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Posted 2011-12-09T00:31:34+01:00
My new party trick.. I swallow two pieces of string and an hour later they come out of my ass tied together..... I shit you knot."

Epic(10)
Comment by Anonymous

wow... amazing!

Posted 2011-03-08T15:23:17+01:00
The moment someone tells you that you're not good enough is the moment you know you're better than them.

Epic(18)
Posted 2011-05-24T08:04:27+02:00
Drinks at the bar should be served in capri sun-like pouches, and if you can't get the straw in then they cut you off.

Epic(9)
Comment by Anonymous

Shoot....I can't get the straw in when I'm sober, let alone plastered.

Posted 2011-04-25T02:18:21+02:00
You can't hum while holding your nose. Try it.

Funny(10)
Comment by Anonymous

SURE you can just hum with your mouth open... DUMBASS!.. lol

Comment by Anonymous

i did it it just didnt sound like humming 0.o

Comment by Anonymous

i did but i sounded super dumb(:

Comment by Anonymous

@Dreadnought LMAOOOO

Comment by Dreadnought

You can't fart while a finger in your butt. Try it:)

Comment by Anonymous

well looks like 56 other people liked this so who gives a f**k what you think

Comment by Anonymous

No humor in it at all. Just facts and f**ktardedness!

Comment by Anonymous

the humor is you believe it dumbass!

Comment by Anonymous

i dont see any humor in this one at all

Posted 2011-02-27T19:53:01+01:00
Maybe you should eat make-up so you can be pretty on the inside.

Epic(11)
Posted 2012-05-08T23:50:49+02:00
I find it ironic that the colors red, white, and blue represent freedom until they are flashing behind you...

Epic(15)
Comment by Anonymous

lmaooo good one, had me dying!

Comment by Anonymous

Got 32 likes on this one.. Thank you good sir

Posted by Suthernfukr 2012-02-16T16:32:01+01:00
Has anyone else noticed that the symbol "&" looks like a man dragging his butt across the floor?

Funny(14)
Comment by Anonymous

Looks more like a man in a wheelchair racing.

Comment by Anonymous

I don't see it

Comment by Anonymous

lmaooo that was a good one

Posted 2011-04-19T04:23:10+02:00
Relationships are like fat people, most of them don't work out.

Funny(18)
Comment by Anonymous

Bullshit!.. If it doesn't work out it is not a relationship lol

Comment by Anonymous

I DO WORK OUT BUT STIL "PHAT AND PROUD"

Comment by Anonymous

thats not funny thats mean and disrespectful and i weigh 94 pounds and i think thats rude

Comment by Anonymous

Chubby cheeks ;)

Comment by Anonymous

Lol @ last comment.

Comment by Anonymous

then you dont work out

Comment by Anonymous

wat the fuck i'm fat

Posted 2010-11-12T04:16:52+01:00
Teenage pregnancy just dropped 50% due to the release of black ops.

Epic(17)
Comment by Anonymous

hahaha... true!! so true!!

Comment by Anonymous

Haha that's a good one

Posted 2009-12-06T04:53:42+01:00
What do people in China call their good dishes?

Funny(21)
Comment by Anonymous

Shitty Dishes.

Comment by Anonymous

lmfaooo too funny

Comment by Anonymous

that would be funyn ifthey did call it america

Comment by Anonymous

that was a stupid comment "they call it American" just saying.....

Comment by Anonymous

lol maybe they just call it American

Posted 2013-06-28T01:20:36+02:00
Everyone talks about leaving a better planet for our kids. Let's try to leave better kids for our planet.

Epic(9)
Posted 2011-03-30T07:22:55+02:00
The cool thing about The Clapper is it doubles as a strobe light during sex.

Epic(12)
Posted 2011-03-27T21:19:59+02:00
Thanks to this page i'm 'that guy with the cool updates'. The sad thing's tht none of my friends will ever knw about u:)

Funny(8)
Posted 2012-12-06T15:50:24+01:00
I hate how people complain on a status saying "OLD." and "We've already seen this." You know what else is old? You complaining about reposts. You're just here to steal statuses anyways, you unoriginal morons, so get over it.

