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Posted by Dfarma 2011-07-30T06:05:13+02:00
Why do people say "grow some balls?".. Balls are weak and sensitive, if you wanna get tough, grow a vagina. Those things take a pounding....

Epic(30)
Comment by Anonymous

Betty White said this.

Comment by Anonymous

I posted it as a status and got 98 likes..why not

Comment by Anonymous

um for you vaginas who are saying a tad rough for fb if people dont like it FUCK EM

Comment by Anonymous

yeah okay dipshit. thats exactly why i wouldn't post this.

Comment by Anonymous

Man I wish I could put that put people would be like "what the hell?!"

Comment by Anonymous

Not if you're a virgin (:

Comment by Anonymous

EPIC...but a little rough for a facebook status i think...

Posted by Wildymod 2011-07-20T13:08:29+02:00
I wonder if Woody and Buzz have ever met any of Andy's Mom's toys. They probably have the same names.

Funny(32)
Comment by Anonymous

Google "Neck massagers". If you can't piece it together by then... Well... You're on your own.

Comment by Anonymous

I don't get it :/

Comment by Anonymous

ohhh a neck massager! i was thinking something totally different!

Comment by Anonymous

Pertaining to Andy's Mom's "toys". You know... One of those... Neck massagers.

Comment by Wildymod

@Anonymous below ~ From Disney's Movie "Toy Story" - Woody & Buzz Lightyear

Comment by Anonymous

I dont get it. Haha. Can someone please explain?

Comment by Anonymous

Came* Also, who the f**k still makes faces like that?

Comment by Bknichols

Best one i heard in long time.

Comment by Anonymous

That's hilarious!!

Comment by Bconno

Where do you think this whole movie idea cane from? :-)

Comment by Anonymous

that was great

Comment by Anonymous

that was great

Posted 2009-11-11T20:54:59+01:00
were your parents assholes? becz u are the shit!

Funny(27)
Comment by Anonymous

hah! shane dawson did that one once...

Comment by Anonymous

Excuse me. What do you know about my parents bitch i will beat you down!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! thanks for calling me cool tho. but don't you ever call my parents assholes again got it baby???? YOu GOT IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted 2010-09-18T05:31:26+02:00
Nothing is more disturbing than sitting on a warm toilet seat.

Funny(26)
Comment by Anonymous

Sitting on a bloody toliet seat. --- CmH

Comment by Anonymous

Sitting on a WET... WARM... toilet seat...

Comment by Anonymous

Yes, there is. Sitting on a WET toilet seat.

Posted 2010-10-29T17:29:08+02:00
I hate when I look horrible in a group picture and the person that looks good refuses to delete it

Epic(15)
Comment by Anonymous

................

Comment by Liv2behappy

I so hate this too...I have a LOT of picture taking friends every weekend who upload anything and everything. I personally will only upload if we ALL look decent in the shot (no closed eyes or weird faces) A higher self image doesn't come into play when there's pics posted of you chewing on chips at 2 am ya ignorant f*ck! Obviously the person below is the "insta uploader" type.

Comment by Anonymous

I KNOW HOW YOU Feel and your case is something very normal it is called "GET A HIGHER f**kING SELF IMAGE" (stupid perfectionist)

Comment by Anonymous

Oh gawd this happened to me :/

Posted 2010-10-07T05:41:59+02:00
Is it just me or do mirrors look really sexy?

Win(30)
Comment by Anonymous

I think this person is just very sexy.

Comment by Anonymous

It's not just you. Mirrors are probably the sexiest thing I've ever seen.

Comment by Anonymous

Wow, this is stupid

Comment by Anonymous

No I think this person was very narcissistic.

Comment by Anonymous

No I think this person was very narcissistic.

Comment by Anonymous

No I think this person was very narcissistic.

Comment by Anonymous

tht is discussting the perSon tht wRote thIs must bee a perv. :P

Posted 2011-02-09T21:54:30+01:00
I want to make a Facebook account and the name will be "Nobody" so when I see stupid crap people post, I can "Like" it. And it will say "Nobody Likes This"

Funny(26)
Comment by Anonymous

When u block someone and that person liked a status from another friend that you have it will say nobody. lol I like that bc the person I blocked is nobody special to me. =)

Comment by Anonymous

hahahaha!!! YES!!! XD

Comment by Anonymous

This is one of the best ones!!

Posted 2009-11-26T02:02:21+01:00
TEIAM -- problem solved.

Epic(25)
Comment by Anonymous

There is no "I" in team... but there is a "me"

Comment by Anonymous

im a little in love with this status right now....(:

Comment by Anonymous

i love reading comments dey so punny moor moor

Comment by Anonymous

lmfao dis is halarious!

