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Posted 2011-01-16T15:48:21-07:00
Screw getting an alarm system. I’ve seen Home Alone, I know what to do.

Funny(8)
Posted 2010-11-02T11:06:30-06:00
I'm afraid people can see me through my web cam even though its off.

Funny(8)
Comment by Anonymous

yup...nice purple shirt and hat with a lot of pins and shiny things on it.

Comment by Anonymous

webcams actually can be hacked into even if you have them off

Comment by Anonymous

ha ha ha, i turn mine to face the wall

Comment by Anonymous

I know! that's why I cover mine with a piece of paper

Posted 2011-07-20T16:12:29-06:00
When the shuttle gets back from its final mission, it would be hilarious if we were all dressed up as apes.

Funny(8)
80911
Comment by Anonymous

Haaaa ha! Guess you're just a "looser" then huh? Soooo...They're a grammar Nazi...but you aren't a prick for making a smart ass comment about their pastor being a friend? Cmon, You know you're friends with your mom and 5 th grade teacher on FB. Apparently, it wasn't the one who taught you English!

Comment by Anonymous

Hypocritical grammar Nazis FTW.

Comment by Despin

lmao!!!! If you're going to criticize, make sure you're perfect first.....

Comment by Anonymous

VVV loser for spelling "loser" wrong

Comment by Anonymous

VVV looser for having pastor on his fb

Comment by Anonymous

I reposted this and even my Pastor clicked "like".... now that's some funny shit.

Comment by Anonymous

Saw it before but still funny

Posted 2010-10-02T11:22:45-06:00
I'm so glad McDonalds doesn't sell Hot Dogs...can't imagine ordering a "McWeiner" and don't get me started on "super size"

Funny(11)
Comment by Anonymous

Some Do sell hot dogs.

Posted 2014-09-30T14:37:19-06:00
It's kind of funny how so many people think that being gay is a choice but being fat isn't

Win(5)
Comment by Anonymous

90% haha so you're telling me 9/10 men are gay. GTFO! I have no problem with men or woman who admit they're gay but to throw out a bullshit fact like being gay is an activity that you do in your free time just makes it sound more like a choice. Being gay is honestly a product of you're childhood. And bi-sexual prove even more that it's a choice but they are bi cause it immediately doubles your chances of a date Friday night. I hate people like you, not homosexuals, but people who boast about their sexuality and rip on people who don't agree with it. You don't like it when strong Christians judge you for your views so why judge them for their views. No one is born gay you start to develop that choice in your youth but you're too young to remember all the build up to your choice when you're an adult. Who cares if its a choice, people make the choice to do drugs and murder people it's not like they try to defend it by saying they were born that way. Bad examples I don't think being gay is the same as killing people. But we as humans need to understand we have the ability to choose what we do with our lives. And one of my choices is choosing to be ok and accept the fact that people choose to be gay. We all make choices that not everyone agrees with but if that choice is what makes you happy do it

Comment by Anonymous

Gay faggot bitch

Comment by Anonymous

Maybe that other guy that bragged on about gay men should get his facts straight.... oh wait he cant can he?

Comment by Anonymous

V Since you asked, it would be much better without you.

Comment by Anonymous

Ya ok, we choose to be gay. What a fuckin dumb statement from small minded people! Now, being gay, I think I will go out and fuck all your daughters and get them pregnant and ruin about 10 families all at the same time. There's an underground world where married men go to meet other men to have sexual gratification, then return to their families as if nothing happened. I hope you wives are keeping this in the back of your mind when your husband says he's going to shoot a round of golf with "his buddies" or he's stopping at Homo Depot to pick up a few things. Wake up ladies!! In my experience, 10% of men have the balls to come out of the closet and live life as a gay person. About 90% of all men have had sex with their own gender, and enjoyed it enough to do it again. THere are a small percentage that will never act on their desires because of the fear of stigma. Be honest with yourselves guys! Don't ruin families just to hide your desires. Now, for people who wanna bash what i say, I hope your child grows up to be a drag queen or a tranny!! Then you'll feel the stigma.. hahahahaha.. I am gay, but never did i wake up and say "Hmmm, what do i want to choose, gay or straight?" Most of your "straight" living men I'm sure didn't wake up with the same question. So this leaves one logical reason for people being gay. THEY WERE BORN THAT WAY AND HAD THE BALLS TO COME OUT OF THE CLOSET! Unlike pussy guys who get married to women and have sex with men on the side and ruin families. Which would you rather have?

