Posted 2011-04-10T04:44:26+02:00
I changed the name of my hard drive to 'that thang,' so once a month, my computer asks me if I wanna back that that thang up

Comment by Anonymous

"You wanna back that thang up or should I push upon it?"

Posted 2011-09-08T08:39:40+02:00
Remember ladies, the knight with the shiniest armour has done the least amount of brave or cool shit.

Posted by Tchangles 2011-03-05T07:10:57+01:00
Cops sent me a picture of me speeding through a red light so I sent them a picture of a check. Hope we're even

Comment by Anonymous

saw this on twiter

Comment by Anonymous

u shoulda sent them a picture of donuts to make it even...

Comment by Anonymous

anonymous--- that is really stupid sorry :D

Comment by Anonymous

thts so funny "they sent u handcuffs back

Comment by Anonymous

Let me guess, they sent you back a picture of handcuffs???

Posted 2011-02-10T03:36:38+01:00
not sure about you, but when someone tells me I look familiar, I immediately start to panic.

Posted 2011-09-03T11:36:46+02:00
The awkward moment when a zombie is looking for brains and walks straight past you.

Posted 2011-02-04T19:20:43+01:00
I miss being the age when I thought I would have my shit together by the time I was the age I am now.

Posted by Esoteric 2011-01-18T02:23:20+01:00
OMG!!! Jersey Shore is on tonight. I can't wait................................To find something Else to watch immediately.

Posted 2011-11-02T16:18:29+01:00
Sleep is my drug, my bed is my dealer, and my alarm clock is the police.

Posted 2010-11-25T05:00:34+01:00
Women are like police, they can have all the evidence in the world but they still want a confession

Posted 2010-11-18T03:52:31+01:00
Just once I'd like to learn something the easy way.

Posted 2011-08-03T18:28:10+02:00
Why haven't they proved/disproved the myth "Once you go black you never go back" on Myth Busters?

Comment by Anonymous

I read alllll about this. There are plent of other races with bigger dicks than the blacks. They can be dlightly bigger, but they aren't always

Comment by Anonymous

Cause then your on welfare!! LMAO

Comment by The Bomb

Woah, stop the hate, shit.

Comment by Anonymous

To the second ignorant racist fuck: it's actually, They went black because of what you obviously lack. In addition to other areas, you're also small minded...and size IS in fact everything. Loser.

Comment by Anonymous

once you see what a black man has in his pants then you'll be running back!

Comment by Anonymous

If it's white, it's alright. If its black, send it back!

Comment by Anonymous

I thought it was "once you go black, we don't want you back"?

Comment by Bconno

Because it's not a myth!

Posted 2010-11-03T01:17:00+01:00
I wish relationships were more like cell phone plans - "Free nights and weekends"

Posted 2010-10-29T18:31:32+02:00
If nothing lasts forever, will you be my nothing?

Comment by Anonymous

awww... that is so cute.. <3

Comment by Anonymous


Comment by Anonymous

oh while! anonymous u r so dum

Posted 2010-11-05T01:59:53+01:00
I'm wearing that smile you gave me.

Posted 2011-11-03T18:23:17+01:00
So if guns kill people, I suppose pencils misspell words, Cars drive drunk, And spoons make people fat.

Comment by Anonymous

commenter below is the only one who actually followed along. :P

Comment by Anonymous

nope just guns.

Comment by Anonymous

wayyyyyyy old!

Comment by Anonymous

well is it old cuz I don't want to fake a status that's old

Comment by Anonymous

This isn't old or anything.

Posted by Try2stopme 2013-10-22T03:22:20+02:00
Leave the past behind. Smile every day. Never wear underwear. I don't know. Inspirational statuses are hard.

Comment by Anonymous

Apparently, so are funny ones...

Posted 2013-09-13T22:01:11+02:00
All I'm saying is that Miley Cyrus was on the Disney Channel and had her clothes on when Bush was president. Thanks, Obama.

Comment by Anonymous

oh the sarcasm people are taking literally...

Comment by Anonymous


Comment by Anonymous

V like Obozo stole the election.

Comment by Anonymous

you stole this.

Posted 2013-05-17T18:36:24+02:00
Dating sites should have a section for people to leave a review for the person they went out with.

Comment by Anonymous

I'm is that a problem again?

Comment by Anonymous

The only problem is that if you're dating that many ppl to have lots of reviews, it just proves that you're a whore and/or you suck at relationships. And the system is flawed because your exes tend to not have good things to say about u

Comment by Anonymous

some of them do have that, well I guess it depends no the (cough cough) nevermind

Posted 2013-04-16T02:41:38+02:00
Found a bag of marijuana at work last week, and like any responsible employee, I disposed of it. In a series of small fires

Posted by Try2stopme 2013-04-18T05:27:12+02:00
When my wife picks a restaraunt that I don't like, I just say "oh yeah, that's where that really cute girl works". Problem solved.

Comment by Anonymous

The girls I've been with all check each other out more than I do... they got nothing to talk to me about.

Comment by Anonymous

That's a terrible thing to do to your wife....make her think you're always checking out other girls. She'll just end up leaving your ass

Comment by Anonymous

Nope, because then she's gna kill you go nowhere

Total Number of Statuses:25035

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