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Posted 2013-12-03T18:42:55-07:00
My girlfriend wants to get married. I hope she finds someone nice.

Funny(7)
Comment by Anonymous

lol you are the coolest kind of asshole

Comment by Anonymous

You don't deserve a girlfriend

Posted 2013-10-01T08:58:23-06:00
Did we try giving the government a snickers?

Epic(10)
Comment by Anonymous

I have to admit, that one made me giggle.

Comment by Anonymous

If only that worked...could give the psycho bitch who drove her car through the White House gate one, too.

Posted 2013-10-24T12:07:20-06:00
I thought we had something. You met my family, made me dinner, called me honey. Now suddenly you’re a “waitress” who was “doing her job?”

Funny(7)
Comment by Anonymous

V moron who cannot remember anything he sees so every day is new to him

Comment by Anonymous

People must not have a life if they know this is old...

Comment by Anonymous

That was a chick with a dick.

Comment by Anonymous

My Grandmother was really flattered that you were interested in her and she said do not worry some women like small penises and someday you will find the right one or more likely come out of the closet.

Comment by Anonymous

Fuckin' ooooooooooooooooooooooooooollllllllllllllllllllllllllllllldddddddddddddddd!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted 2013-05-23T15:41:09-06:00
You can't make me believe there's a shortage of jobs in this country when there are 23 cash registers at WalMart and only 3 cashiers.

Epic(7)
Comment by Anonymous

That's because Walmart won't hire the people for the registers, because they're greedy bastards.

Comment by Anonymous

stfu its funny

Comment by Anonymous

Jesus Christ, enough with the Walmart statuses!

Posted 2013-04-30T18:43:34-06:00
My generation's zombies didn't run. They walked. Uphill. In the snow. They ate what brains they could find and they liked it.

Epic(6)
Comment by Anonymous

More than a few zombie movies had zombies that ran dingleberry

Comment by Anonymous

Only gamers will get this.

Comment by Anonymous

You guys are dumb. There are obviously movies and video games with zombies that run. This post is legitimate.

Comment by Anonymous

zombies don't run, numb nuts

Comment by Anonymous

I dont get it!!!

Posted 2012-11-16T09:55:22-07:00
Another Twilight movie? I hope Abraham Lincoln shows up and slays every last one of them.

Epic(5)
Comment by Anonymous

Twilight is gay

Comment by Anonymous

Your a Faggot! Only Faggots use that word!

Posted 2012-09-14T10:06:13-06:00
Have you ever been constipated and sittin on the toilet and think to yourself...I don't have time for this shit.

Epic(7)
Posted by Suthernfukr 2012-06-05T14:07:36-06:00
When the hostess at the restaurant says "table for 2?" I always like to look surprised and whisper "you can see him too?"

Funny(6)
Comment by Anonymous

Dude stfu hes funny your not obviously

Comment by Anonymous

VV you are a dumb ass

Comment by Alisa082152

I'm glad to see u posting again I've missed your awesomeness!! Thanks for the daily laughs

Comment by Anonymous

Vvvv you must of been sexually abused as a child

Comment by Anonymous

Hey cock sucker (Suthernfukr) how many cocks you suck on today? I love that your my bitch..

Posted by Suthernfukr 2012-01-11T12:18:21-07:00
DOUCHEBAG: "Bro can I use your phone to call my girlfriend?" ME: "Yeah sure, just hit redial."

Funny(2)
Posted by Suthernfukr 2012-01-22T08:42:32-07:00
Instead of knowing what the #1 song was when you were born it would be cool if it could tell you what the #1 song will be when you die. That way when you start hearing it on the radio, you'll know that the end is near.

Epic(5)
Posted 2011-10-10T13:45:19-06:00
Hilarious Careless Whisper Prank

Epic(8)
Comment by Anonymous

I was in the mall when he did this!! it was on LA

Comment by Anonymous

Omg had to watch oh...about 20 times!!!! Lmao hilarious!!! Pelvic thrusts are epic

Comment by Anonymous

the behind the

Comment by Timelady

I've been a fan of this video for a long time. I love it...haha.

Comment by Tommy

no its George Michaels craeless whisper

Comment by Anonymous

lmao isnt this kennny g's song

Comment by Anonymous

Ahahahahaha! I recognize the taco bell, Ross, and football field he played on xD

Comment by Tommy

don't be down voting my homie

Posted 2011-10-16T08:45:44-06:00
I got gas earlier for $1.19....too bad it was from taco bell.

Epic(5)
Posted 2011-09-12T04:51:23-06:00
I didn't text you to exercise my fingers, I want a damn reply.

Funny(5)
Comment by Anonymous

There's this extraordinary thing called a phone call, you can actually hear them respond!!

Posted 2011-03-29T23:27:05-06:00
Sometimes you have to forgive and forget. Forgive them for hurting you and forget that they exist. Move on!

Win(5)
Comment by Anonymous

If you had moved on you wouldn't be thinking this, much less writing it.

Posted 2011-04-09T20:44:26-06:00
I changed the name of my hard drive to 'that thang,' so once a month, my computer asks me if I wanna back that that thang up

Funny(5)
Comment by Anonymous

"You wanna back that thang up or should I push upon it?"

Posted by Tchangles 2011-03-04T23:10:57-07:00
Cops sent me a picture of me speeding through a red light so I sent them a picture of a check. Hope we're even

Win(9)
Comment by Anonymous

saw this on twiter

Comment by Anonymous

u shoulda sent them a picture of donuts to make it even...

Comment by Anonymous

anonymous--- that is really stupid sorry :D

Comment by Anonymous

thts so funny "they sent u handcuffs back

Comment by Anonymous

Let me guess, they sent you back a picture of handcuffs???

Posted 2011-02-21T17:23:56-07:00
Love when you're ready, not when you're lonely.

Win(5)
Posted 2011-03-12T08:45:49-07:00
I am not defined by my past. I am prepared by it.

Epic(10)
Posted 2010-12-14T08:00:05-07:00
If you're one of those people who think the world is going to end in 2012, please send me all your stuff

Funny(9)
Posted 2010-11-24T21:00:34-07:00
Women are like police, they can have all the evidence in the world but they still want a confession

Epic(11)

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