Comment by Anonymous

Nobody forces that fork into your mouth, you fat f**k.

Comment by Anonymous

Well....they both happen because you are puttig things in your mouth that don't belong there!!

Comment by Anonymous

V Not at all, I am an extremely annoying person to low IQ fat f**ks like you but normal people like me.

Comment by Anonymous

V I bet that you are an extremely annoying person that nobody like to be around

Comment by Anonymous

Sounds like you are judging some people that you call assholes. Guess it takes one to call one out. And you are wrong there are some people with personality disorders who were born assholes. You may now go back to your huge fast food order with the DIET drink and try and cope with your non choice fat ass.

Comment by Anonymous

being fat isn't always a choice. Being a judgmental asshole always is.

Comment by Anonymous

V He's not fat, he's big boned.

Comment by Anonymous

V Put the book and the fork down and run, fat ass.

Comment by Anonymous

read a book before you write some dumb shit like that clown.

Comment by Anonymous

Clearly they both are, and both are bad choices for the human race.

Posted 2013-10-08T11:13:29-06:00
Republicans are red, Democrats are blue. The government is shut down cause neither one gives a damn about you.

Win(10)
Comment by Anonymous

people have been voting democrat for 50 years....and they are still poor.

Comment by Anonymous

v Still smarter than the retard who posted that nonsensical shit.

Comment by Anonymous

Haha awe America ca f**king idiots.

Comment by Anonymous

Republicans are corrupt. The democrats are corrupt. It's all fucked up.

Comment by Anonymous

This just in: Obama closes war memorials to veterans because "there's not enough money" to keep them open during the government shut down. Morons everywhere take his word for it while failing to realize that it costs twice as much to pay the armed guards to keep veterans out than it does to keep the memorial open.

Comment by Anonymous

I wish Liberals would do their research... It's the Demoncats that have never cared about the people.

Posted by Try2stopme 2013-10-21T19:22:20-06:00
Leave the past behind. Smile every day. Never wear underwear. I don't know. Inspirational statuses are hard.

Epic(8)
Comment by Anonymous

Apparently, so are funny ones...

Posted by Mrmckeehan 2013-07-10T11:22:38-06:00
It doesn't matter how many bible verses you post on here, nobody has forgot how big of a slut you were in high school.

Funny(4)
Comment by Anonymous

Old and grammar correction ignorant

Comment by Db

Your MOM is OLD.

Posted 2013-05-01T19:44:26-06:00
Homophobes, I totally get why you think gays will wanna fuck you. Your ugly, bigoted ignorance makes you utterly irresistible.

Epic(10)
Comment by Anonymous

Smell your own ass! ha. Pogue.

Comment by Anonymous

VV yeah....what he said VV

Comment by Anonymous

Why do all you gays insist that all straight people are homophobic? Your constant name calling and incessant belly aching about how bigoted everyone else but you is, makes me want to hate you more than your gayness does. Go home and do whatever the fuck you want, just leave the rest of us OUT of your fucking bedroom to-do list, please. It's nobody else's business but yours, and we frankly don't want to hear about it. And one other thing: a difference of opinion (or as you might say, "a different lifestyle choice") is NOT bigotry. Calling majority straight people ugly names when you don't even know them is not only rude, but also ignorant, and a raw disservice to polite gays the world over. Now stand down, little one-eyed soldier. Stand down.

Comment by Anonymous

*You're. And can you save the gay shit for your Facebook page, please? This is supposed to be a place for jokes, not a place to push your gay agenda. If you're a chick and want to munch another girl's carpet or a dude who wants to sword fight with another dude, it's none of my business...You don't see me posting every day about how I'm up to my neck in good pussy, do you?

Comment by Anonymous

You think we think this about you? That makes you narcissistic. There is about 99.999 chance we aren't thinking of you at all.

Comment by Anonymous

this is the dunbest post i have ever seen on here!

