Stalked on 04/18/2012 @ 3:40am
Harry Potter Pickup Line: You don't have to say lumos maxima to turn me on.

Epic(2)
Comment by Anonymous

This guy sounds intelligent V

Comment by Anonymous

Shut up. harry potter is some motha fuckin gayyyyyyy asssss fuckin bullshit papa

Comment by Anonymous

How'd this get published

Stalked on 04/18/2012 @ 12:49am
Pick up lines for old people: Grandpa: Hey baby, you better call life alert, cause I've fallen for you and can't get up.

Funny(6)
Stalked on 03/29/2012 @ 6:52pm
Failed Pickup Line: Hey Miss Thang, is there a Mister Thang?

Fail(5)
Comment by Anonymous

Well at least you got the "failed" part correct. -_-

Stalked on 03/18/2012 @ 8:53am
My pick-up line: "Can I have your 1st & last name please. I'd like to add you on Facebook."

Fail(14)
Comment by Anonymous

This is on its way to being one of the worst posts of all time. Somebody call Kanye West.

Stalked on 02/10/2012 @ 1:10am
you're the type of guy I'd make a sandwich for

Funny(4)
Comment by Anonymous

They do shower; sadly every one of them never seem to clean after pissing. It's a stale, urine smell and they all have it.Especially the fat ones.

Comment by Anonymous

lmfao this Bitch again...Seriously You need to find pokes that actually shower!

Comment by Anonymous

He has to wash his balls first; guys usually stink of piss down there.

Comment by Anonymous

and if the woman isnt..eat her out.

Comment by Anonymous

Now that's LOVE & If you Don't see a sandwich in his hand....Give him a Blow job!

Stalked on 11/29/2011 @ 3:07am
Love likes to play hide-and-go-seek, because i can't seem to be able to find it...

Epic(1)
Stalked on 11/26/2011 @ 5:48pm
I don't play hard to get I play to get you hard.

Funny(3)
Comment by Anonymous

WOW THEY MISSED A COMA WGAF

Comment by Anonymous

I don't play hard to get, I play to get hard.

Stalked on 11/21/2011 @ 10:47am
The more I spend my time with you, the more I realize I don't wanna spend it with anyone else.

Win(5)
Stalked on 11/18/2011 @ 3:46am
Her: My eyes are up here. Me: Mine aren't.

Get a Life(3)
Stalked on 11/07/2011 @ 5:12pm
Any ladies out there wanna come over and reenact the animal crackers scene from Armageddon?

Epic(2)
Comment by Anonymous

unless you're a hot ass lesbian soliciting another hot ass lesbian for some Thespis debauchery!

Comment by Anonymous

for some reason this status is so stupid it pisses me off every time I come to this site to plagiarize a stupid status..... damn! your f**king up my world with your Dumbassitude. And by the way I pissed allover your damn animal crackers!

Stalked on 10/27/2011 @ 7:32am
I'm not the sharpest knife in the drawer but I'm a damn good screw

Get a Life(3)
Comment by Anonymous

Shouldn't it say I'm a ho instead??

Comment by Anonymous

shouldn't it say "I'm not the sharpest knife in the drawer but I'm a damn good fork" ??? hah

Stalked on 10/27/2011 @ 2:35am
Ladies it's only fair of me to inform you, in case you are diabetic, that I'm sweet. Also I have nuts.

Epic(4)
Comment by Anonymous

Sweet like RuPaul!

Stalked on 10/13/2011 @ 2:58am
It doesn't say it on my drivers license but I'm an organ donor. As a matter of fact I'm letting this chick borrow it as we speak.

Funny(2)
Comment by Anonymous

now that's funny...

Stalked on 10/10/2011 @ 4:00pm
Your clothes are making me extremely uncomfortable. Please, take them off.

Funny(2)
Stalked on 08/23/2011 @ 9:29am
People who comment "old", cut that shit out it's getting old.

Epic(7)
Comment by Anonymous

Foolish mortal I will banish you to the 8th demension

Comment by Anonymous

Suck ony nutsack you damn cat lover. I bet your dick is all furry from sticking it up your cat.s ass

Comment by Anonymous

Obviously all the cats going to the orgy care! Your just mad bro stop ragin on the computer

Comment by Anonymous

*rubs forehead twice* !

Comment by Anonymous

Who gives a f**k about your cat?

Comment by Anonymous

No i think it idic but like since it's only 3/4 that means the o is cut in half so I'm and idic! And my cat is having his annual cat orgy sonic you have a girl cat she can come! It's at my house btw

Comment by Anonymous

Then you'll be an idio.

Comment by Anonymous

What if I'm only 3/4 idiot?

Comment by Anonymous

Whoever just did that genius move is an idiot and a half

Comment by Anonymous

You no who else is getting old.......????? My Mom! OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Comment by Anonymous

This conversation is getting "old!"

Comment by Anonymous

Right...and who cares about you!

Comment by Anonymous

People who get mad over the internet are idiots. Who cares if they want to post "OLD"

Comment by Anonymous

But Whyyyy...if you already heard it then you'd know? It's supposed to make YOU laugh...fuck what your "friends" think. You only post the funny ones and that is only determined by your reaction upon reading them..not the age of the material you jackass

Comment by Anonymous

No, don't stop!... I want to know if someone went to another funny status site and reposted a funny status from 2 yrs ago. I don't want to post old shit on my fb.

Stalked on 08/22/2011 @ 2:59am
There must be something wrong with my eyes. I can't take them off you.

Funny(4)
Stalked on 07/18/2011 @ 12:11am
Dont take anything i say serious, unless im telling you to get naked... then you can proceed immediately...

Funny(3)
Stalked on 07/12/2011 @ 12:22pm
It's true that money can't buy happiness and that's because I don't charge anyone for sex.

Funny(5)
Stalked on 12/03/2010 @ 10:42pm
Can I have your number or do you just want the 8 dollars for the drink?

Epic(2)
Stalked on 12/03/2010 @ 5:47am
How does this babe magnet work?

Fail(2)

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