!

Posted 2009-12-06T04:53:42+01:00
What do people in China call their good dishes?

Funny(21)
Comment by Anonymous

Shitty Dishes.

Comment by Anonymous

lmfaooo too funny

Comment by Anonymous

that would be funyn ifthey did call it america

Comment by Anonymous

that was a stupid comment "they call it American" just saying.....

Comment by Anonymous

lol maybe they just call it American

Posted 2012-12-06T15:50:24+01:00
I hate how people complain on a status saying "OLD." and "We've already seen this." You know what else is old? You complaining about reposts. You're just here to steal statuses anyways, you unoriginal morons, so get over it.

Epic(10)
Comment by Anonymous

To your left is a cliff, and to your right is a horny porcupine

Comment by Anonymous

get a life fag

Comment by Anonymous

Go stand in the f**king corner bitch!

Comment by Anonymous

old, seen this before

Comment by Anonymous

my balls smell funny

Comment by Anonymous

*GAY PORN HARD*!!!!!

Comment by Anonymous

*TITTY SPRINKLES*

Comment by Anonymous

vv A rake would work better. vv

Comment by Anonymous

This status will help...

Comment by Anonymous

question, i recently shit in my underwear, i can't seem to get the shit stains off, do u think a metal scraper would help?

Comment by Anonymous

The person that wrote this must be the same person who comments old on everything.. Lmao

Comment by Anonymous

Where did you steal that one from?

Comment by Anonymous

or what? you gonna come thru my laptop and punch me? your idle threats mean nothing ... i do what i want to do. bitch

Comment by Anonymous

OLD AND WRINKLY

Comment by Anonymous

And something blue

Comment by Anonymous

something borrowed

Posted 2012-10-05T05:42:09+02:00
Status stalker needs a thumbs up and a thumbs down for the comments also. Thumbs up if you agree

Win(6)
Comment by Anonymous

Sex, Suck, Lick, Rub, FUCK

Comment by Anonymous

Dude hell yes, I really like that comment about footwear in my anus.

Comment by Anonymous

Make sure and Lube it up cuz I like sneakers up my ass.

Comment by Anonymous

my sneaker ... up your ass

Comment by Anonymous

my sneaker ... up your ass

Posted 2009-12-12T21:42:54+01:00
used Tag bodywash this morning and was looking forward to a goodtime before work. Unfortunately, no girls busted through walls or outran cheetahs to ravage me, dammit.

Funny(20)
Posted 2012-07-12T05:52:47+02:00
How do you tell a Romney supporter from an Obama supporter? Romney supporters sign their checks on the front; Obama supporters sign them on the back.

Epic(10)
Comment by Anonymous

Barack Obama… • Never served in the military. Not even R.O.T.C. Why is he our Commander-in-Chief? • Never owned, ran or even managed a business, not even a hotdog stand. Why is he now 'CEO' of the greatest nation on earth? • Never balanced a budget or managed a payroll. Why is he in charge of the largest economy in the world? • Never was a doctor, a nurse or ever worked in any health care profession. Why is he being trusted to completely take over America's health care system? • Never was Mayor of a city, or Governor of a state, in fact, he has no executive experience whatsoever. Why is he in charge of the executive branch of the United States government? • Is a failed, corrupt 'resign or be disbarred' lawyer. Why is he trusted to appoint our, Secretary of State, Supreme Court justices and Attorney General? • Never was a success in any area of his life except campaigning and running for office (and writing two 'autobiographies' before he ever accomplished anything.) Why was he elected President of the United States of America?

Comment by Anonymous

I'm white and from an upperclass part of Chicago and I love obama..best president ever...share tge wealth..help other americans that's what america is about

Comment by Anonymous

Had to be a white ass cracka that posted this corny shit, smh. Yall wonder why u will NEVER prosper. You OPENLY put African Americans down for decades with no remorse wutsoeva. So fuk yall NOW and RUN YA POCKETS!!!! Bwahahaha

Comment by Anonymous

VOTE ME FOR PRES!! FREE LLAMAS FOR EVERYONE!

Comment by Anonymous

God I hate politics.

Comment by Anonymous

The best way to tell the difference is that Romney supporters are absolute douches.FUCK AMERICA, I AM SENDING JOBS OVERSEAS, AND HIDING MY TAX RETURNS!

Comment by Anonymous

People who receive checks: Land Lords, art dealers, auto mechanics, Traders, seniors, and welfare recipients.. does that look like a homogenous group? It's only funny when it's not stupid!!

Comment by Anonymous

People ... why are you taking everything so serious? It's only a joke! Lighten up ... have a good time ere ....LAUGH!!

Comment by Anonymous

Commenter below me: You're the one asking questions not him.. so who is clueless?