Comment by Anonymous

love and so true....heard it all before.....wtf ever makes straight people think we want them is ridiculous!!

Comment by Anonymous

Love doesn't have a gender, clearly name calling makes you awesome

Comment by Anonymous

^^Fudge packer^^

Comment by Anonymous

^^Rump Ranger^^

Comment by Anonymous

^^ Butt Pirate^^!!!!

Posted by Leah6666 2013-01-26T07:55:32-07:00
Joined the Christian Mingle dating site today... Going through the profiles and asking myself, "Who would Jesus do?"

Funny(7)
Comment by Anonymous

omg!!!!!!!!! freakin' funny! love this....

Comment by Anonymous

Funniest post ever!!!!!!!

Comment by Anonymous

haha! best status here in a long time!

Posted by Leah6666 2013-01-05T13:02:24-07:00
The tattoos in your shirtless profile pic scream 'bad boy'. The flowered wallpaper behind you screams 'Still living with mom'

Funny(8)
Posted 2013-01-18T11:38:17-07:00
Lance Armstrong falls from grace and suddenly it's "ok" to make jokes about losing a testicle to cancer. Hope you jerks are having a ball.

Epic(3)
Comment by Anonymous

To the person talking about "high class," learn to spell "they're" before you insult somebody's class!

Comment by Anonymous

He shouldn't have cheated. One ball freak.

Comment by Anonymous

To the guy that said he's a nigger from the waist down...you basically just said your dick is small, smelly, and ashy. Way to go bro!

Comment by Anonymous

Must be some high class parties you go to if their dishing out brain cancer jokes

Comment by Anonymous

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!! Good one.

Comment by Anonymous

V take a bath...

Comment by Anonymous

ya, I'm a nigger from the waist down.

Comment by Anonymous

Hey, I'm Jewish from the waist down!

Comment by Mrmata26

What do you call a person who has OCD when it comes to being Cheap. A Jew! Well played.

Comment by Anonymous

1st commenter, does your vagina bleed nonstop?

Comment by Anonymous

Obviously you didn't get the joke, but I gues not everyone is that bright

Comment by Anonymous

Learn to lighten up and laugh a little. I'm a Jew and I find Jew jokes to be hilarious! I am OCD and I find OCD jokes hilarious. I have a relative who is a Brain Cancer survivor...and he finds Brain Cancer jokes hilarious.

Posted 2013-01-09T20:07:49-07:00
If I'm ever on life support unplug me and then plug me back in again and see if that works.

Epic(8)
Posted 2012-11-29T13:02:41-07:00
I just found a whip, a mask and handcuffs in my mom's bedroom. I can't believe it.. She's a superhero!

Epic(8)
Comment by Anonymous

I'm gonna need those back.

Comment by Anonymous

Put those back!! She needs them to fight the giant snake tonight.

Posted by Leah6666 2012-10-06T07:01:07-06:00
They say "confidence" is the most attractive quality in a partner. But I'd have to say, "not banging my friends" would be a very close 2nd.

Funny(5)
Comment by Anonymous

v ...You obviously are to young to be on here. Get off!

Comment by Anonymous

i dont get it :D sorry ... can someone explain

Posted 2012-04-12T12:52:21-06:00
Tell someone you love them today, because life is short. But SHOUT it at them in German, because life is also terrifying and confusing.

Funny(10)
Comment by Anonymous

ICH LIEBE DICH!!!! Yeah, that would be kinda terrifying. : )

Posted 2012-03-17T02:33:00-06:00
Live today like it's your last. But pay your bills and use a condom just in case it isn't.

Epic(6)
Posted 2011-05-13T13:07:27-06:00
When advertising your business on the side of your car it's a good idea not to drive like a complete asshole.

Epic(10)
Posted 2011-08-16T16:43:47-06:00
If a woman seems sensitive or cranky and you suspect she has her period, do you really think it's wise to ask her?

Funny(4)
Posted 2011-04-24T18:14:35-06:00
When I eat a chocolate bunny I bop it on the head 1st; to show respect to field mice that lost family in the little bunny foo foo massacre.

Epic(15)
Comment by Anonymous

That was awesome!

Comment by Anonymous

You should definitely consider buying a hefty gun and shooting yourself in the dombsky!!


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