Comment by Suckit

Sounds like someone was never picked to play sports in high school, maybe even middle school judging from your sophomoric response.

Posted 2009-11-26T02:01:41+01:00
Sweet and sour chicken; how can it be both? Come on...let's get real, China.

Funny(33)
Comment by Anonymous

wow...i love china(:

Comment by Anonymous

Lol this makes me laugh(:

Comment by Anonymous

Haha I love reading comments

Comment by Anonymous

wtf if that dude is 'ashion" then why did he spell Asian like "ashion" ?!?!

Comment by Anonymous

f**k u i am ashion ond i like cheetos

Posted 2011-03-30T21:26:29+02:00
Excuse me lady in the check out line in front of me purchasing both a box of condoms and a pregnancy test.....How's your day going?

Funny(25)
Comment by Anonymous

its a joke not a dick dont take it so hard :)

Comment by Anonymous

its a joke not a dick dont take it so hard :)

Comment by Anonymous

Jone ~ No shit ! it just funny dude ..

Comment by Jones107

If you had one you wouldnt think youd need the other

Posted 2010-10-04T02:47:23+02:00
I stay up late every night, and realize its a bad idea every morning.

Epic(12)
Posted 2012-05-14T17:06:36+02:00
Top ten reasons to ban gay marriage 1) Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester and air conditioning. 2) Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall. Freedom to Marry3) Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract. 4) Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all like many of the principles on which this great country was founded; women are still property, blacks still can't marry whites, and divorce is still illegal. 5) Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed; the sanctity of marriages like Britney Spears would be destroyed. 6) The only valid marriages are those which produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn't be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren't full yet, and the world needs more children. 7) Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children. 8) Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That's why we have only one religion in America. 9) Children can never succeed without both a male and a female role model at home. That's why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children. 10) Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven't adapted to cars, the service-sector economy or longer life spans.

Get a Life(40)
Comment by Anonymous

Why don't you take your religious views and stick them right up your hairy asshole. thats the only place anyone cares what you have to say.

Comment by Anonymous

What do you wanna bet the person who posted this is a depressed autistic person?

Comment by Anonymous

Im kinda pissed that i even took time to read that... Fuckin retarded

Comment by Anonymous

You sire, are an asshole.

Comment by Anonymous

Listen everyone...just like for ex} Christians and Jews don't believe the same thing, we get along in this world and except their beliefs. that goes for Muslims etc. too. If we can do THAT even though we might believe the christians or the jews or the muslims are going to hell, why can't we do the same if we think the gays, bisexuals, lesbians etc. are going to hell? anyone who says a gay needs to die like the guy below...do you really think YOU'RE going to heaven saying stuff like that? it's disgusting and it's unchristian itself...or just evil if your'e not christian let's say. If you call this comment GAY and it's not a real argument if you disagree, then you're childish and again, you think YOU'RE going to heaven? let's just get along and stop all the fucking aggravation in this world...it would be less aggravated if marijuana was legalized but,....we'll have to wait for that where i am, anyway -_-

Comment by Anonymous

I have no issue with gays getting married but they are fools for wanting the hassle.

Comment by Anonymous

Clearly some people don't recognize sarcasm if it slaps them in the face. I'm glad it pissed those people off.

Comment by Anonymous

Anyone who thinks this is serious is and IDIOT.. if you read the first line this is clearly a joke. I found it hilarious and it actually supports the idea of same sex marriage. Please read things before you make complete fools of yourselves.

Comment by Anonymous

GAY all the way! ....to hell.

Comment by Anonymous

i bet anything the person who posted this is more homo then richard simmons at a zumba class listenining to i just kissed a boy

Comment by Anonymous

im bisexual and im proud!!!!! suck on that son XD

Comment by Anonymous

Put your name up....

Comment by Anonymous

I think if you wanna post how you feel about things put your name brave one.

Comment by Anonymous

Wow!! Your an asshole.

Comment by Anonymous

V I said, "not in favor".

Comment by Anonymous

Why would you want to legalize marijuana? It would cost a shit ton more, just keep buying from your dealer and smoke it at your house. Mine as well quit like I did cause you'll never make it anywhere. If you get a job where they don't drug test, your probably not making that much anyways. Just quit dude. I know its safe but Damn, grow up. But back to the gay faggot shit. Its wrong to be gay. You were not raised right and should really think about why you don't like girls or vice versa

Comment by Anonymous

Not sure if we are all human? as of this year minorities take 53% of our population in babies born in the US. We are all merging into one color, Does it matter? nope. Gay, Bi, Lesbian, transgender, and straight. we all are gonna die, and leave it to the next ignorant generation

Comment by Anonymous

I would say I wish your kids would grow up being straight but we all know that's not going to happen.

