Posted 2013-01-30T17:18:21-07:00
There's a reason why "sober" and "so bored" sound almost exactly the same

Posted 2013-01-17T13:57:16-07:00
It's 24 degrees here today. I just keyed someone's car with my nipples.

Posted by Michimaux 2012-11-06T13:50:28-07:00
Dear Mother-in-Law, Do not tell me how to handle my child, I am living with one of yours and he needs a lot of improvement.

Comment by Anonymous

Idk if its old but its craking me up!

Comment by Anonymous

very oldbut funny

Comment by Anonymous

I am a man....... and that's funny!!!!

Posted by Cranberry 2012-09-06T07:37:47-06:00
The best curve on a woman is her smile :) ...No I'm just kidding, it's her boobs.

Posted 2012-08-30T12:52:14-06:00
Jersey Shore just got cancelled. Clearly an act of God. Your move, atheists.

Comment by Anonymous

This is gold !!!

Comment by Anonymous

Idc who you are. this is f**king awesome

Comment by Anonymous

This was chatty chuck Norris

Posted by Suthernfukr 2012-06-28T07:00:18-06:00
My boss texted me, "Send me one of your funny jokes." I replied, "I'm working at the moment, I will send you one later." He replied, "That was fantastic, send me another one."

Posted by Menofwar 2012-06-06T08:07:00-06:00
I have come to the conclusion that the dryer lint is the cremated remains of all my missing socks.

Comment by Anonymous

It's actually from an episode of Family Guy, Peter Griffin said it.

Comment by Anonymous

funny, but i think a version of this was posted here 4-5 days ago.

Posted 2012-04-16T14:30:25-06:00
I wanna see a British person say the word knickers around a group of black people and see what happens.

Comment by Anonymous


Comment by Anonymous

Dont get your knickas all in a bunch

Comment by Anonymous

What's up ma Knicker!

Comment by Anonymous

Yo, yo...where my knickers at?

Comment by Contentual

ROFL ,,me too!

Posted 2012-02-16T11:19:33-07:00
Hate when I'm having a great day and someone speaks to me.

Posted 2011-11-21T15:59:37-07:00
Just sitting here enjoying a few chips with my bag of air.

Posted 2011-11-17T01:13:52-07:00
Can you die from constipation? I'm a little worried with how full of shit some people are.

Posted by Suthernfukr 2011-10-12T21:46:14-06:00
Some girls need to realize that having fat on their bodies doesn't make them fat - it makes them alive.

Comment by Anonymous

Eat right, exercise, die anyway...

Comment by Anonymous

To quote the person below me "Dear god, please oh please, will you rape my face and slip me the stinky pinky!"

Comment by Anonymous

meaning they are so thin fat keeps them ALIVE!

Comment by Anonymous

i dont get it

Posted 2011-05-02T12:00:35-06:00
My dad just gave me a toilet plunger as a house warming gift. Dads, they're always helpin you with shit :)

Posted 2011-03-20T17:58:38-06:00
Nothing can destroy your self-esteem quicker than when someone points out someone they think looks like you.

Posted 2011-03-01T16:28:45-07:00
Grandma complained that no one ever calls, so I put a "How's My Driving?" bumper sticker on her car...The phone pretty much rings off the hook now.

Comment by Anonymous

boo...old as grandma

Posted 2011-01-16T15:48:21-07:00
Screw getting an alarm system. I’ve seen Home Alone, I know what to do.

Posted 2010-11-02T11:06:30-06:00
I'm afraid people can see me through my web cam even though its off.

Comment by Anonymous

yup...nice purple shirt and hat with a lot of pins and shiny things on it.

Comment by Anonymous

webcams actually can be hacked into even if you have them off

Comment by Anonymous

ha ha ha, i turn mine to face the wall

Comment by Anonymous

I know! that's why I cover mine with a piece of paper

Posted 2011-07-20T16:12:29-06:00
When the shuttle gets back from its final mission, it would be hilarious if we were all dressed up as apes.

Comment by Anonymous

Haaaa ha! Guess you're just a "looser" then huh? Soooo...They're a grammar Nazi...but you aren't a prick for making a smart ass comment about their pastor being a friend? Cmon, You know you're friends with your mom and 5 th grade teacher on FB. Apparently, it wasn't the one who taught you English!

Comment by Anonymous

Hypocritical grammar Nazis FTW.

Comment by Despin

lmao!!!! If you're going to criticize, make sure you're perfect first.....

Comment by Anonymous

VVV loser for spelling "loser" wrong

Comment by Anonymous

VVV looser for having pastor on his fb

Comment by Anonymous

I reposted this and even my Pastor clicked "like".... now that's some funny shit.

Comment by Anonymous

Saw it before but still funny

Posted 2010-10-02T11:22:45-06:00
I'm so glad McDonalds doesn't sell Hot Dogs...can't imagine ordering a "McWeiner" and don't get me started on "super size"

Comment by Anonymous

Some Do sell hot dogs.

Posted 2010-04-05T11:06:43-06:00
My ex just sent me a photo of her having sex with her new boyfriend. I sent it to her Dad

Comment by Momofachevelle

thats freakin awsome =)

Comment by Anonymous

Thats freakin hilarous!!!!

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