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Posted 2011-04-24T18:18:21-06:00
You can't hum while holding your nose. Try it.

Funny(10)
Comment by Anonymous

SURE you can just hum with your mouth open... DUMBASS!.. lol

Comment by Anonymous

i did it it just didnt sound like humming 0.o

Comment by Anonymous

i did but i sounded super dumb(:

Comment by Anonymous

@Dreadnought LMAOOOO

Comment by Dreadnought

You can't fart while a finger in your butt. Try it:)

Comment by Anonymous

well looks like 56 other people liked this so who gives a f**k what you think

Comment by Anonymous

No humor in it at all. Just facts and f**ktardedness!

Comment by Anonymous

the humor is you believe it dumbass!

Comment by Anonymous

i dont see any humor in this one at all

Posted 2013-06-27T17:20:36-06:00
Everyone talks about leaving a better planet for our kids. Let's try to leave better kids for our planet.

Epic(9)
Posted 2012-03-08T23:23:03-07:00
I've always wanted to get into a cab and yell, 'Follow that car!!!'

Funny(30)
Comment by Anonymous

same i just wanna follow tht car and go watch some porn the f**k a bitch

Comment by Anonymous

I also wanna do that

Comment by Anonymous

What is with these f**king idiots reposting OLD COMMENTS like they ACTUALLY came up with them???????

Comment by Anonymous

i wanna do that to

Comment by Anonymous

comment below... EPIC

Comment by Anonymous

comment below... EPIC

Comment by Anonymous

*Reply to the posts beginning with "Yeah."* Don't take things too literally, you scrotum. In order to get to where you want to go on Cash Cab (and win money), you have to correctly answer questions. Do you realize how frustrating it would be if that didn't happen and you REALLY had to follow someone? Geez.

Comment by Anonymous

I think he was joking ya dip ;)

Comment by Anonymous

Yeah, you lost.

Comment by Anonymous

Yeah....okay. You were on Cash Cab. Uh huh. And that's relevant to this post how? Oh right, it's not.

Comment by Anonymous

I've done that. It turned out to be Cash Cab and you know how that works.

Posted 2012-01-28T00:45:18-07:00
Be careful who you call friends. I'd rather have 4 quarters than 100 pennies.

Epic(11)
Posted 2011-04-18T20:23:10-06:00
Relationships are like fat people, most of them don't work out.

Funny(18)
Comment by Anonymous

Bullshit!.. If it doesn't work out it is not a relationship lol

Comment by Anonymous

I DO WORK OUT BUT STIL "PHAT AND PROUD"

Comment by Anonymous

thats not funny thats mean and disrespectful and i weigh 94 pounds and i think thats rude

Comment by Anonymous

Chubby cheeks ;)

Comment by Anonymous

Lol @ last comment.

Comment by Anonymous

then you dont work out

Comment by Anonymous

wat the fuck i'm fat

Posted 2011-03-29T23:22:55-06:00
The cool thing about The Clapper is it doubles as a strobe light during sex.

Epic(12)
Posted 2009-12-05T20:53:42-07:00
What do people in China call their good dishes?

Funny(21)
Comment by Anonymous

Shitty Dishes.

Comment by Anonymous

lmfaooo too funny

Comment by Anonymous

that would be funyn ifthey did call it america

Comment by Anonymous

that was a stupid comment "they call it American" just saying.....

Comment by Anonymous

lol maybe they just call it American

Posted 2010-10-23T19:00:09-06:00
If you're gonna flip out on your Facebook, don't delete it all the next day. Some of us still want to share your meltdown with our friends.

Epic(8)
Posted 2012-10-09T10:00:10-06:00
Making a new mint flavored birth control pill that you take right before sex. I am calling them 'Predickamints.'

Epic(9)
Comment by Anonymous

There actually is a chewable birth control pill (femcon) that is mint flavored.

Comment by Anonymous

good to know "Anonymous" -_-

Comment by Anonymous

Thumbs up - Clever! (see people, I don't trash everyone) ... submit a great post ... and I'l tell you its great!

