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Posted 2013-10-01T16:58:23+02:00
Did we try giving the government a snickers?

Epic(10)
Comment by Anonymous

I have to admit, that one made me giggle.

Comment by Anonymous

If only that worked...could give the psycho bitch who drove her car through the White House gate one, too.

Posted 2013-09-09T16:50:38+02:00
I wish all videos of people twerking ended with them catching on fire.

Win(6)
Comment by Anonymous

it was fake dipshit

Comment by Anonymous

I had my cock inside your mom's ass while she was twerking. it increases the intensity of a fuck, don't ya know?

Comment by Anonymous

Too bad it was fake

Comment by Anonymous

You watched CNN this morning too, I see.

Posted 2013-10-24T20:07:20+02:00
I thought we had something. You met my family, made me dinner, called me honey. Now suddenly you’re a “waitress” who was “doing her job?”

Funny(7)
Comment by Anonymous

V moron who cannot remember anything he sees so every day is new to him

Comment by Anonymous

People must not have a life if they know this is old...

Comment by Anonymous

That was a chick with a dick.

Comment by Anonymous

My Grandmother was really flattered that you were interested in her and she said do not worry some women like small penises and someday you will find the right one or more likely come out of the closet.

Comment by Anonymous

Fuckin' ooooooooooooooooooooooooooollllllllllllllllllllllllllllllldddddddddddddddd!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted 2013-05-23T23:41:09+02:00
You can't make me believe there's a shortage of jobs in this country when there are 23 cash registers at WalMart and only 3 cashiers.

Epic(7)
Comment by Anonymous

That's because Walmart won't hire the people for the registers, because they're greedy bastards.

Comment by Anonymous

stfu its funny

Comment by Anonymous

Jesus Christ, enough with the Walmart statuses!

Posted 2013-01-31T01:18:21+01:00
There's a reason why "sober" and "so bored" sound almost exactly the same

Epic(4)
Posted 2013-01-17T21:57:16+01:00
It's 24 degrees here today. I just keyed someone's car with my nipples.

Funny(8)
Posted 2012-11-16T17:55:22+01:00
Another Twilight movie? I hope Abraham Lincoln shows up and slays every last one of them.

Epic(5)
Comment by Anonymous

Twilight is gay

Comment by Anonymous

Your a Faggot! Only Faggots use that word!

Posted by Leah6666 2012-10-06T15:01:07+02:00
They say "confidence" is the most attractive quality in a partner. But I'd have to say, "not banging my friends" would be a very close 2nd.

Funny(5)
Comment by Anonymous

v ...You obviously are to young to be on here. Get off!

Comment by Anonymous

i dont get it :D sorry ... can someone explain

Posted 2012-09-14T18:06:13+02:00
Have you ever been constipated and sittin on the toilet and think to yourself...I don't have time for this shit.

Epic(7)
Posted by Suthernfukr 2012-01-22T16:42:32+01:00
Instead of knowing what the #1 song was when you were born it would be cool if it could tell you what the #1 song will be when you die. That way when you start hearing it on the radio, you'll know that the end is near.

Epic(4)
Posted 2011-09-12T12:51:23+02:00
I didn't text you to exercise my fingers, I want a damn reply.

Funny(5)
Comment by Anonymous

There's this extraordinary thing called a phone call, you can actually hear them respond!!

Posted 2011-03-30T07:27:05+02:00
Sometimes you have to forgive and forget. Forgive them for hurting you and forget that they exist. Move on!

Win(5)
Comment by Anonymous

If you had moved on you wouldn't be thinking this, much less writing it.

Posted by Tchangles 2011-03-05T07:10:57+01:00
Cops sent me a picture of me speeding through a red light so I sent them a picture of a check. Hope we're even

Win(9)
Comment by Anonymous

saw this on twiter

Comment by Anonymous

u shoulda sent them a picture of donuts to make it even...

Comment by Anonymous

anonymous--- that is really stupid sorry :D

Comment by Anonymous

thts so funny "they sent u handcuffs back

Comment by Anonymous

Let me guess, they sent you back a picture of handcuffs???

Posted 2011-02-22T01:23:56+01:00
Love when you're ready, not when you're lonely.

Win(5)
Posted 2011-03-12T16:45:49+01:00
I am not defined by my past. I am prepared by it.

Epic(10)
Posted 2010-12-14T16:00:05+01:00
If you're one of those people who think the world is going to end in 2012, please send me all your stuff

Funny(9)
Posted 2010-11-11T03:06:58+01:00
I want kids. I have chores to assign.

Funny(5)
Posted 2010-10-28T00:56:58+02:00
You just don't see enough people being taken away in straight jackets anymore

Funny(9)
Posted 2010-10-20T05:22:14+02:00
I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three.

Funny(6)
Posted by Suckit 2010-10-11T03:13:44+02:00
Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.

Funny(10)
Comment by Anonymous

thats messed up.. lol

Comment by Anonymous

Did you hear about the guy who's whole right side got cut off? It's okay, there's still half of him left. Boom.

Comment by Anonymous

wah wah wah waaaaaaaaaaah


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