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Posted 2012-10-14T21:09:04+02:00
Please copy and paste this to your status if you're constantly being asked to copy and paste things to your status by friends who copy and paste things to their status. Many people won't copy and paste this, but my truly sarcastic friends will copy and paste it, because they know this was copied and pasted from a dear friend in need of more stuff to copy and paste. And if you don't copy and paste it, then this means you hate puppies and bacon. And if you hate bacon, the terrorists win.

Epic(10)
Comment by Anonymous

this is the best status ive seen in a long time!!! EAT BACON OR THE TERROEISTS WIN!!!

Posted by Cranberry 2012-09-23T16:50:10+02:00
If I had a dollar for every time I thought about you, I would start thinking about you.

Funny(3)
Posted 2012-08-26T10:20:23+02:00
When I see a cute couple making out I yell, " I knew you're seeing somebody else!" and run crying.

Funny(7)
Comment by Anonymous

V I knew you would see my spelling error! *pounds keys and sobs*

Comment by Anonymous

It would be "I knew you were seeing somebody else!" Not i knew you're seeing

Posted 2012-08-20T22:55:23+02:00
If gay marriage is illegal because it destroys the sanctity of marriage, shouldn't cheating on your spouse and divorce be illegal too?

Win(12)
Comment by Anonymous

Cheating on your spouse and divorce are decisions hust like being gay...nobody said they're approved by christians. Not everybody who says they're christian really IS either...

Comment by Anonymous

it is if u wold follow any type of rules

Comment by Anonymous

vv Chances are your parents are/were druggies. vv

Comment by Anonymous

Its no the schools fault. Its the drugged up lazy no life losers.

Comment by Anonymous

Actually, public schools are terrible. They don't teach you shit anymore and they pretty much just float you through just for showing up. You'd either have to be retarded or extememly lazy not to pass.

Comment by Anonymous

Public schools arent bad

Comment by Anonymous

first commenter is completely missing the point in the status.

Comment by Anonymous

Yes, because everywhere else in the world homosexuality is never illegal or opposed. Just here in the USA. Moron.

Comment by Anonymous

Love and commitment are never "immoral". That's so stupid and uneducated. Why are there so many dumb people in the USA? Oh, right, public schools....

Comment by Anonymous

Illegal??? BAHAHAHAHAHA! Its not "illegal" its "immoral" and "cheating" is immoral too..and If you divorce from anything other than "adultry" it too is immoral.

Posted 2012-05-23T23:44:26+02:00
My first trip in a time machine would be to stop O.J. Simpson from killing those people, then the world would be spared from knowing the Kardashians

Funny(4)
Comment by Anonymous

Right! Her sex tape would not have meant shit if her dad wasn't well knowb because of OJ

Comment by Anonymous

No, they got famous because their Dad was an attorney in the OJ trial....her sex tape was years after that

Comment by Contentual

kardashians got famous from kim's sex tape

Comment by Anonymous

Then if you could somehow make sure the Hilton's aren't known either, that would be great. Actually, the Jersey Shore people should be #2 on the list.

Posted 2012-04-23T05:36:02+02:00
The first five days after the weekend are always the toughest.

Funny(4)
Comment by Anonymous

No shit shirlock

Comment by Anonymous

Branden conny is a unoriginal bastered!

Posted 2012-04-25T22:56:31+02:00
It's almost that time of year to find out what your friends with swimming pools have been up to since last summer.

Funny(4)
Comment by Anonymous

Shoot... I live in Florida. I've already been over to that friend's house 4-5 times!

Posted 2012-05-04T08:38:09+02:00
Everytime I see a math problem is looks like this: If you have 10 ice cubes and 11 apples how many pancakes will fit on the roof? Answer: Purple because monkeys don't wear hats.

Epic(8)
Comment by Anonymous

This is so me!

Comment by Anonymous

Hey idiot who commented first, you're a douche. Get a life.

Comment by Anonymous

people with no sense of humor should not be allowed here.. ( idiot below)

Comment by Anonymous

No!!!The correct answer is: 21 frozen apple pancakes

Posted 2012-04-18T03:13:10+02:00
I stand right next to the "God Hates Fags" guy with a sign that says "Please Ignore My Ex-Boyfriend"

Funny(7)
Comment by Anonymous

LOL I love this one! If WBC was around me I would have a guy friend make a sign like this <3

Comment by Anonymous

i don't get it

Comment by Anonymous

Yea a butt pirate would write some dumb shit like this

Comment by Anonymous

This deserves a billion likes! genius is what you are!

Posted by Zealot 2012-01-29T20:44:22+01:00
May the bridges I burn light the way.

Funny(5)
Posted 2012-01-17T06:02:17+01:00
I never give money to bums because a.) They probably make more money than I do. b.) They work from home. c.) They get to drink on the job.

Epic(1)
Comment by Anonymous

didn't mean to click dislike. stupid mouse.

Posted 2011-11-29T13:42:44+01:00
Give a man a gun and he can rob a bank, give a man a bank and he can rob the world.

Win(2)
Posted 2011-06-15T08:49:35+02:00
The best way to win an argument is to play dead.

Funny(5)
Posted by Suthernfukr 2011-10-13T05:45:45+02:00
Its a bit awkward when you don't realize how many curse words and sexual innuendos a song has in it until you're in the car listening to it with your parents.

Funny(6)
Posted by Suthernfukr 2011-10-23T17:03:44+02:00
Buying someone flowers is kind of a weird idea. Like: Hey, these are for you, now watch them slowly die, because I love you.

Funny(4)
Comment by Anonymous

omg i think this all the time! i hate it when ppl give me flowers!! they just die!

Posted 2011-09-21T10:49:13+02:00
I think if my rich neighbor realized just how awesome of a party he is going to have at his house tonight, he wouldn't leave for vacation.

Epic(6)
Posted 2011-05-02T06:45:56+02:00
On a scale of 1 to Osama Bin Laden how good was my hiding spot?

Epic(6)
Comment by Anonymous

i'd have to say brittany spears after she shaved her head - Polgin

Comment by Anonymous

LOL.... this made me laugh super hard.

Posted by Jok3r 2011-04-27T00:06:06+02:00
Did you guys know that turning up the radio fixes almost all your car problems?! Crazy.

Funny(3)
Posted by Ramziihadda 2011-04-13T16:30:35+02:00
If gas gets any more expensive I'll have to file for tankruptcy!

Epic(6)
Posted 2011-04-10T20:26:39+02:00
Cautiously awaiting the time when my "friends" find out I steal my status'..

Funny(5)

Total Number of Statuses:26199

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