Epic(10)
Comment by Anonymous

To your left is a cliff, and to your right is a horny porcupine

Comment by Anonymous

get a life fag

Comment by Anonymous

Go stand in the f**king corner bitch!

Comment by Anonymous

old, seen this before

Comment by Anonymous

my balls smell funny

Comment by Anonymous

*GAY PORN HARD*!!!!!

Comment by Anonymous

*TITTY SPRINKLES*

Comment by Anonymous

vv A rake would work better. vv

Comment by Anonymous

This status will help...

Comment by Anonymous

question, i recently shit in my underwear, i can't seem to get the shit stains off, do u think a metal scraper would help?

Comment by Anonymous

The person that wrote this must be the same person who comments old on everything.. Lmao

Comment by Anonymous

Where did you steal that one from?

Comment by Anonymous

or what? you gonna come thru my laptop and punch me? your idle threats mean nothing ... i do what i want to do. bitch

Comment by Anonymous

OLD AND WRINKLY

Comment by Anonymous

And something blue

Comment by Anonymous

something borrowed

Posted 2011-04-16T10:44:07+02:00
I love how in scary movies how the person yells out "hello" as if the killer is gonna say "yeah I'm in the kitchen"  "want a sandwhich" 

Funny(13)
Comment by Anonymous

lol. hahahahaha

Comment by Voodoochild

Hahaha you got owned .... High five to the comment below

Comment by Anonymous

There was no need to capitalize fail & spelling. Love should have been capitalized however. Tool.

Comment by Anonymous

love how people Fail in their Spelling . . .!!

Posted 2011-03-07T02:49:27+01:00
I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.

Epic(10)
Comment by Anonymous

Sounds like something a stupid cunt would say.....

Comment by Anonymous

omg so true haha

Posted 2009-12-10T07:46:01+01:00
What's the difference between Santa Claus and Tiger Woods? Santa stop at 3 HOs

Funny(21)
Comment by Anonymous

POWER OUFF GIRLS look so dramatically down sydrummed

Posted by Alaska 2012-05-13T04:58:35+02:00
Cheating is not an accident. Falling off a bike is an accident. You don't just trip and fall into someone's vagina.

Funny(19)
Comment by Anonymous

What if there's an explanation for this shit...What? She tripped, fell, landed on his dick7?

Comment by Anonymous

why is it always the guy...like some cheating bitch can't accidently trip and fall on a dick!!!

Comment by Anonymous

HAHAHA...AT THE FIRST COMMENT

Comment by Anonymous

That's not true it is completely possible, the girl needs her legs spread and her hips at a 50-60 degree angle, and the guy needs to plant his knees first so the penis doesn't impact with all of the force from the fall

Posted 2012-10-09T18:00:10+02:00
Making a new mint flavored birth control pill that you take right before sex. I am calling them 'Predickamints.'

Epic(9)
Comment by Anonymous

There actually is a chewable birth control pill (femcon) that is mint flavored.

Comment by Anonymous

good to know "Anonymous" -_-

Comment by Anonymous

Thumbs up - Clever! (see people, I don't trash everyone) ... submit a great post ... and I'l tell you its great!

Comment by Anonymous

hahahahahahahahaha

Posted by Leah6666 2012-03-23T16:37:11+01:00
I got robbed today at Shell. I called the cops, and they asked if I knew who did it. I said "yeah, pump 6."

Epic(11)
Comment by Anonymous

Really curious to know why you're sooo obsessed with the number 6? I actually feel like that number follows me in my life lmao..

Comment by Leah6666

waaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

Comment by Anonymous

Commenter one thats why they call it status stalker. stalk a status and repost it here or you can make one up. They should change your name to dumb ass.

Comment by Anonymous

This chic copies shit more than suthernfukr. They should change the name of the site to "Status Copy & Post"


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