Comment by Anonymous

hahahahahahahahaha

Posted 2012-10-04T21:42:09-06:00
Status stalker needs a thumbs up and a thumbs down for the comments also. Thumbs up if you agree

Win(6)
Comment by Anonymous

Sex, Suck, Lick, Rub, FUCK

Comment by Anonymous

Dude hell yes, I really like that comment about footwear in my anus.

Comment by Anonymous

Make sure and Lube it up cuz I like sneakers up my ass.

Comment by Anonymous

my sneaker ... up your ass

Comment by Anonymous

my sneaker ... up your ass

Posted 2010-11-11T20:16:52-07:00
Teenage pregnancy just dropped 50% due to the release of black ops.

Epic(17)
Comment by Anonymous

hahaha... true!! so true!!

Comment by Anonymous

Haha that's a good one

Posted 2012-12-06T07:50:24-07:00
I hate how people complain on a status saying "OLD." and "We've already seen this." You know what else is old? You complaining about reposts. You're just here to steal statuses anyways, you unoriginal morons, so get over it.

Epic(10)
Comment by Anonymous

To your left is a cliff, and to your right is a horny porcupine

Comment by Anonymous

get a life fag

Comment by Anonymous

Go stand in the f**king corner bitch!

Comment by Anonymous

old, seen this before

Comment by Anonymous

my balls smell funny

Comment by Anonymous

*GAY PORN HARD*!!!!!

Comment by Anonymous

*TITTY SPRINKLES*

Comment by Anonymous

vv A rake would work better. vv

Comment by Anonymous

This status will help...

Comment by Anonymous

question, i recently shit in my underwear, i can't seem to get the shit stains off, do u think a metal scraper would help?

Comment by Anonymous

The person that wrote this must be the same person who comments old on everything.. Lmao

Comment by Anonymous

Where did you steal that one from?

Comment by Anonymous

or what? you gonna come thru my laptop and punch me? your idle threats mean nothing ... i do what i want to do. bitch

Comment by Anonymous

OLD AND WRINKLY

Comment by Anonymous

And something blue

Comment by Anonymous

something borrowed

Posted 2012-07-11T21:52:47-06:00
How do you tell a Romney supporter from an Obama supporter? Romney supporters sign their checks on the front; Obama supporters sign them on the back.

Epic(10)
Comment by Anonymous

Barack Obama… • Never served in the military. Not even R.O.T.C. Why is he our Commander-in-Chief? • Never owned, ran or even managed a business, not even a hotdog stand. Why is he now 'CEO' of the greatest nation on earth? • Never balanced a budget or managed a payroll. Why is he in charge of the largest economy in the world? • Never was a doctor, a nurse or ever worked in any health care profession. Why is he being trusted to completely take over America's health care system? • Never was Mayor of a city, or Governor of a state, in fact, he has no executive experience whatsoever. Why is he in charge of the executive branch of the United States government? • Is a failed, corrupt 'resign or be disbarred' lawyer. Why is he trusted to appoint our, Secretary of State, Supreme Court justices and Attorney General? • Never was a success in any area of his life except campaigning and running for office (and writing two 'autobiographies' before he ever accomplished anything.) Why was he elected President of the United States of America?

Comment by Anonymous

I'm white and from an upperclass part of Chicago and I love obama..best president ever...share tge wealth..help other americans that's what america is about

Comment by Anonymous

Had to be a white ass cracka that posted this corny shit, smh. Yall wonder why u will NEVER prosper. You OPENLY put African Americans down for decades with no remorse wutsoeva. So fuk yall NOW and RUN YA POCKETS!!!! Bwahahaha

Comment by Anonymous

VOTE ME FOR PRES!! FREE LLAMAS FOR EVERYONE!

Comment by Anonymous

God I hate politics.

Comment by Anonymous

The best way to tell the difference is that Romney supporters are absolute douches.FUCK AMERICA, I AM SENDING JOBS OVERSEAS, AND HIDING MY TAX RETURNS!

Comment by Anonymous

People who receive checks: Land Lords, art dealers, auto mechanics, Traders, seniors, and welfare recipients.. does that look like a homogenous group? It's only funny when it's not stupid!!

Comment by Anonymous

People ... why are you taking everything so serious? It's only a joke! Lighten up ... have a good time ere ....LAUGH!!

Comment by Anonymous

Commenter below me: You're the one asking questions not him.. so who is clueless?

