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Posted 2011-02-22T01:23:56+01:00
Love when you're ready, not when you're lonely.

Win(5)
Posted 2011-03-12T16:45:49+01:00
I am not defined by my past. I am prepared by it.

Epic(10)
Posted 2010-12-14T16:00:05+01:00
If you're one of those people who think the world is going to end in 2012, please send me all your stuff

Funny(9)
Posted 2010-10-31T06:19:51+01:00
Getting drunk and high fiving strangers is what Jesus would do.

Epic(10)
Comment by Anonymous

Don't freakin tie in Jesus with jokes

Comment by Anonymous

Ahhh....No Jesus didn't drink. He drank New Wine which is like our grape juice. All wine refereed to was grape juice. Bad wine was the juice that was left in the bottom of the vat with the sludge and undesirable left overs. Yeah...never a good idea to joke about Jesus which what you stated is some what blasphemous. I hope you read this and pray for forgiveness, no need to go to hell just trying to be funny.

Comment by Anonymous

stupid joke.. for real..get a life

Comment by Anonymous

Some people have no sense of humor. If you can't take a joke than find another site.

Comment by Anonymous

wooow some people need to relax its a joke you tards.. also Jesus did drink and high five strangers...

Comment by Yessilol

Don't joke about Jesus! He was perfect unlike you. Ignorant drunk!

Comment by Anonymous

Hahahahahah! Hilarious!

Comment by Anonymous

f**kin epic .

Comment by Anonymous

NO....HE WOULDN'T!!!! GET A LIFE FREAK!!

Comment by Anonymous

Dude that's messed up

Comment by Anonymous

Calm down sparky.

Comment by Anonymous

Asshole. Jesus was a great man!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted 2010-10-26T04:05:02+02:00
Some people are meant to be in love with each other...but not meant to be together.

Win(6)
Posted 2010-10-20T05:22:14+02:00
I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three.

Funny(6)
Posted by Suckit 2010-10-11T03:13:44+02:00
Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.

Funny(10)
Comment by Anonymous

thats messed up.. lol

Comment by Anonymous

Did you hear about the guy who's whole right side got cut off? It's okay, there's still half of him left. Boom.

Comment by Anonymous

wah wah wah waaaaaaaaaaah

Posted 2010-10-04T18:12:09+02:00
We have all experienced the pain of watching a slow typer.

Funny(9)
Posted 2014-01-20T23:08:35+01:00
Walmart...because going to Target requires identity theft protection and a shower.

Funny(7)
Comment by Anonymous

So the Db stands for Douche bag?

Comment by Db

I'm rich, people shop for me.

Comment by Anonymous

V "high class" target shopper.

Comment by Anonymous

Target is awesome! Sure beats standing in line behind every illiterate fat fuckin smelly ass at Walmart. Nothing but welfare check collecting fat fuck trailer park pieces of shit. Walmart is pure fucking shit. One day it will close down.

Comment by Anonymous

Target is fuckin' gay.

Posted 2013-12-04T02:42:55+01:00
My girlfriend wants to get married. I hope she finds someone nice.

Funny(7)
Comment by Anonymous

lol you are the coolest kind of asshole

Comment by Anonymous

You don't deserve a girlfriend

Posted 2013-05-28T16:05:35+02:00
You have tattoos. I have scars. Yours are what you wanted to show the world. Mine are what the world decided to show me.

Win(11)
Comment by Anonymous

you can tattoo over scar. Im in process of covering a huge scar.

Comment by Anonymous

Guess this means 66 people are gay, right???? Yeesh.

Comment by Anonymous

Commenter #4, "abusing people," really??? Grow the fuck up, you fuckin' twat.

Comment by Anonymous

bitch suck it up you're just jealous that my tattoos look better than your scars. you know you can get tattoos over scars right? so shut your whoregina mouth

Comment by Anonymous

Given you're abusing people, probably over compensating I'd say your cock's tiny and it's been awhile since it's been sucked. You and your hand again tonight mate!

Comment by Anonymous

It's turned into "Emo Stalker." Suck my fuckin' cock, commenter #2.

Comment by Anonymous

It's called "status stalker" not "funny statuses" it doesn't have to be funny. It's a little morbid yeah but no one ever said they'd to post funny statuses.

Comment by Anonymous

.........and this is funny, how?

Posted 2013-03-26T16:00:41+01:00
The funny thing about Athiest ... they always seem to be talking about God.

Get a Life(5)
Comment by Anonymous

I'd rather live a life believing there is a God and die finding out there isn't one than live a life not believing in God and die finding out he exists. You'll be the ones with the short end of the stick in the end.

