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Posted 2012-01-07T22:07:08+01:00
At the young age of 5, a bear told me that I am the only person who can prevent forest fires. Why I was chosen, I'll never know.

Funny(7)
Posted 2011-07-16T11:43:06+02:00
I hope the guy who gets to change Casey Anthony's oil knows a thing or two about brakes and being a national hero.

Epic(6)
Comment by Anonymous

who gives a shit? everyone has their own mind and can think freely, not everyone is gonna let the jury think for them

Comment by Anonymous

She was found NOT GUILTY by a jury of her peers. Like it or Not!

Posted 2011-03-31T11:05:21+02:00
I wanna be rich enough to have 11 little people who run out of my closet every morning dressed as a nascar pit crew to make my bed really fast

Win(8)
Posted 2011-03-09T21:00:27+01:00
If you can't afford to go on vacation, you can always drink until you don't know where you are!

Funny(6)
Posted 2011-02-18T06:37:43+01:00
I'm not shy. I'm just holding back my awesomeness so I don't intimidate you.

Epic(9)
Posted 2011-01-28T16:56:45+01:00
I'm the type of person who would spend 20 years becoming a judge, just so ONE person could be all, "You can't judge me!" And I'm like, "Bullshit."

Epic(5)
Posted by Suthernfukr 2011-10-18T15:27:30+02:00
It's nice when someone can reply to your sarcasm with sarcasm instead of just getting offended.

Funny(5)
Posted 2011-01-20T02:13:57+01:00
I hope my last words aren't “What does this thing do?”

Epic(5)
Posted 2011-01-30T02:53:32+01:00
Nobody's phone is ever off. They're lying.

Epic(6)
Posted 2010-11-21T03:51:58+01:00
Have you ever tried breathing out of your mouth and nose at the same time? Are you trying it now?

Funny(9)
Comment by Anonymous

You got me! Haha

Comment by Anonymous

i just tried it

Comment by Anonymous

Haaha i tried 2

Comment by Anonymous

it's possible. i know cuz i do when smoking all the time.

Comment by Anonymous

That's Hilarious cause as soon as i read the first question i tried it then read the second question

Posted 2010-11-05T07:19:58+01:00
It's true we don't know what we've got until its gone, but we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives

Win(8)
Posted 2010-10-13T19:08:26+02:00
Why does mineral water that has "trickled through mountains for centuries" have a "Use By" date?

Funny(14)
Posted 2010-10-04T18:20:50+02:00
I wake up when I can't hold my pee in any longer.

Funny(4)
Posted 2014-05-30T03:21:09+02:00
Shouldn't we get paid to use the self-service checkouts in supermarkets? It's like we work there for a little while.

Funny(5)
Comment by Anonymous

v Good one, douche bag.

Comment by Anonymous

V Yeah, you are sorry!

Comment by Anonymous

vvv Are you retarded or a liberal? Wait, sorry, those are the same thing.

Comment by Anonymous

My name is Leroy Jethro Gibbs.

Comment by Anonymous

V I assume you meant it sums up the philosophy of the right wing. VA I don't see your name on your post.

Comment by Anonymous

Maybe so, but the "Nigger loving democrats" comment really sums it up.

Comment by Anonymous

When any of you not hiding behind anonymous comments want to create an account on here with your full real name then you will not be the cowards that you claim to hate. #getamirror

Comment by Anonymous

YEAH!!! Wave your Confederate flags, you liberal demoncats!!!! Dumb asses.

Comment by Anonymous

V Good point. I'm done with this knuckle-dragger. Talk to yourself, scarecrow.

Comment by Anonymous

All of you need to leave him alone! This is probably the highlight of his life, let him have it .....OK proceed, scarecrow.

Comment by Anonymous

vvv Hahaha, the scarecrow, no courage!

Comment by Anonymous

V You hit the nail on the head! Closet racists like that guy have to hide behind anonymous message boards because they have no courage.

Comment by Anonymous

V Sorry you have to be such a coward, but racists are flaccid little pisants so it's really unavoidable. Get an education and you won't have to live your life in fear, m'kay?

Comment by Anonymous

VV Old weak shit as usual from you cupcake. Sorry your life sucks so bad you have to try and make it seem like you are cool with your silly schoolboy fantasies.

