Home Funny Epic Win Get A Life Fail More Most Popular
Share

« First < Previous 741 742 743 744 745 746 747 748 Next > Last »
Posted 2012-05-18T19:02:44+02:00
The more routine our lives become, the more important it is to have things we are passionate about. It keeps us from going insane.

Funny(1)
1591
Comment by Anonymous

Another lonely IRL poster...you can tell.

Posted 2012-05-08T23:18:25+02:00
Happiness can't buy you money.

Get a Life(4)
15222
Comment by Anonymous

stupid

Comment by Anonymous

I'd rather be happy than rich.

Posted by Leah6666 2012-05-08T15:28:44+02:00
They have security settings on facebook. Now all they need is an insecurity setting and you'll be all set.

Funny(3)
15112
Comment by Anonymous

Right....because men are always sooooo secure.... pshhhhh

Comment by Anonymous

Or just be born female....

Posted 2012-05-04T15:57:31+02:00
Sometimes I feel as though my life should be documented for future generations.

Funny(3)
1571
Comment by Anonymous

Hey I wrote this :)

Posted 2012-05-09T06:40:22+02:00
I want a Times New Roman on the streets but a Wingdings in the sheets

Fail(3)
15380
Posted by Planet 2012-05-12T01:10:09+02:00
Got up on the wrong side of the bed today. Not figuratively, literally. Almost fell out the window.

Epic(1)
15110
Posted by Planet 2012-05-12T01:10:59+02:00
Just read where the creator of Red Bull died. It was the first time anyone saw him sleep.

Get a Life(1)
15233
Comment by Anonymous

yeah i hear red bull gives you wings...

Comment by Anonymous

I posted this a month ago....

Comment by Anonymous

Yeah and you're like a month and a half behind, douchebag.

Posted by Suthernfukr 2012-05-23T16:23:00+02:00
I replied to your event invites with "maybe" because there wasn't a box for "I haven't seen you since high school, leave me alone."

Epic(1)
1561
Comment by Anonymous

wow...you are on a roll. all your "status's are from another site, written by other people. There are those of use out there who can read, you know....AND who read other status sites - just like YOU do.

Posted 2012-06-18T17:05:31+02:00
Love is not blind, it sees but it does not mind.

Epic(4)
1580
Posted by Leah6666 2012-05-16T15:17:01+02:00
I'll never forget the first time we met -- although, I'll keep trying.

Funny(2)
15100
Posted 2012-05-17T12:11:36+02:00
If I'd known our TV viewing habits were so incompatible, I never would have let things go so far.

Funny(1)
1580
Posted by Suthernfukr 2012-05-23T16:14:00+02:00
Note to self: Don't taunt the neighbor's bull dog while wearing flip flops.

Funny(1)
1540
Posted by Cranberry 2012-07-05T17:24:52+02:00
Throwing a lamp at someone who needs to lighten up

Funny(4)
15151
Comment by Anonymous

Sike xD

Posted 2012-05-21T00:19:18+02:00
I pride myself on being witty, humble and totally awesome.

-1(0)
15131
Comment by Anonymous

Go sit in the corner, RuPaul!

Posted 2012-05-21T17:32:24+02:00
Clothes are for people with something to hide.

Funny(1)
15180
Posted 2012-06-06T13:55:46+02:00
Don't get married bro, just find someone you really hate.. And buy her a house..

Fail(2)
15231
Comment by Anonymous

Lewis Grizzard said that originally. He was a funny man!

Posted by Suthernfukr 2012-05-31T15:59:40+02:00
I don't get these "my body is a temple" people. I prefer to think of mine as a "bar & grill."

Funny(2)
15223
Comment by Anonymous

Think again..

Comment by Leah6666

Im glad he/she gave you a self-esteem boost today!!!!!!

Comment by Anonymous

Guy that copy and pasted my comment all the other statuses your awesome!!!

Posted 2012-06-01T17:42:23+02:00
There's nothing worse than wanting a drink because the world sucks, but you can't because you have to be up early to do stuff that sucks.

Funny(2)
15100
Posted 2012-06-01T17:51:19+02:00
Ignorance isn't bliss when it's someone else's.

Funny(1)
1520
Posted 2012-06-15T03:22:41+02:00
Your problems are like your panties. I don't have time to deal with either, so let's just push them both to the side and have some fun.

Epic(2)
15220
« First < Previous 741 742 743 744 745 746 747 748 Next > Last »

Total Number of Statuses:20463

Status Stalker Login

Want to post a funny status? Well login isn't required but if you register and login you will have access to all the extra features status stalker has to offer.
Username:
Password:
Forgot Password?

More Funny Statuses

Stalker Map

Facebook Addict Intervention Parody

Home About Us FAQs Terms & Conditions Privacy Policy Advertise/Contact Us © Status Stalker 2011, All Rights Reserved.