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Posted 2012-09-18T16:58:30+02:00
Guys, go easy on Mitt. It's the first time he's actually applied for a job.

Epic(11)
Comment by Anonymous

Yeah Mitt could buy and sell every one of your liberal asses. Obastard's doing SUCH a great job... Fucking morons...

Comment by Anonymous

Ummm, no. That would be Obama.

Comment by Anonymous

What in the hell does legislation have anything to do with the economy? Why do you as a person want politicians to continue to pass laws and, therefore, put restrictions upon yourself? And what law do you think can be written that will magically flourish our economy into a bull market? Laws have absolutely nothing to do with any of the problems we are experiencing. The fundamentals of your political logic is flawed from the beginning. We should actually be focusing on getting ridding some laws (Patriot Act, NDAA, etc).

Comment by Anonymous

Romney and Obama work for the same CORPORATIONS! They don't care about us. They don't give a crap about "WE THE PEOPLE" because they are money hungry dictators. 2 cheeks to the same ass.

Comment by Anonymous

Ron Paul? The old man hasn't passed or for that matter proposed a major piece of legislation in over 17 years. He needs to retire so someone much younger & hungrier can get stuff done.

Comment by Anonymous

V Correcting my typo "You would build somebody who would actually...."

Comment by Anonymous

Ron Paul was the only decent choice; and he still wasn't perfect. Where Obama lacks (fiscal ideas), Romney makes up for. Where Romney lacks (social common sense), Obama makes up for. Politics is a game played to keep the people divided and arguing. I'm pretty sure that if any of you got to build a politician from scratch, none of you would build an Obama or a Romney. You would build somebody actually balance the budget, start paying off debt, and restore our civil liberties (Patriot Act, NDAA, etc). Corporations and the media have actually tricked you guys into supporting morons.

Comment by Anonymous

classic lmao I'm the first to admit that Mitt is a bum and a loser and will never get my vote

Comment by Anonymous

vv And how was that a bad thing he said about the Americans? Is it not true? Proof would be to point out that we have Obama as President. And at least he won't go around to every country and apologize to them for us being America. vv

Comment by Anonymous

I think everyone is misinformed. Yesterday Romney was caught on camera calling Americans pushovers and easily manipulative. He also made digs at China, Norway, and Britain. If he ends up president, which he wont, he'll end up starting WW3 because of a hurt ego.

Comment by Anonymous

im for obama....i voted for him, but in the end it doesnt matter. i believe they have it rigged and already got their winner in mind. smh

Comment by Anonymous

vv Sick burn. Lol. vv

Comment by Anonymous

You know what...... You're not worth it!!!

Comment by Anonymous

vv Lol, you Liberal Demoncats are so dumb. vv

Comment by Anonymous

Yeah. With comments like "fuck Obama" shows the true intellectual capacity of the person. Do everyone a favor and do not vote, or procreate for that matter. I should've said breed. It's the same as procreate for you Romney fans.

Comment by Anonymous

I'm an Obama supporter and I approve this status

Comment by Anonymous

Romney's a fuckin douche!! and his supporters or fucking morons

Comment by Anonymous

Really I support Obama and I have owned and operated my own electrical contracting company for 30 yrs, never once collecting welfare, it is ignorance such as yours that shows true Romney supporter intellect,

Comment by Anonymous

agree with the two comments FUCK OBAMA

Comment by Anonymous

He should just drop the job search and get on welfare along with all the obama supporters

Comment by Anonymous

uh no ... think you meant to insert Obama's name, cause he's only had one job ... community organizer - if u call that a job.

Posted 2011-06-23T09:41:56+02:00
If you're in love with 2 people, pick the second one, If you really loved the 1st, you wouldn't have fallen for the 2nd.

Win(4)
Comment by Anonymous

-Johnny Depp <3

Comment by Anonymous

this is a quote by johnny depp. nice atempt trying to seem original.

Posted 2011-10-06T22:02:38+02:00
You offer someone a sincere compliment on their mustache and suddenly she's not your friend anymore.

Epic(7)
Comment by Anonymous

rofl @ last comment

Comment by Anonymous

this has happened to me like once..

Comment by Anonymous

the one thumbs down, must have been the girl he complimented ....

