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Posted 2011-09-08T08:39:40+02:00
Remember ladies, the knight with the shiniest armour has done the least amount of brave or cool shit.

Funny(5)
Posted 2011-02-10T03:36:38+01:00
not sure about you, but when someone tells me I look familiar, I immediately start to panic.

Funny(6)
Posted 2011-09-03T11:36:46+02:00
The awkward moment when a zombie is looking for brains and walks straight past you.

Funny(5)
Posted 2011-02-04T19:20:43+01:00
I miss being the age when I thought I would have my shit together by the time I was the age I am now.

Funny(7)
Posted by Esoteric 2011-01-18T02:23:20+01:00
OMG!!! Jersey Shore is on tonight. I can't wait................................To find something Else to watch immediately.

Funny(8)
Posted 2011-11-02T16:18:29+01:00
Sleep is my drug, my bed is my dealer, and my alarm clock is the police.

Epic(9)
Posted 2010-11-25T05:00:34+01:00
Women are like police, they can have all the evidence in the world but they still want a confession

Epic(11)
Posted 2011-08-03T18:28:10+02:00
Why haven't they proved/disproved the myth "Once you go black you never go back" on Myth Busters?

Funny(5)
Comment by Anonymous

I read alllll about this. There are plent of other races with bigger dicks than the blacks. They can be dlightly bigger, but they aren't always

Comment by Anonymous

Cause then your on welfare!! LMAO

Comment by The Bomb

Woah, stop the hate, shit.

Comment by Anonymous

To the second commenter...you ignorant racist fuck: it's actually, They went black because of what you obviously lack. In addition to other areas, you're also small minded...and size IS in fact everything. Loser.

Comment by Anonymous

once you see what a black man has in his pants then you'll be running back!

Comment by Anonymous

If it's white, it's alright. If its black, send it back!

Comment by Anonymous

I thought it was "once you go black, we don't want you back"?

Comment by Bconno

Because it's not a myth!

Posted 2010-11-03T01:17:00+01:00
I wish relationships were more like cell phone plans - "Free nights and weekends"

Funny(12)
Posted 2010-10-29T18:31:32+02:00
If nothing lasts forever, will you be my nothing?

Epic(13)
Comment by Anonymous

awww... that is so cute.. <3

Comment by Anonymous

CORNEYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

Comment by Anonymous

oh while! anonymous u r so dum

Posted 2010-11-05T01:59:53+01:00
I'm wearing that smile you gave me.

Epic(6)
Posted 2011-09-19T11:06:52+02:00
I saw a baby wearing a bib that said, "This dumbass put my cape on backwards"

Epic(4)
Posted by Try2stopme 2013-10-22T03:22:20+02:00
Leave the past behind. Smile every day. Never wear underwear. I don't know. Inspirational statuses are hard.

Epic(8)
Comment by Anonymous

Apparently, so are funny ones...

Posted 2013-09-13T22:01:11+02:00
All I'm saying is that Miley Cyrus was on the Disney Channel and had her clothes on when Bush was president. Thanks, Obama.

Epic(12)
Comment by Anonymous

oh the sarcasm people are taking literally...

Comment by Anonymous

OBAMANATION!!!

Comment by Anonymous

V like Obozo stole the election.

Comment by Anonymous

you stole this.

Posted 2013-05-17T18:36:24+02:00
Dating sites should have a section for people to leave a review for the person they went out with.

Epic(5)
Comment by Anonymous

I'm sorry...how is that a problem again?

Comment by Anonymous

The only problem is that if you're dating that many ppl to have lots of reviews, it just proves that you're a whore and/or you suck at relationships. And the system is flawed because your exes tend to not have good things to say about u

Comment by Anonymous

some of them do have that, well I guess it depends no the (cough cough) nevermind

Posted 2013-05-01T02:43:34+02:00
My generation's zombies didn't run. They walked. Uphill. In the snow. They ate what brains they could find and they liked it.

Epic(6)
Comment by Anonymous

More than a few zombie movies had zombies that ran dingleberry

Comment by Anonymous

Only gamers will get this.

Comment by Anonymous

You guys are dumb. There are obviously movies and video games with zombies that run. This post is legitimate.

Comment by Anonymous

zombies don't run, numb nuts

Comment by Anonymous

I dont get it!!!

Posted 2013-04-16T02:41:38+02:00
Found a bag of marijuana at work last week, and like any responsible employee, I disposed of it. In a series of small fires

Funny(3)
Posted by Try2stopme 2013-04-18T05:27:12+02:00
When my wife picks a restaraunt that I don't like, I just say "oh yeah, that's where that really cute girl works". Problem solved.

Epic(5)
Comment by Anonymous

The girls I've been with all check each other out more than I do... they got nothing to talk to me about.

Comment by Anonymous

That's a terrible thing to do to your wife....make her think you're always checking out other girls. She'll just end up leaving your ass

Comment by Anonymous

Nope, because then she's gna kill you...so you go nowhere

Posted 2013-02-22T06:06:39+01:00
Who's more irrational? Somebody who believes in a God they don't see, or a person who is a offended by a God they don't even believe in?

Epic(6)
Comment by Anonymous

Life starting from absolutely nothing....now thats Faith!!! Everything on this planet that is made, had a maker! Why is it so hard to believe that LIFE had help?

Comment by Anonymous

Your make believe God interferes with people's lives

Comment by Anonymous

v Love, courage, nobility, and honor. Four ideas that couldn't possibly exist in matter. Think about Helen Keller. She wrote 12 books and was born blind in deaf. Right, and there is no God.

Comment by Anonymous

First comment wins. Anyway- it is not a "God they don't see," it is "God that doesn't exist."

Comment by Anonymous

Yeah..... you non believers are always just a joy to deal with!!

Comment by Anonymous

they arent offended by the god-they are annoyed with the idiots who follow him

Posted by Leah6666 2013-01-26T15:55:32+01:00
Joined the Christian Mingle dating site today... Going through the profiles and asking myself, "Who would Jesus do?"

Funny(6)
Comment by Anonymous

omg!!!!!!!!! freakin' funny! love this....

Comment by Anonymous

Funniest post ever!!!!!!!

Comment by Anonymous

haha! best status here in a long time!


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