Comment by Anonymous

To the second post down. Just because you cannot find someone of the opposite sex that loves you don't wish your problem on others.

Comment by Anonymous

So, how about those who are not in favor for legalizing marijuana? That's the real question. I have no problem with people who are gay and to the guy who said "the world needs more children? Kid you're a joke".. no sir, you are. We are not overpopulated and that has been proved along with other irrelevant things.

Comment by Anonymous

The last comment is funny. Like being gay is a learned trait. I hope your kids are gay so that you might learn a little tolerance... Although with thinking like that, you'll just disown them. Pathetic.

Comment by Anonymous

Put all of the lesbians on one island and fags on another and after one generation our problem will be solved.

Comment by Anonymous

I disliked before I read it ALL.... Sorry... Probably the same thing many of the idiots that left comments did too....

Comment by Anonymous

I chose to be gay like you chose to be straight.

Comment by Anonymous

Hahaha this is hilarious! Gays should be put into concentration camps and thrown in gas chambers!

Comment by Anonymous

Oh yes... the sanctity of marriage debate... lets divorce 3 times, have a couple of mistresses on the side a bunch of illegitimate kids and deny a couple who happen to be monogamous and gay a chance to have one loving marriage? That is soooo reasonable. I am obviously surrounded by a bunch of bigoted fuckwits here. Does anyone understand the definition of civil rights? Let me help... CIVIL RIGHTS: A broad range of privileges and rights guaranteed by the United States Constitution and subsequent amendments and laws that guarantee fundamental freedoms to all individuals. These freedoms include the rights of free expression and action ( civil liberties); the right to enter into contracts, own property, and initiate lawsuits; the rights of due process and equal protection of the laws; opportunities in education and work; the freedom to live, travel, and use public facilities wherever one chooses; and the right to participate in the democratic political system. We are not doing our job as Americans here... It is in our constitution that this group should be able to enter into contracts of marriage... hypocrisy at its finest... all because in the 20th century, our government was belied by hateful religious asshats... did you know we did not have God on our currency or in our pledge of allegiance until the 20th century? Learn your history. As Martin Luther King said it so eloquently, "We must learn to live together as brothers or perish together as fools." You don't have to LIKE what gay people do, but it is your job as an American to uphold their rights as citizens.

Comment by Anonymous

Im all for gay-marriage and this is a prime example of why I believe it! It's the perfect amount of sarcasm to make people (although not on here because these people are not an educated audience-apparently) Great example,"Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall." HAHA How does the choice that somebody else makes to marry the same sex effect my life in any way????

Comment by Anonymous

Good grief to this poster and the couple others like him. Please familiarize yourself with the term "sarcasm". "You're a fucking moron. I would curb stomp the fuck out of your face. So if I get legally married to my girlfriend, and we never have kids, it isn't valid? Makes complete sense. And the world needs more children? Lmao kid, you're a joke. You're the perfect example of why we DON'T need more."

Comment by Anonymous

Because striaght women dont suck dick and get fucked in the ass?

Comment by Anonymous

There's no sanctity in sucking Dick and getting fucked in the ass...

Comment by Anonymous

Children can never succeed without both a male and femal role model at home - blimey that must be why my daughter has just got a First at University and been accepted on a Degree Course and my Son has 4 Grade A, A Levels. Oh hang about though my husband went off with my best friend so there was only me - I'm SUCH a failure he would have got five A Levels otherwise...

Comment by Anonymous

Do what you want, you'll answer for your sins in the end. Can't change the mind of ignorant people on a silly website called statusstalker. A marriage is between a man and a woman. Don't like it? Then don't get married. Be the annoying faggot that doesn't think you are being treated fairly. You CHOSE to be gay. Sorry, you made the wrong choice fag.

Comment by Anonymous

i think gays are nature's way to keep our population in check....

Comment by Anonymous

Adam and Eve was married?

Comment by Anonymous

gay people have just as much of a right to as miserable as everyone else. let them get married

Comment by Anonymous

You're a fucking moron. I would curb stomp the fuck out of your face. So if I get legally married to my girlfriend, and we never have kids, it isn't valid? Makes complete sense. And the world needs more children? Lmao kid, you're a joke. You're the perfect example of why we DON'T need more.

Comment by Anonymous

You are a pig. And so are the rest of you. People should marry whoever they want. You must be a christian.