Posted 2011-08-25T20:19:35+02:00
It's all shits and giggles till somebody giggles and shits.

Funny(8)
Posted 2013-04-22T02:50:04+02:00
Today I saw a sign for a suicide helpline on the back of a bus. Wouldn't it be a lot more helpful if it was on the front?

Funny(11)
Comment by Anonymous

V Who put the dick's in that guys Cheerios??

Comment by Anonymous

Nope still not funny it's sick like u are 36 is a false number it's easy to multiple click

Comment by Anonymous

Sure it was funny... 32 people thought it was

Comment by Anonymous

Not at all funny

Posted 2012-05-18T11:53:24+02:00
A man and his wife were awakened at 3:00 am by a loud pounding on the door. The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger, standing in the pouring rain, is asking for a push. 'Not a chance,' says the husband, 'it is 3:00 in the morning!'He slams the door and returns to bed. 'Who was that?' asked his wife. 'Just some drunk guy asking for a push,' he answers. 'Did you help him?' she asks. 'No, I did not, it is 3:00 in the morning and it is pouring rain out there!''Well, you have a short memory,' says his wife. 'Can't you remember about three months ago when we broke down, and those two guys helped us? I think you should help him, and you should be ashamed of yourself!' The man does as he is told, gets dressed, and goes out into the pounding rain. He calls out into the dark, 'Hello, are you still there?' 'Yes,' comes back the answer. 'Do you still need a push?' calls out the husband. 'Yes, please!' comes the reply from the dark. 'Where are you?' asks the husband. 'Over here on the swing,' replied the drunk.

Funny(13)
Comment by Anonymous

Please, be kind and unwind. If not, GO FUCK YOURSELF and make your OWN damn statuses. Thank you!:)

Comment by Anonymous

you are all idiots this is funny and if this takes you two minutes to read I hope you don't reproduce.

Comment by Despin

I thought it was pretty funny, lol!!!

Comment by Anonymous

Omg.... Such waste of time. I an not believe it! And honestly.... This I the first time ever that I am leaving a negative comment. I never thought I would do it.... But this thing.... It was waaaaaaayyy toooo long but I kept thinking that something great and really funny will come out of it. I'm still waiting for that.... It never happened. It never will.

Comment by Planet

actually couldn't make heads nor tails of it...went back and re-read several times.

Comment by Anonymous

Zzzzzzzzzz...

Comment by Anonymous

Damn planet, you read really slow! J/K, this was a waste of time

Comment by Planet

took me two minutes to read thru this mess........thats two minutes of my life I just can't get back..........BASTARD,!

Comment by Anonymous

Lame, old, and retired.

Posted by Leah6666 2012-03-13T17:47:25+01:00
Here is why we have a obesity problem in america: Because Burgers are $.99, & Salads are $4.99.

Win(9)
Comment by Anonymous

Wow dumbass.....no shit, its just a status, not a fact finding session.

Comment by Anonymous

The problem is lazy people, not the price of food.

Comment by Leah6666

lol, actually I stole it from a buddy of mine on FB. where he got it from IDK. Get your facts straight f**ktard. :-)

Comment by Anonymous

And who do you think poste it there dumbass!!

Comment by Anonymous

copied from funnystatus.com

Posted 2014-04-22T02:49:03+02:00
If you call yourself a Christian, do us all a favor. Go perform an act of kindness or charity and shut the fuck up about gay people.

Fail(14)
Comment by Anonymous

We Christians are just sinners saved by grace. Hate the sin not the sinner and pray for those who fall short of the Glory of God.

Comment by Anonymous

Your post is beyond ignorant. Apparently you Liberal left freaks that are soooo tolerant are only tolerant of people who think exactly like you do. FO and die

Comment by Anonymous

If you're a gay person, do us all a favor and stop prancing round like some fairy just to get attention. 90% of gays: "We're the same as everyone else, so don't treat us like we're different......but ABSOLUTELY treat us like we're special. If there's a gay athlete who sucks, make sure to cover him non-stop on ESPN just cuz he put a spotlight on himself about being gay"

Comment by Anonymous

If you're some "Marriage equality" faggot, start supporting and protesting for the rights of polygamists too, you hypocritical pieces of shit

Comment by Anonymous

Real Christians do not preach hate!! But you can not expect us to accept something the Bible says is sin just to make you feel better. But that sure doesn't mean we can't be friends, or family, or get along. Life is too short for hate! I hope you find peace and happiness!!