Comment by Anonymous

VV I'm with you! You have every right to post whatever you want, regardless of anyone's "fun." Sites like this are a great venue for cowardly pussies like yourself to spew your ignorant, racist rants free from the fear of getting your fucking ass beat, which would inevitably happen otherwise because you're so weak. So rant on, don your hood, wave your Confederate flag and smile proudly. Let's see that tooth!

Comment by Anonymous

V That's great. I'm sure your mom is having a nice day too since I fucked the shit out of her. Fucking whore!

Comment by Anonymous

vv You, of course, are right. It is up to all of us not to say things that will offend the shit for brains liberal and hurt his feelings. We all need to be sorry for ruining his right to fun and only post happy comments. Hey liberal poster here's some happiness and sunshine just for you, I wished your mom a nice day today. I am sure now that we know, no one will ever say anything bad on here. Well accept the grammer and spelling nazi. Your always going to get them to comment. ;)

Comment by Anonymous

v Whoa whoa whoa... a liberal taking responsibility for something... you're asking way too much.

Comment by Anonymous

VV Easy fix for you, don't click on the comments if they make you all butt hurt.

Comment by Anonymous

VV So much for "covert racism" .. dude's just a straight up coward.

Comment by Anonymous

This web page is no fun when there is so much ass holes making comments on status all the time.

Comment by Anonymous

Nigger loving democrats

Comment by Anonymous

Well I guess that's settled, LOL.

Comment by Anonymous

P. S. I make more money than you do.

Comment by Anonymous

It's always funny how right wing knuckle draggers still try to portray the unemployed as lazy liberals when it's not even remotely true. That's what happens when you have simple-minded, non-thinkers that are willing to be pawns for corporate America and fuck over their own self interests so just to have a venue to vent their covert racism. You are pathetic turds. Please die.

Comment by Anonymous

U get enough money from the dole you scrounger

Comment by Anonymous

Ur right. It is ridiculous to get paid for working. What was I thinking?

Comment by Anonymous

Swiping an EBT card is hard work

Comment by Anonymous

Geez, you liberals are lazy...

Posted 2014-05-30T03:19:44+02:00
Sometimes I spend whole meetings wondering how they got the big meeting table through the door.

Funny(7)
Comment by Anonymous

V Brilliant. You have a firm grasp on the obvious and I bet nothing gets by you.

Comment by Anonymous

By putting the table together

Comment by Anonymous

It's REALLY not that difficult to understand you idiots. Obviously the room was built around the big meeting table, duh, morons!

Comment by Anonymous

It was magic.

Comment by Anonymous

If you can't figure that out, you probably aren't smart enough to be sitting at a big meeting table.

Posted 2014-02-05T03:14:00+01:00
Some souls are consumed with what grows in the garden of others and then wonder, why their own does not flourish.

Win(5)
Comment by Anonymous

I abbreviated your mom's nigger nose

Comment by Anonymous

V Use punctuation, you inbred cocksucker.

Comment by Anonymous

V spell it all you abbreviated faggot.

Comment by Anonymous

Well that is because you are the Douche bag of ss.

Comment by Db

Ya? And I just farted in the city

Comment by Anonymous

I live in the city and go out to eat.

Posted 2014-01-13T03:55:17+01:00
Guys, if she says she's crazy, she's harmless. The real crazy ones never give you a damn clue.

Epic(7)
Posted 2013-12-24T05:36:42+01:00
As you get older your Christmas list gets shorter, because the things you want can't be bought.

Win(7)
Comment by Anonymous

More like because I bought it myself when I wanted it, because I'm an adult.

Posted 2013-09-13T22:01:11+02:00
All I'm saying is that Miley Cyrus was on the Disney Channel and had her clothes on when Bush was president. Thanks, Obama.

Epic(12)
Comment by Anonymous

oh the sarcasm people are taking literally...

Comment by Anonymous

OBAMANATION!!!

Comment by Anonymous

V like Obozo stole the election.

Comment by Anonymous

you stole this.

Posted 2013-05-17T18:36:24+02:00
Dating sites should have a section for people to leave a review for the person they went out with.

Epic(5)
Comment by Anonymous

I'm sorry...how is that a problem again?

Comment by Anonymous

The only problem is that if you're dating that many ppl to have lots of reviews, it just proves that you're a whore and/or you suck at relationships. And the system is flawed because your exes tend to not have good things to say about u

Comment by Anonymous

some of them do have that, well I guess it depends no the (cough cough) nevermind


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