Comment by Anonymous

Commenter below me is clearly bias with absolutely no supporting facts, and just blatantly spews whatever jizz obama dribbles into their mouth. How does it feel to be clueless?

Comment by Anonymous

Still a dumb post if you ask me.. once a check is written out, someone has to sign at the back.. whether it's a Romney supporter paying for a DUI, and a Tax fine or an Obama supporter reciving money for goods sold! Next time put up posts that are clear enough..

Comment by Anonymous

VOTE ME FOR PRES!

Comment by Anonymous

One mans 'lame post' is anothers treasure ...

Comment by Anonymous

Commenter below me: is that what your momma told you to say? The one who pays your bills while you post lame shit on this site.

Comment by Anonymous

First commentor. You're right. Romney supporters keep paying their employees. They're the only ones who can provide jobs for those of us who don't want to live on Obamas handouts while we sit at home playing XBox. Like you.

Comment by Anonymous

Put obamas face on the food stamp

Comment by Anonymous

Hey first poster ... I.E. Romney supporters pay their bills ... and the bills of Obama supporters ( all the people who want their free stuff)

Comment by Anonymous

First commentator, for you, because your a simple person ... Obama appeals to all the people who want 'FREE' stuff ... entitlements .. healthcare ... welfare ...etc. Hey Baby, ain't nothin' free.

Comment by Anonymous

First commentor, you're a fuckin' idiot. I hope you don't vote.

Comment by Anonymous

True!!!! And I hope you don't mind....... I will be using this one myself!!!!!

Comment by Anonymous

haha love this one, Obama supporters are all signing their welfare checks, priceless..

Comment by Anonymous

In other words, Obama supporters get paid.. but Romney supporters keep paying... hmmmmm

Posted 2011-04-16T02:44:07-06:00
I love how in scary movies how the person yells out "hello" as if the killer is gonna say "yeah I'm in the kitchen"  "want a sandwhich" 

Funny(13)
Comment by Anonymous

lol. hahahahaha

Comment by Voodoochild

Hahaha you got owned .... High five to the comment below

Comment by Anonymous

There was no need to capitalize fail & spelling. Love should have been capitalized however. Tool.

Comment by Anonymous

love how people Fail in their Spelling . . .!!

Posted 2010-11-06T16:04:26-06:00
In the past, when you were angry with someone you argued with them. Now you just delete them off Facebook.

Epic(12)
Posted 2010-10-17T11:20:22-06:00
Liking your own status on facebook is like giving yourself a high five in public...not a good look

Funny(10)
Posted 2013-09-17T13:20:45-06:00
Chinese food to go: $16.84. Gas to go get it: $1.62. Getting home and realizing they forgot one of your containers: Riceless.

Epic(12)
Comment by Anonymous

The first even slightly original status that has been posted on this in months, good job!

Comment by Anonymous

I am hungry for another status now tho...

Comment by Anonymous

HAHAHAHA YEA-aah!

Posted 2010-01-10T15:01:44-07:00
I really want to punch "The Situation" in his vagina

Funny(13)
Posted 2011-04-04T10:47:44-06:00
I hate it when I'm singing along to a song, and the artist gets it wrong.

Funny(14)
Comment by Anonymous

you guys are haters just let someone post a status. who cares if this one is allready posted. Dont act like you never reposted a status lol

Comment by Anonymous

Well not only have I never seen it before (and I feel like I've seen em' all)...but I love it and can totally relate! Thank you for posting!

Comment by Anonymous

Lmao! So, for sure it's been posted?

Comment by Anonymous

I dont think I have seen this one, thanks for posting!

Comment by Anonymous

does anyone know if this has been posted before?? Just asking

Comment by Geeznuts

Hey! i think this has been posted already...

Comment by Anonymous

Okay, we get it...it's already been posted!!

Comment by Anonymous

Its already been posted.

Comment by Anonymous

Its already been posted.

Comment by Anonymous

Its already been posted.

Comment by Anonymous

Its already been posted.

Comment by Anonymous

Its already been posted.

Comment by Jok3r

I know Right

Posted 2010-10-24T22:50:18-06:00
Everybody learns how to dance when they drop a knife

Epic(7)
Comment by Anonymous

hahaha thats soo true!!!! XD


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