Comment by Anonymous

I have a novel idea. Why don't we all just learn to get along , not care what people are, and who they choose to worship. ;-)

Comment by Anonymous

Fag jokes aren't funny, cum on guys!!!!

Comment by Anonymous

Burn in hell queer!

Comment by Anonymous

Disgusting, filthy,disease ridden faggots.

Comment by Anonymous

Angry, stupid, hypocritical bible thumpers.

Comment by Anonymous

If they only could. : )

Comment by Anonymous

The mere fact that someone doesn't beat the fuck out of you should be considered an act of kindness.

Comment by Anonymous

Two fags walk into a bar. They order drinks and have sex with each other in a stall in the men's bathroom. They both get AIDS and die. The world rejoices.

Comment by Anonymous

Oh no! You're feelings are being hurt because the reality of people's opinions are just hard to swallow (pun intended). Go get a reality check and pick up the DSM 3 book and look up the diagnosis of your inner problem. It's all in there.

Comment by Anonymous

If you call yourself an atheist fag , do us all a favor and choke to death on a AIDS ridden cock, faggot!

Comment by Anonymous

If you're an atheist, do everyone a favor and kill yourself because you have no reason to live. You're just a waste of space.

Comment by Anonymous

Some dumb faggot was mad and came up with this status

Comment by Anonymous

Does it hurt to be that stupid? Christians give more to charity than any other group combined. And acts of kindness? I guess feeding to homeless in the US, building orphanages in Thailand, & providing free dentistry on Haiti i ant kind. How about atheists quit spreading hate because they're too stupid to realize that 99% of Christians spread love. Nice hypocracy there, moron.

Comment by Anonymous

Either way Christians should f**k off because religion is the biggest bullshit ever. Wake up.

Comment by Anonymous

What about Muslims that kill them not just talk about them? Or the Russians that put them in prison.

Comment by Anonymous

uh i know atheists who hate gays

Comment by Anonymous

Typical person stereotyping Christians, **Sighs

Comment by Anonymous

Really.... Sux a dick another place f**k off!

Comment by Anonymous

V but he could probably spell "faggot" correctly. That is, if he were a homophobic douche. Looks like you have that covered, though. Well done!

Comment by Anonymous

some faggit probably wrote this.

Posted 2011-05-04T01:53:57+02:00
I'm pretty sure the whole "ladies first" thing was created by a guy just to check out girls butt's.

Win(5)
Comment by Anonymous

eye it twas but ye shall never know if i speak they truth to ya!!!

Posted 2011-01-26T07:09:40+01:00
Dear NASA, Your mom thought I was big enough. Sincerely, Pluto.

Epic(17)
Posted 2013-10-23T19:29:05+02:00
A good woman will make you a sandwich. A great woman will suck your dick while you eat it.

Get a Life(19)
Comment by Anonymous

No one can stand in the corner. Your mothers are to busy lining up for big black dick in the corner already.

Comment by Anonymous

Those saying that there is no such thing as a great women are too fat and ugly to get one.

Comment by Anonymous

Your father is one lucky man.

Comment by Anonymous

Chances are......This just in........you're a loser !

Comment by Anonymous

If you can eat the sandwich while she's doing it.....she's doing it wrong!

Comment by Anonymous

V obviously a dumb fem.

Comment by Anonymous

Go stand in the corner, you creep!

Comment by Anonymous

V right!, just mouths.

Comment by Anonymous

No such thing as a good or great woman...

Comment by Anonymous

spoken like a true virgin

Comment by Anonymous

v I hear you prefer your father tho so I guess they need more practice.

Comment by Anonymous

Anonymous..... so is your mother, sister and grandma.

Comment by Anonymous

your mother is a great woman.

Posted 2013-09-17T21:43:36+02:00
Sometimes I just sit and run my fingers through my girl's hair. Its a nice way to let her know I love her and also that we're out of napkins

Funny(7)
Comment by Anonymous

Love this one!

