Share

Posted 2013-11-29T18:22:17+01:00
It seems racist that they call it Black Friday just because a bunch of people are trying to get into stores in the middle of the night.

Epic(6)
Posted 2013-11-26T16:09:42+01:00
Maybe this year the turkey should be pardoning Obama.

Fail(5)
Comment by Anonymous

Nine years ago Obama was a relatively unknown state senator from Illinois, known for being absent from votes and having no notable accomplishments to his name. Sort of like now...

Comment by Anonymous

9 years ago nobody knew who the eff Obama was...they still don't, really...

Comment by Anonymous

V You're an idiot. Go stand in the corner!

Comment by Anonymous

I doubt it was 9 years ago .... where's your posts ?

Comment by Anonymous

OLD! I saw this same exact post here 9 years ago.

Posted 2013-11-11T17:31:27+01:00
To those who serve our country; I'm not only thankful that they defend our freedom, but that they risk their lives so that we can have ours.

Epic(2)
Comment by Anonymous

V Low info voter.

Comment by Anonymous

v Wait a minute, Obama lies? Thank god our past presidents never lie to us.

Comment by Anonymous

V Why would we want to desecrate the country and attach that loser to it? If you love pretty words and lies spoken off a teleprompter and not much else then he is your guy.

Comment by Anonymous

I really think we should rename this country ...'The United States of Obama' ...#RockStar

Comment by Anonymous

The person who disliked this must be Osama bin Larden best friend

Posted 2013-10-25T21:59:50+02:00
I would tell you to go fuck yourself but you'd be highly disappointed.

Epic(6)
Comment by Anonymous

Not if he did what your parents did and lowered the expectations.

Posted 2013-10-08T06:40:46+02:00
I'm so in Debt, I could start a Government.

Funny(7)
Comment by Anonymous

You should stop posting for your own welfare.

Comment by Anonymous

these inane posts are very taxing

Posted 2013-08-03T00:25:56+02:00
A troll's day: 1. Log on 2. Write shitty comments 3. Laugh 4. Notice dick is still small 5. Weep openly 6. Have mom make him a PB&J

Epic(6)
Comment by Anonymous

So many small dicks....

Comment by Anonymous

HAHAHAHA! @ all the trolls arguing. Aww! How cute!

Comment by Anonymous

V what do you suggest? Poison? Guns? Throw them off a cliff?

Comment by Anonymous

Can we get rid of the douche bag faggots that say, "bro?"

Comment by Anonymous

Obviously hit a little too close to home for some of you.

Comment by Anonymous

VV pre or post op?

Comment by Anonymous

V a woman with a penis...

Comment by Anonymous

Hmmm considering I'm a woman...

Comment by Anonymous

I am really sorry man. I messed up number 6. I thought I was supposed to Pee on your mom after the BJ (she was great BTW) not that she was supposed to make me a PB J. whoops.. next time.

Comment by Anonymous

takes a troll to know a troll.

Comment by Anonymous

v what is the number of guys who have liked the blowjob you gave them?

Comment by Anonymous

Any guy who says he doesn't like blow jobs obviously hasn't gotten one from your mom.

Comment by Anonymous

I disliked because I'm a troll and have nothing better to do. WAAAAAAHHHHHH!

Comment by Anonymous

Not all trolls have small dicks bro plus how would you know?

Comment by Anonymous

Keep whining bitch

Posted 2013-07-22T18:02:25+02:00
This is Britain's chance to outshine the USA by not naming the royal baby after a fruit, plant, or direction.

Funny(5)
68612
Comment by Anonymous

How is this old you retarded chicken lasher

Comment by Anonymous

V yes your statement is asshat

Comment by Anonymous

v was awesome!

Comment by Anonymous

Loved how London got destroyed in G.I.JOE Retaliation! Just saying...

Comment by Anonymous

Yea that's his V stick.. He wants it back

Comment by Anonymous

V it was a joke you moron take the stick out of your ass and lighten up about your stupid royals already.

Comment by Anonymous

To first comment, it would be King Sofa. We don't call Prince Harry, Harry Prince. You're such a dumbass. Go to school, you cheeky twat.

Comment by Anonymous

They still give their babies stupid names.

Comment by Anonymous

US can easily destroy that puny island. US military is way better than that of the UK.

Comment by Anonymous

They should name him Sofa so that someday he would be Sofa King

Posted 2013-07-01T02:03:34+02:00
Wind blew. Leaf fell. Tarantula landed on my arm. I panicked. Tarantula transformed back into a leaf. That's what happened.

Epic(4)
Posted 2013-06-14T22:41:44+02:00
An apple a day is bullshit. Apples are dangerous. Just look at Eve, Snow White, Blackberry or any pig at a luau.

Epic(4)
Comment by Anonymous

Do you want Iron in your blood? Let me shoot you in the head with iron bullets.

Posted 2013-05-15T04:55:06+02:00
Why is the 'It's Complicated' button only for 'In a Relationship' and not for 'Family', 'Career', 'Beliefs', 'Age' or 'Friends'?

Epic(5)
Comment by Anonymous

Yea wtf is up with that?

Comment by Anonymous

''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''

Comment by Anonymous

What's up with all the apostophes?

Posted 2013-05-21T21:20:06+02:00
My Tupperware lids and single socks are chilling somewhere laughing at me. Assholes

Funny(9)
Posted 2013-04-08T21:38:33+02:00
Dear ladies with landing strips. It's 2013, I have GPS and auto pilot. I can land this thing in the dark. Clear the road!!

Funny(3)
Comment by Anonymous

Oh, you're alking about pussy. At least you're not gay. Thankfully!

Comment by Anonymous

You couldn't hit the G-spot on a 10lb pussy!!!

Posted 2013-04-07T07:00:23+02:00
I walk into boss's office and I'm like "sup motherfucker" and he's all "I'm on conference call" and I'm like "oh, sorry....sup mother fuckers"

Funny(7)
Posted 2013-01-08T02:33:23+01:00
Justin Bieber smokes weed? That's it. I'm taking down all my posters........of weed.

Epic(5)
Posted by Jacobtmoney 2012-12-26T16:11:52+01:00
A bra is, a booby trap.

Funny(4)
Posted 2012-12-27T21:29:34+01:00
Don't send me a ;) face and then wonder why I show up at your house naked.

Epic(11)
Posted by Rollincool 2012-12-29T11:03:05+01:00
If I make you breakfast in bed. A simple 'Thank you.' is all I need! Not all this 'How did you get in my house?' business!

Epic(2)
Comment by Anonymous

#ILikeCrabCakes

Posted by Leah6666 2012-12-07T15:25:42+01:00
Hell hath no fury like your kid catching you throwing away anything, EVER. I smuggle out broken crayons like a mexican drug lord.

Epic(5)
Comment by Anonymous

Vvv this guy lmaoo^^

Comment by Anonymous

Hell also hath no fury like when I slam my cock in Leah6666's as while she is sleeping with no lube.

Posted 2012-12-05T22:11:45+01:00
If you choose to always make it all about you, that's precisely who you'll end up with.

Epic(10)
Posted 2012-11-28T16:05:39+01:00
Hey Scientists: Less sheep cloning and More making our world look like The Jetsons. Chop chop bitches

Funny(4)

Total Number of Statuses:25606

Status Stalker Login

Want to post a funny status? Well login isn't required but if you register and login you will have access to all the extra features status stalker has to offer.

Username:
Password:
Forgot Password?

Stalker Map

Facebook Addict Intervention Parody