Stalked on 01/15/2013 @ 2:21am
I'd like to take this moment to thank my fans. Dyson air filtration fan, you've always been there. Honeywell oscillating fan, you complete me.

Epic(1)
Stalked on 07/12/2012 @ 4:44pm
I want to mount a flat screen TV on my wall and the instructions say I need a stud finder to locate the wood beams in the wall. What good is a MIRROR going to do..?

Fail(1)
Comment by Anonymous

SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO LAME

Stalked on 07/04/2012 @ 3:55am
When I wave my hands in the air, I wave them like I care. Because I'm emotional and shit. I care dammit.

Funny(1)
Stalked on 05/03/2012 @ 4:45pm
Does anyone know what I did with my yacht, vacation home in the Caribbean, diamond tiara and most of all.....my freakin keys to my Hyundai?

Funny(1)
Comment by Anonymous

Or what you did with the funny part of this status

Stalked on 04/25/2012 @ 2:03am
When windmills see tornados do they get excited or scared?

Fail(2)
Comment by Anonymous

None of the above..... they're a building

Stalked on 04/23/2012 @ 11:06pm
You write the things I feel before they even become thoughts.

Get a Life(2)
Comment by Anonymous

that statement is beyond gay.

Stalked on 04/09/2012 @ 6:51pm
To make a long story short: Once upon.

Funny(1)
Stalked on 04/06/2012 @ 4:10am
Sometimes a fantasy might be better left a fantasy... because nothing is harder than when the reality of that kind of dream crashes.

Get a Life(1)
Stalked on 04/04/2012 @ 12:44am
Nothing's better than catching up with your friends. (By "friends" I mean shows I recorded on myDVR.)

Funny(3)
Stalked on 04/01/2012 @ 6:11am
Dude this status is AMAZING!....April Fools.

Get a Life(2)
Stalked on 03/21/2012 @ 5:31am
"I'll meet you on a website, so you won't be lonely. I'll meet you on a website, so you won't be lonnnnellly!" -Bone Thugs eHarmony

Get a Life(3)
Stalked on 03/19/2012 @ 9:05pm
Put some whiskey in my coffee because it's Ireland somewhere.

Get a Life(2)
Stalked on 03/14/2012 @ 3:03am
The "Fresh Prince of Bel Air" theme caused me to start a lot of fights hoping I'd be shipped off to rich relatives.

Funny(2)
Stalked on 03/13/2012 @ 8:55am
we are ALL staring at computer screens, we have SO much in common!

Funny(2)
Comment by Anonymous

I believe the one who chooses whose status gets posted is Suthernfukr. Is anyone really surprised?

Comment by Anonymous

Haha the first comment is what made this funny

Comment by Anonymous

Whoever chooses which status' get posted to status stalker has no sense of humor and needs to be cut with a rusty blade.

Comment by Anonymous

If you're beating off, then we'd have TWO things in common!

Stalked on 03/12/2012 @ 7:22pm
If I was a farmer I'd name one of my cows Jagger and run around singing "I've Got the Moos Like Jagger" and I'd be popular among farmers.

Get a Life(5)
Comment by Anonymous

You know, it's really sad....Suthernfukr probably sits in a corner, in a fetal position waiting for someone to post something funny so he can copy and paste....so tragic.

Comment by Anonymous

gayest f**king status EVER!

Stalked on 03/11/2012 @ 4:43pm
Was just about to pump some iron but then I thought, "Does a rose need to wear perfume?"

Funny(4)
Stalked on 02/24/2012 @ 3:59pm
So "Linsanity" no longer refers to Lindsay Lohan but Jeremy Lin? What if they start dating, what then? The Adventures of LinLin?

Funny(3)
Comment by Anonymous

Suthernfukr's next major breakthrough.... He'll invent a DVD rewinder.

Comment by Anonymous

And Dane Cook steals comedy from every one else...so fuckin' what?

Comment by Anonymous

And Jeremy Lin has officially got game

Comment by Anonymous

You stole that from Dane Cook.....you're officially lame.

Stalked on 02/16/2012 @ 7:11pm
I haven't had secks in so long, I've even forgotten how to spell it.

Funny(4)
Stalked on 02/15/2012 @ 5:28am
knock knock. who's their? I think you mean "there." what do you want?

Funny(2)
Comment by Anonymous

are you retarded?

Comment by Anonymous

sounds similar to the comment arguments in every other post on here....

Stalked on 02/12/2012 @ 4:59pm
If I download a movie in Jamaica, am I a pirate of the Caribbean?

Get a Life(3)
Comment by Anonymous

I swear you people don't know how to use a fucking computer. QUIT DOUBBLE CLICKING SHIT.

Comment by Anonymous

Suthern, stop posting everything you find on Reddit and Imgur.

Comment by Anonymous

Suthern, stop posting everything you find on Reddit and Imgur.

Comment by Anonymous

Twice apparently...

Comment by Anonymous

No it makes you an idiot of earth.

Comment by Anonymous

No it makes you an idiot of earth.

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