Comment by Anonymous

Commenter below me is clearly bias with absolutely no supporting facts, and just blatantly spews whatever jizz obama dribbles into their mouth. How does it feel to be clueless?

Comment by Anonymous

Still a dumb post if you ask me.. once a check is written out, someone has to sign at the back.. whether it's a Romney supporter paying for a DUI, and a Tax fine or an Obama supporter reciving money for goods sold! Next time put up posts that are clear enough..

Comment by Anonymous

VOTE ME FOR PRES!

Comment by Anonymous

One mans 'lame post' is anothers treasure ...

Comment by Anonymous

Commenter below me: is that what your momma told you to say? The one who pays your bills while you post lame shit on this site.

Comment by Anonymous

First commentor. You're right. Romney supporters keep paying their employees. They're the only ones who can provide jobs for those of us who don't want to live on Obamas handouts while we sit at home playing XBox. Like you.

Comment by Anonymous

Put obamas face on the food stamp

Comment by Anonymous

Hey first poster ... I.E. Romney supporters pay their bills ... and the bills of Obama supporters ( all the people who want their free stuff)

Comment by Anonymous

First commentator, for you, because your a simple person ... Obama appeals to all the people who want 'FREE' stuff ... entitlements .. healthcare ... welfare ...etc. Hey Baby, ain't nothin' free.

Comment by Anonymous

First commentor, you're a fuckin' idiot. I hope you don't vote.

Comment by Anonymous

True!!!! And I hope you don't mind....... I will be using this one myself!!!!!

Comment by Anonymous

haha love this one, Obama supporters are all signing their welfare checks, priceless..

Comment by Anonymous

In other words, Obama supporters get paid.. but Romney supporters keep paying... hmmmmm

Posted 2010-11-06T23:04:26+01:00
In the past, when you were angry with someone you argued with them. Now you just delete them off Facebook.

Epic(12)
Posted by Leah6666 2012-03-23T16:37:11+01:00
I got robbed today at Shell. I called the cops, and they asked if I knew who did it. I said "yeah, pump 6."

Epic(11)
Comment by Anonymous

Really curious to know why you're sooo obsessed with the number 6? I actually feel like that number follows me in my life lmao..

Comment by Leah6666

waaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

Comment by Anonymous

Commenter one thats why they call it status stalker. stalk a status and repost it here or you can make one up. They should change your name to dumb ass.

Comment by Anonymous

This chic copies shit more than suthernfukr. They should change the name of the site to "Status Copy & Post"

Posted 2010-01-10T23:01:44+01:00
I really want to punch "The Situation" in his vagina

Funny(13)
Posted 2010-10-25T06:50:18+02:00
Everybody learns how to dance when they drop a knife

Epic(7)
Comment by Anonymous

hahaha thats soo true!!!! XD

Posted 2009-12-10T07:46:01+01:00
What's the difference between Santa Claus and Tiger Woods? Santa stop at 3 HOs

Funny(21)
Comment by Anonymous

POWER OUFF GIRLS look so dramatically down sydrummed

Posted by Suthernfukr 2012-02-18T18:03:05+01:00
They should have cell phone chargers in waiting rooms instead of magazines.

Epic(10)
Comment by Anonymous

you are hilarious!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Comment by Anonymous

VVVV GAY! VVVV

Comment by Anonymous

VVVVV BURRRRN! VVVV

Comment by Anonymous

Here's an idea...get off of suthernfukr's dick and then get off of the site all together. You're an asshole.

Comment by Anonymous

Here's an idea... How about dumb asses like Suthernfukr plan ahead when they go to the Infectious Disease Clinic and have a fully charged battery on their phone or bring their own damn charger with them.

Comment by Anonymous

Million dollar idea!

Comment by Anonymous

I totally agree! I thought the exact same thing while waiting for my dad to get out of surgery & I was trying to find an outlet

Posted 2011-02-03T23:05:05+01:00
Why do I have to bother pushing "one" for English? I'm still going to get someone who can't speak it.

Epic(9)
Posted 2011-10-14T03:26:58+02:00
My girlfriend just told me she was going to break up with me if I didn't quit making Linkin Park references. Slightly concerned, but in the end it doesn't even matter

Epic(10)
Comment by Anonymous

Haha, I see what you did there.

Comment by Anonymous

Haha this is f**king hilarious :D

Comment by Anonymous

This...is...GOLD!!!! :D

Posted by Dobermom 2011-04-09T05:51:14+02:00
Onions: $3.00, Caramel: $2.00, Popsicle sticks: $1.00. Watching your friends bite into a caramel onion thinking it's an apple: beyond priceless.

Funny(13)

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