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Posted 2012-12-31T04:59:18+01:00
What's black and never works? Decaffeinated coffee you racist bastards!

Funny(4)
Posted 2012-12-20T15:39:57+01:00
Hi guys. Good news! It's the 21st and the world hasn't ended. Love, Australia.

Epic(3)
Comment by Anonymous

I just picked my nose! Want to see it?

Comment by Anonymous

and don't you forget it!! bitch!

Comment by Anonymous

Woah...You guys are super serious about these repost....

Comment by Anonymous

the world should have ended 7 mounths ago because the myans predicted the end of the world before cezar invented the leap year

Comment by Anonymous

Now that brings up a mighty fine question. World ends on the 21st ... What time zone? Lol

Comment by Anonymous

Wow, someones vagina is aching this morning....You know, there have been hundreds of end of the world predictions and none of them have come true? (Obviously). What makes you think this one is any different?

Comment by Anonymous

Mayan Calendar Countdown The Mayan Calendar finishes one of its great circles in December 2012. Some believe this is a sign of the End of the World. In Melbourne this happens on Friday, December 21, 2012 at 10:11:00 PM. Countdown to Mayan Calendar "World End" in Melbourne A little early ya f**k! Come back and repost later

Posted 2012-12-31T15:39:00+01:00
Kanye West must feel very conflicted right now. He's excited Kim is pregnant, but deep down he knows Beyonce had the best baby of all time.

Funny(8)
Posted 2012-12-06T02:32:55+01:00
Failed another job interview today. Apparently taking part in an orgy isn't proof that you can effectively work as part of a team.

Epic(10)
Posted by Michimaux 2012-11-20T23:52:02+01:00
If men saw the crazy positions women get into to shave our legs they would demand kinkier sex.

Funny(8)
Comment by Anonymous

this is a winner by the way........or.....for men to post.......I've seem some of the crazy positions you women get into to shave your legs......Men, we should be demanding kinkier sex!

Posted 2012-10-14T21:09:04+02:00
Please copy and paste this to your status if you're constantly being asked to copy and paste things to your status by friends who copy and paste things to their status. Many people won't copy and paste this, but my truly sarcastic friends will copy and paste it, because they know this was copied and pasted from a dear friend in need of more stuff to copy and paste. And if you don't copy and paste it, then this means you hate puppies and bacon. And if you hate bacon, the terrorists win.

Epic(10)
Comment by Anonymous

this is the best status ive seen in a long time!!! EAT BACON OR THE TERROEISTS WIN!!!

Posted by Cranberry 2012-09-23T16:50:10+02:00
If I had a dollar for every time I thought about you, I would start thinking about you.

Funny(3)
Posted 2012-08-26T10:20:23+02:00
When I see a cute couple making out I yell, " I knew you're seeing somebody else!" and run crying.

Funny(7)
Comment by Anonymous

V I knew you would see my spelling error! *pounds keys and sobs*

Comment by Anonymous

It would be "I knew you were seeing somebody else!" Not i knew you're seeing

Posted 2012-06-13T08:43:41+02:00
I have Big Boobs, I am amazing at Call of Duty, and I can make a really good sandwich, Unfortunately I am a guy...

Funny(6)
Comment by Anonymous

HAVENT HEARD THIS ONE BEFORE>............................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................

Comment by Anonymous

New to me and it's FUNNY!

Comment by Anonymous

VVVVVvvvvv its called "status stalker" dumbass....there are going to be old statuses idiot....dont get mad cause the status you posted got thumbed down you prick !

Comment by Anonymous

You have gyno? Ew.... gross.

Posted 2012-05-23T23:44:26+02:00
My first trip in a time machine would be to stop O.J. Simpson from killing those people, then the world would be spared from knowing the Kardashians

Funny(4)
Comment by Anonymous

Right! Her sex tape would not have meant shit if her dad wasn't well knowb because of OJ

Comment by Anonymous

No, they got famous because their Dad was an attorney in the OJ trial....her sex tape was years after that

Comment by Contentual

kardashians got famous from kim's sex tape

Comment by Anonymous

Then if you could somehow make sure the Hilton's aren't known either, that would be great. Actually, the Jersey Shore people should be #2 on the list.

Posted 2012-04-23T05:36:02+02:00
The first five days after the weekend are always the toughest.

Funny(4)
Comment by Anonymous

No shit shirlock

Comment by Anonymous

Branden conny is a unoriginal bastered!

Posted 2012-04-25T22:56:31+02:00
It's almost that time of year to find out what your friends with swimming pools have been up to since last summer.

Funny(4)
Comment by Anonymous

Shoot... I live in Florida. I've already been over to that friend's house 4-5 times!

Posted 2012-04-18T03:13:10+02:00
I stand right next to the "God Hates Fags" guy with a sign that says "Please Ignore My Ex-Boyfriend"

Funny(7)
Comment by Anonymous

LOL I love this one! If WBC was around me I would have a guy friend make a sign like this <3

Comment by Anonymous

i don't get it

Comment by Anonymous

Yea a butt pirate would write some dumb shit like this

Comment by Anonymous

This deserves a billion likes! genius is what you are!

Posted by Zealot 2012-01-29T20:44:22+01:00
May the bridges I burn light the way.

Funny(5)
Posted 2011-11-29T13:42:44+01:00
Give a man a gun and he can rob a bank, give a man a bank and he can rob the world.

Win(2)
Posted 2011-06-15T08:49:35+02:00
The best way to win an argument is to play dead.

Funny(5)
Posted 2011-05-24T08:28:46+02:00
If Oprah doesn't sing during her last episode, I won't believe it's over.

Funny(4)
Posted 2011-09-21T10:49:13+02:00
I think if my rich neighbor realized just how awesome of a party he is going to have at his house tonight, he wouldn't leave for vacation.

Epic(6)
Posted 2011-05-02T06:45:56+02:00
On a scale of 1 to Osama Bin Laden how good was my hiding spot?

Epic(6)
Comment by Anonymous

i'd have to say brittany spears after she shaved her head - Polgin

Comment by Anonymous

LOL.... this made me laugh super hard.

Posted 2011-06-26T05:08:50+02:00
what if the light we see at the end of the tunnel when we die is really us just being pushed out of the womb into our next life

Epic(11)

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