Comment by Anonymous

V Then I am gonna stab it, create a bloody dick mess

Comment by Anonymous

v that will be better than a fine tooth comb

Comment by Anonymous

I'm gonna run my dick through your girl's hair,

Posted 2012-12-18T21:48:57+01:00
Maybe this is what the Mayans predicted. Not an asteroid, or a solar flare, but the end of what we are. We no longer cherish life, or other people, even the earth or the animals and resources put on it. War, genocide, abuse, senseless mass murder, animal cruelty, gluttony, greed, waste and lust... Look around you, the end of the world is already here.

Epic(8)
Comment by Anonymous

No, I'm pretty sure the Mayans predicted the end of the world physically as we know it. Oh and if you think all of this is new, well your wrong. All that has existed in this world since Adam let Eve take a bite of that apple.

Comment by Anonymous

At least someone got the reference. : )

Comment by Anonymous

Hey asshole this has been happening for thousands of years, read a history book for once

Comment by Anonymous

This has been around since forever. Enjoy the ride.

Comment by Anonymous

I invented the internet ~ Al Gore

Comment by Anonymous

lol alright jay

Comment by Anonymous

What the f**k is the internet?

Comment by Anonymous

i do believe there's this new technology called the internet

Comment by Anonymous

How can they watch the world go by if they are in the basement?

Comment by Anonymous

I beat my meat!

Comment by Anonymous

the reason the world is the way it is is bc of dumb fucks like the majority of people that posted on this. life is just a joke to them, they sit and watch the world go by while they sit in their mom's basement all day

Comment by Anonymous

You complaining bitches. Re-read the post and breathe it the fuck in. Look in the mirror, it's who you are. Oh, I forgot to say fuck all of you. -Love, Asshole.

Comment by Anonymous

I like to torture my cat - is this normal?

Comment by Anonymous

I'm the first poster ... yes you are right, at least thats what my shrink keeps telling me. I love to cut myself ... in fact, i wanna hurt myself by cutting my penis ... I like to slice and dice.

Comment by Anonymous

Hey Dr Phil, go choke on a pistol you depressing fat shit!

Comment by Anonymous

"go kill yourself" -Anonymous you are what's wrong with this world

Comment by Anonymous

This is so depressing. You're posting to a wrong site.

Comment by Anonymous

go kill yourself

Posted 2011-12-30T03:49:20+01:00
To the woman with six screaming kids in Walmart, if you wonder how those condoms got in your cart, you're welcome.

Epic(7)
Comment by Anonymous

that's like closing the barn door after the horse got out;)

Posted 2011-03-23T04:18:45+01:00
One of the best feelings in the world is when you are hugging a person you love and they hug you back even tighter.

Win(10)
Comment by Anonymous

Loose butthole.

Comment by Anonymous

Maybe Voodoochild has never been hugged...

Comment by Anonymous

Voodoochild- you're a douche

Posted 2011-10-20T10:13:37+02:00
I only check my Voicemail to get rid of that little icon on the screen.

Funny(2)
Comment by Anonymous

OLD, OLD, OLD .......you fool! What the hell do you mean how is it old?

Comment by Anonymous

how is it old?

Posted 2010-11-20T20:27:45+01:00
Bored? Update your Facebook to "in a relationship" with someone you've never met just to see if they'll confirm.

Win(8)
Posted 2010-10-15T06:37:57+02:00
I think my girlfriend's hallucinating. She keeps telling me she's seeing other people.

Funny(17)
Posted 2009-11-24T05:09:44+01:00
Why is it that all females have an attraction towards a stripper pole ?? Its like a magnet !!

Get a Life(14)
Comment by Anonymous

i think the girls got the mudderfugger who created this beat!!!!

Comment by Anonymous

i think the girls got the mudderfugger who created this beat!!!!

Posted 2014-04-27T03:29:06+02:00
According to my Nike wristband pedometer, I just masturbated for four miles

Epic(7)
Comment by Anonymous

v Do you get an erection when you see your mom and sister naked? It's "were" not "was." Please stay in Kentucky where you belong.

Comment by Anonymous

Because... 5 years ago you was able to have an erection?

Comment by Anonymous

Nope... Still funny

Comment by Anonymous

Funny, 5 years ago...


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