Stalked on 05/17/2012 @ 8:56am
Within 10 years, women will comprise over half the workforce. When it happens I can't wait for daytime talk shows to start being geared more towards unemployed men. "Coming up next, we'll get some tips on how to seem showered without actually having to and after that Dr. Steve will explain why your balls will sometimes start moving on their own when you sit on the couch!"

Get a Life(3)
Comment by Anonymous

Fuck this shit just let me put my dick inside..

Comment by Dilligaf13

Blonde. V V V V

Comment by Anonymous

I don't get it

Comment by Anonymous

Mine mo e to the rhythm of the beat!

Comment by Anonymous

I've always noticed they withdrawl inside me when I'm watching scary movies or in the cold.

Comment by Anonymous

Dont act like youve never wanted to know why they move like that

Comment by Anonymous

My balls start moving cause your mama's tonguing them.

Stalked on 05/17/2012 @ 4:43am
I was on a plane today. The stewardess said, "would you like some headphones?" I said, "sure, but how did you know my name was Phones?"

Fail(3)
Comment by Anonymous

I think this is hilarious because on my flight last night, the stewardess' name was Leah and she actually did give me head and swallowed my load. Thanks !!!!

Comment by Anonymous

Man...this seriously made me "lol"!

Comment by Anonymous

haha! i hope you didn't get slapped in the face

Comment by Anonymous

haha you wish!

Stalked on 05/16/2012 @ 6:44pm
Admit it, at some point in time you've tried to see if you had superpowers.

Funny(1)
Stalked on 05/16/2012 @ 6:37pm
I'm more worn out than a cucumber in a convent...

Funny(1)
Stalked on 05/16/2012 @ 4:16pm
When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.

Epic(1)
Stalked on 05/16/2012 @ 6:32am
Why do men have a hole in their penis?So oxygen can get to their brains.

Get a Life(4)
Comment by Anonymous

fuck your girl in my new wip now her pussy got the new car smell

Comment by Anonymous

Ha ha ha this is so funny you all know this is for fun just relax

Comment by Anonymous

Why do women have cunts? So men will talk to them.

Comment by Mostdopee

its for the money shot.. hahahah

Comment by Anonymous

So apparently no one can take joke.. lol to all the losers who have no life and comments nasty things about JOKE.

Comment by Anonymous

It's for the money shot...here...let me show you.

Comment by Anonymous

That's were women are suppose to preform CPR : )

Comment by Anonymous

so they can be open minded. duh!

Comment by Anonymous

I thought men enjoyed putting their faces in chum buckets and getting all stinky.

Comment by Anonymous

yeah, this is stupid. the hole is actually so men can PISS, you stupid ass bitch.

Comment by Anonymous

You should never surf with a woman, a shark can smell blood from a mile away and women bleed 3 months out of the year, their cunts are like ready serve chum buckets, no wonder soul surfer only had one arm

Comment by Anonymous

I guess we now know then why you have a hole in your vagina...

Comment by Anonymous

girls are really stupid

Comment by Anonymous

Alisa your starting to remind us of that whore Leah6666 dont be like that girl.. lol

Comment by Anonymous

that was fuken retarded

Comment by Anonymous

Nope, so they can pee

Stalked on 05/15/2012 @ 11:58am
I always win arguments with people on the internet because I do this super cool thing where I stop typing and log off.

Epic(1)
Comment by Anonymous

It's not forfeiting. When you argue with people on the Internet and trying to win it it's like running a race in the Special Olympics, you're both retards...wait

Comment by Anonymous

That's called forfeiting, not winning.

Comment by Anonymous

That's called forfeiting, not winning.

Stalked on 05/15/2012 @ 6:13am
I got food poisoning today. I don't know when I'll use it though.

Epic(3)
Comment by Anonymous

Drink spitting funny!!!!

Stalked on 05/14/2012 @ 10:37am
Drunk logic: "shes only ugly in the face"

Win(2)
Comment by Anonymous

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder...

Comment by Anonymous

Beauty is only a lightswitch away!

Stalked on 05/14/2012 @ 10:09am
Daughter: My friend said you look like an owl Me: Who Daughter: I'll let her know you sound like one too

Funny(2)
Stalked on 05/14/2012 @ 9:41am
1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. There are 5 people in my family, so it must be one of them. It's either my mom or my dad. Or my older brother Colin. Or my younger brother Ho-Cha-Chu. But I think it's Colin.

Funny(6)
Comment by Anonymous

That's fuckin' awesome, Leah.

Stalked on 05/14/2012 @ 12:12am
I was gonna make a gay joke, butt fuck it.

Funny(6)
Comment by Anonymous

Why you steal gay joke? You not funny on your own?

Comment by Anonymous

Damn, read this yesterday, but didn't get it until I read it today. That's funny

Comment by Anonymous

Lmao...really? Gay joke...cum on guys...that comment was funny.

Comment by Anonymous

Do you see what he did there?? I seamen!!!

Comment by Anonymous

Really? Gay jokes? Cum on guys....

Comment by Anonymous

old but still funny

Comment by Anonymous

MORE JOKES PLEASE!!! YOU DIRTY BASTARD YOU!!!

Comment by Anonymous

CRAZY ASS MOTHA FUCKA! IT'S SOO FUCKING HILARIOUS

Comment by Anonymous

HAHAHAHAHAH FUCKIN' AWESOME

Comment by Anonymous

HAHAHAHAHAHA...DAM THATS A GOOD ONE

Stalked on 05/13/2012 @ 5:43pm
If you love something, set it on fire. If it...wait, is that right? Oh shit! brb

Funny(6)
Stalked on 05/13/2012 @ 4:38pm
Things Our Mom's Would Never Say To Us How on earth can you see the TV sitting so far back?...Yeah, I used to skip school a lot, too Just leave all the lights on ... it makes the house look more cheery...Let me smell that shirt -- Yeah, it's good for another week" Go ahead and keep that stray dog, honey. I'll be glad to feed and walk him every day...The curfew is just a general time to shoot for. It's not like I'm running a prison around here... I don't have a tissue with me ... just use your sleeve" Don't bother wearing a jacket - the wind-chill is bound to improve

Funny(2)
Comment by Anonymous

OMG...How did this happen? I got a status finally posted....

Comment by Anonymous

I didnt even bother reading it.. Its a godamn essay

Comment by Despin

But funny!!!

Comment by Anonymous

OOOOHH my god this is long

Stalked on 05/12/2012 @ 8:45pm
If you ever Google "Grandfather Clock" be careful how you spell that shit.

Epic(3)
Stalked on 05/12/2012 @ 8:15pm
The only thing I can fix in this world tonight is another drink.

Funny(2)
Stalked on 05/12/2012 @ 3:30pm
And the NEXT time I see a pair of those rubber testicles hanging off the back of some dude's truck, I'm gonna cut them off and hand them to him!

Funny(1)
Stalked on 05/12/2012 @ 1:27pm
I saw that you "liked" my status. You want me, dont you?

Funny(3)
Comment by Anonymous

Yeah, I want you... I want you to stay the hell away from me, Needle Dick!

Comment by Anonymous

i want your pussy, not U

Comment by Anonymous

no, it's not that I actually want you. I just want to unload all of this cum into your ass.

Stalked on 05/11/2012 @ 6:28pm
Beautiful day to fly a kite out my sunroof.

Funny(1)
Stalked on 05/11/2012 @ 4:10pm
Just read where the creator of Red Bull died. It was the first time anyone saw him sleep.

Get a Life(1)
Comment by Anonymous

I posted this a month ago....

Comment by Anonymous

Yeah and you're like a month and a half behind, douchebag.

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