Comment by Anonymous

Butthurt Atheist's Below vv

Comment by Anonymous

FACT; Religion has caused more misery to all of mankind in every stage of human history than any other single idea.

Comment by Anonymous

I know! It's all most like religion gets in the way of my rights ! Like I can't get married to my lover , my rights as a women keep getting heckled and I can just NOW serve openly as a gay marine after being in service for 5 years. Save it , thanks . Religion can take a fuckin hike

Comment by Anonymous

You're pathetic, loser.

Comment by Anonymous

atheists are pathetic

Comment by Anonymous

Personally I couldn't give a crap about what people believe in ... until they (religious organizations and churches) use their tax-exempt wealth to lobby for political change and attempt to legislatively impose their beliefs onto me. When that happens, they have my invitation to eat shit and die.

Comment by Anonymous

Telling an atheist to respect your fairy tale religion is like telling a black person to respect the KKK.

Comment by Anonymous

The funny thing about organized religions ... they constantly make up new rules that have nothing to do with the bible and while their trusted leaders rape little boys and get away with it.

Comment by Anonymous

Atheists are always mad in general. They mistaken their anger for "being honest" as opposed to acting like a fucking bitch constantly.

Comment by Anonymous

The funny thing about Religions ... they always seem to be at war with each other about their make belief gods

Comment by Anonymous

funny thing about SS com-mentors..there all stupid or gay or...well just stupid and gay is enough

Comment by Anonymous

Actually no...they're always talking about a lack of evidence/proof that there is a God

Comment by Anonymous

Funny thing about cops... they're always talking about crime.

Posted 2013-01-31T01:18:21+01:00
There's a reason why "sober" and "so bored" sound almost exactly the same

Epic(4)
Posted 2013-01-17T21:57:16+01:00
It's 24 degrees here today. I just keyed someone's car with my nipples.

Funny(8)
Posted 2012-09-18T23:57:35+02:00
When NASA first started sending up astronauts, they quickly discovered that ballpoint pens would not work in zero gravity. To combat the problem, NASA scientists spent a decade and $12 Billion to develop a pen that writes in zero gravity, upside down, underwater, on almost any surface including glass and at temperatures ranging from below freezing to 300C. The Russians used a pencil.

Funny(7)
Comment by Anonymous

Question everything. Remember that, ladies and gents.

Comment by Anonymous

To the comment two below mine.. no problem, glad to help!

Comment by Anonymous

This is actually really really interesting. Thank you!

Comment by Anonymous

Lol we would be less in debt without NASA. What wealth has it created?

Comment by Anonymous

This isn't true, however. Very funny, but not true. Russian cosmonauts used pencils, and grease pencils on plastic slates until also adopting a space pen in 1969 with a purchase of 100 units for use on all future missions.[1] NASA programs previously used pencils (for example a 1965 order of mechanical pencils but because of the substantial dangers that broken-off pencil tips and graphite dust pose in zero gravity to electronics and the flammable nature of the wood present in pencils[2] a better solution was needed. NASA never approached Paul Fisher to develop a pen, nor did Fisher receive any government funding for the pen's development. Fisher invented it independently, and then asked NASA to try it. After the introduction of the AG7 Space Pen, both the American and Soviet (later Russian) space agencies adopted it.

Comment by Anonymous

Lets see where our country would be w/o NASA asshole

Comment by Anonymous

Our tax dollars at their finest use...

Posted 2012-06-17T05:50:42+02:00
Dear dad, thanks for not pulling out. Happy Father's Day!

Epic(6)
Posted 2012-06-29T19:40:15+02:00
When you're a kid, you hate those moments when there is absolutely nothing to do. As an adult, you live for them.

Funny(14)
Posted by Suthernfukr 2012-06-28T15:00:18+02:00
My boss texted me, "Send me one of your funny jokes." I replied, "I'm working at the moment, I will send you one later." He replied, "That was fantastic, send me another one."

Epic(7)
Posted 2012-04-12T20:52:21+02:00
Tell someone you love them today, because life is short. But SHOUT it at them in German, because life is also terrifying and confusing.

Funny(10)
Comment by Anonymous

ICH LIEBE DICH!!!! Yeah, that would be kinda terrifying. : )

Posted by Planet 2012-05-10T20:19:46+02:00
If someone says "This place is crackalackin!", does that mean it's lacking white people?

Funny(6)
Comment by Anonymous

Hey, mom, do we have any crackers? No...we're crackalackin!


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