Comment by Anonymous

You are a pig. And so are the rest of you. People should marry whoever they want. You must be a christian.

Comment by Anonymous

I agree this is not fb or twit friendly

Comment by Anonymous

GOT DAM HOMIE YOU PUT UP A SMALL NOVEL ...WTF....i cant but this on twitter.

Comment by Anonymous

Personally I don't care who gets married....as long as it isn't me..

Comment by Anonymous

It's a freaking status not a diary

Comment by Anonymous

Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve.

Comment by Anonymous

i believe in god, i just hate his fan club......

Comment by Anonymous

one man one woman

Comment by Anonymous

too lazy to read all this shit ...

Comment by Anonymous

This is by far the most ridiculous thing I've ever read, and I'm sick of seeing it everywhere on the internet.

Comment by Anonymous

ok you need to be shot

Comment by Anonymous

This is the realist thing I've ever read

Comment by Anonymous

You just wait...

Comment by Anonymous

I love this. This is awesome!

Comment by Anonymous

I wish your parents were gay..... then we would not have to deal with you and this bull crap!!

Comment by Anonymous

Lesbians are hot, Dykes are not!

Comment by Anonymous

I think they should ban straight marriage. They're the ones who ruined the sanctity of it to begin with...

Posted 2010-10-03T05:10:11+02:00
I'm playing that game where the floor is made of lava, so I obviously can't get off the couch or I'll die.

Funny(20)
Posted 2012-03-02T23:16:38+01:00
Why the Hell is there a goat on the top of this Website?

Funny(27)
Comment by Anonymous

suthernfukr has nothing better to do!

Comment by Anonymous

Why ARE You reading the comments ? vvv (I don't see anybody mentioning your name)

Comment by Anonymous

Lmfao at 2cd comment, and that suthernfukr reads all the comments just to see if he is mentioned lol. what a loser

Comment by Anonymous

lol @ 2nd commenter hahahahahaha

Comment by Suthernfukr

Still riding these nuts!

Comment by Anonymous

Nah... that's Southerfukr.

Comment by Anonymous

He's obviously the founder of this website! Duh

Posted 2011-05-12T15:40:51+02:00
Next time I'm on an elevator with four or more strangers, I'm going to turn around and say, "I'm sure you're wondering why I've gathered you all here."

Funny(24)
Comment by Anonymous

I did just that and the people didn't laugh, they just looked at me all funny 0_o

Comment by Anonymous

Apparently people like it. I thought it was great...and never heard it before until just now, sooo who cares. 90% of these are copied, probably either from other sites or have at some point been said/used before. Very rarely are they original off the cuff statuses.

Comment by Anonymous

Nice copy. Sometimes it's good to rehash old jokes.

Posted 2010-09-22T00:22:08+02:00
Dear whoever decides when breakfast is over at McDonald's, F*CK YOU.

Epic(22)
Comment by Dilligaf13

Comment below....read the last two words of this status.

Comment by Anonymous

We have EVERYTHING available at all times here in our McDonald's...hehe

Comment by Anonymous

What part of AM do they not understand. It's still AM until 12:00 Noon

Comment by Anonymous

I completely agree! I was out late partying somehow was up till 10am decided to get some McDonalds. Got there at 10:50 and that s**t was nothing but burgers and fries...faiiiilll

Posted 2010-10-04T02:49:24+02:00
When you don't remember someones name, you wait for someone else to say it so you can pretend like you knew it all along.

Win(11)
Comment by Anonymous

ive done this plenty of times..specially at bithday parties lmao

Posted 2010-10-04T06:10:54+02:00
Having a smoking section in a restaurant is like having a peeing section in a pool

Funny(17)
Comment by Anonymous

Dont be a hater!!!!

Comment by Anonymous

srry.. but its nothing like that..

Comment by Anonymous

Lol so far 28 smokers and 104 non smokers

Posted by Hambone 2010-11-16T06:15:15+01:00
My bank lets me send a text message and it'll text back with my balance. It's a cool feature but I didn't think the LOL was necessary.

Funny(29)
Comment by Anonymous

This is so funny!!! hahahaha i just s**t my pants in laughter

Comment by Anonymous

he has little money in his account, but what does that has got to do with banks texting back with LOL? banks do not text back with LOL?

Comment by Anonymous

He has so little money in his account, its hilarious.

Comment by Anonymous

huh? what? i dont get it

Posted by Qtinks 2010-10-04T19:49:57+02:00
If you can read this then it's your lucky day. I did my monthly facebook friend deletions and you made the cut! Good Luck next month ;)

Funny(25)

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