Status Stalker: The Home of The Funny Status : Inspirational

Stalked on 03/10/2010 @ 10:12pm

Jesus may love you but I think you're a douche

Funny(8)

Stalked on 03/10/2010 @ 6:10pm

some people are like slinkies, not really good for anything but they bring a smile to your face when pushed down the stairs

Epic(4)

29 5 0

Stalked on 03/09/2010 @ 11:23pm

Keep your friends drunk, and your enemies drunker

Epic(7)

15 6 0

Stalked on 03/05/2010 @ 8:33pm

The greatest love, above all loves, Greater than that of a mother, Is the tender, passionate, undying love, Of one drunken slob for another.

Epic(2)

10 12 0

Stalked on 03/05/2010 @ 8:29pm

artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity

Epic(2)

20 4 0

Stalked on 03/05/2010 @ 8:19pm

Everybody wants to ride in the limo with you. The trick is to find someone who will take the bus with you when your limo breaks down.

Funny(2)

26 7 0

Stalked on 03/04/2010 @ 8:13pm

somewhere right now someone's legs just fell asleep on the toilet

Funny(3)

26 6 0

Stalked on 03/03/2010 @ 10:07pm

Rape is no laughing matter...unless your raping a clown.

Funny(6)

25 54 3

Comment by Anonymous

Retard

Comment by Anonymous

Then that's just fucking funny

Comment by Anonymous

unless my raping a clown? moron.

Stalked on 03/02/2010 @ 9:33pm

Don't let school get in the way of your education.

Epic(3)

37 9 0

Stalked on 02/25/2010 @ 7:40pm

Still in same clothes from last night, people are looking around for the smell of booze and puke, I turn my head to look for the culprit with them, inconspicuous win.

Funny(6)

34 15 0

Stalked on 02/18/2010 @ 6:13pm

Latest Man Law: When wrapping yourself with towel after stepping out of the shower, man is to wrap towel around the waist level. Man is not to wrap towel at the chest level, if this is done manhood will be questioned

Epic(3)

36 5 0

Stalked on 02/15/2010 @ 11:42pm

Silence is golden...Duct tape is silver...

Funny(8)

52 14 2

Comment by Anonymous

Lol you stole what I was gna say XD I bought mine down Wildwood Nj

Comment by Anonymous

I have this shirt :)

Stalked on 02/10/2010 @ 8:38pm

After just waking up..I schedule my day around naps.

Epic(13)

37 8 0

Stalked on 01/06/2010 @ 6:31pm

I gave up on making my first million, now Im on my second

Epic(5)

26 9 1

Comment by Anonymous

Call me.

Stalked on 12/29/2009 @ 11:13pm

Life is tough. It's even more tough if you're stupid.

Epic(7)

32 11 2

Comment by Anonymous

10-4

Comment by Anonymous

LOL

Stalked on 11/25/2009 @ 6:33am

if i had a nickel for everytime i had a nickel, i would have exactly double the amount of nickels that i have ever had.

Epic(5)

36 24 2

Comment by Anonymous

?

Comment by Anonymous

wow

Stalked on 11/11/2009 @ 8:54pm

were your parents assholes? becz u are the shit!

Funny(27)

254 105 5

Comment by Anonymous

your gay:D

Comment by Anonymous

hah! shane dawson did that one once...

Comment by Anonymous

Excuse me. What do you know about my parents bitch i will beat you down!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! thanks for calling me cool tho. but don't you ever call my parents assholes again got it baby???? YOu GOT IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Comment by Anonymous

mean!

Comment by Anonymous

lol

Stalked on 11/09/2009 @ 6:53pm

I feel bad 4 mondays. Everybody hates them!!!!

Epic(4)

29 23 0

Stalked on 11/04/2009 @ 9:53pm

I hate when women lie, so I lie to them back

Get a Life(4)

16 48 0