Stalked on 01/23/2013 @ 2:23am
I want an auctioneer to read my eulogy.

Funny(56)
Comment by Anonymous

hahahahaha :) ;) B|

Comment by Anonymous

wow nice post

Stalked on 01/22/2013 @ 2:52am
When my hands are cold I warm them between my thighs. Are your ears cold?

Funny(44)
Comment by Anonymous

I bet it smells like a shit house door on a tuna boat between your legs!

Stalked on 01/15/2013 @ 2:23am
I wonder what its like to fart in zero gravity. Does it like...propel you forward? These are things people need to know NASA!

Funny(48)
Stalked on 08/15/2012 @ 6:42am
If a man said he'll fix it, he will. There is no need to remind him every 6 months about it

Funny(49)
Comment by Anonymous

Only goes back about a year ago. So there goes that BEST STATUS OF THE YEAR bs.

Comment by Anonymous

Offensive. I hate women jokes, NOT ALL OF THEM ARE LIKE THAT.

Comment by Anonymous

Best Status of the YEAR* :)

Comment by Anonymous

Best Status of the YEAR* :)

Comment by Anonymous

I Don't get it ..

Comment by Anonymous

possibly the best status all month!!!!!!

Stalked on 08/15/2012 @ 3:54am
Every few years I come to the realization that I was such an idiot just a few years ago.

Funny(31)
Stalked on 06/12/2012 @ 11:36pm
I want the job where you push scared skydivers out of planes.

Funny(52)
Comment by Anonymous

F**king stupid

Comment by Anonymous

This status is so OLD comment in 3....2....1

Stalked on 05/07/2012 @ 4:18am
I believe in karma That means I can do bad things to people I don't like and assume they deserved it .

Funny(35)
Comment by Anonymous

As much as I believe in treating people kindly, no matter what, this status is fuckin' hilarious/gold. : )

Stalked on 05/02/2012 @ 3:54am
Turn your wounds into wisdom.

Fail(16)
Stalked on 05/01/2012 @ 8:01pm
Here's an idea, how about everyone stfu and quit bitching about lame posts and just steal statuses like you're here for anyways. Better yet, come up with your own shit if it's such a big deal you uncreative douches. Now let the dislikes and vulgar comments begin.

Epic(53)
Comment by Anonymous

Someone's got sand in his vagina

Comment by Anonymous

Dad! Is that you?

Comment by Anonymous

Beware the Anonymous net warrior, taking on the world one comment at a time.

Comment by Anonymous

f**k u fam,wat u gonna dp if i do random stuff on dis shit?huh?yea wat i thought...im 12 and i can beat ur srry ass

Comment by Anonymous

OP is a faggot

Comment by Anonymous

im 12 whats better to do im sorry

Comment by Anonymous

farts in your mouth

Comment by Anonymous

I need to take a dump

Comment by Anonymous

Cum Slut. Stay out of my territory.

Comment by Anonymous

Yeah, KING of the CRYING TOWELS

Comment by Anonymous

They should make you king for being so brave

Comment by Anonymous

Someone grab this guy a tissue..

Comment by Anonymous

What the fuck is wrong with you guy's? hahaha

Comment by Anonymous

lol who gets this mad about statuses on facebook?

Comment by Anonymous

what explains you being here?

Comment by Anonymous

Soooo, let me get this clear, you get on this website to bitch at people for getting on this website? You sir, can go f**k yourself.

Comment by Anonymous

Some ironic shit right there. Bitching about bitching.

Comment by Anonymous

Haha ur funny I like it !!!! Lol

Comment by Anonymous

Don't talk about other people!! Your the one who's on this website!

Comment by Anonymous

Lmao! Genius! Haha

Comment by Anonymous

Tell 'em how it is!

Comment by Anonymous

stfu "Wow, there`s a lot of immature children on the internet these days.." thats beast haha lmfao!!

Comment by Anonymous

Wow, there`s a lot of immature children on the internet these days..

Comment by Anonymous

You're filed under "epic" wth more do you want? lol All Hail The CREATOR of status....... Feel Better?

Comment by Anonymous

you have 99 likes and the bitch below doesnt have one :D

Comment by Leah6666

But thanks for always thinking of me!!! muahahahhaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Comment by Leah6666

nah, all my status's are posted with my name..

Comment by Anonymous

Thank you to the below! I do work my ass off trying to make you people happy, and I've realized there's no way to do that. I've posted over 13,000 statues for you all!

Comment by Anonymous

for just one moment, try to be nice. Someone goes to alot of trouble to post statuses on this site for everyone to enjoy. Unfortunately, there are some people out there that are always going to complain. I am sure most people who visit statusstalker enjoy the site. Others have no life and just like to make potty mouth, gross, immature comments. Such is life.

Comment by Anonymous

ahhhhh entertainment. you guys are so brutal on here for no reason. i think we should throw a couple of u in the hunger games, duke it out n see who surives ;)

Comment by Anonymous

white trash at its finest lol

Comment by Anonymous

Wow, really? How old are you guys? I think it's your bedtime now, I hear your mommy calling.

Comment by Anonymous

Some of you are such idiots I swear. To the "number one" idiot anonymously ranting about rape...the site administrators know exactly who you are even if we don't (and thank God for that!). Write some more dumb shit that can be used in court when you do something else stupid and get investigated. I can't wait til you have to explain yourself in front of judge for the crap you write...and is forever locked into the cyber world. You asshat!

Comment by Anonymous

How do u steal a status when they all suck I'd like to see someone use these statuses on fb Haha you got 1 like from mom

Comment by Anonymous

Wow, after posting this I expected hardcore negative feedback, now I have a raging boner for every one of you and am gonna choke on a cactus and think about you all tonight. <3

Comment by Anonymous

oviously this is sothernf**ker or his whore leah666

Comment by Anonymous

its obvious there is a law agains shooting stupid people or commenter number 2 would have been taken from this earth a long ago

Comment by Anonymous

Bahahaha I think its funny.....

Comment by Anonymous

Dude... i just itched the inner ring of my asshole and a minute later I started biting my nails. Totally f**king forgot. Fml

Comment by Anonymous

WHOEVER POSTED THIS CAN FUCKING DIE! I WANT TO RAPE YOUR FAMILY IN FRONT OF YOU, THEN SKULL FUCK YOUR EYE SOCKET!

Comment by Anonymous

*vulgar comment*

Stalked on 04/27/2012 @ 6:27pm
Somewhere in the world right now a honeybadger is sitting alone crying because no one believes that he DOES care.

Funny(20)
Comment by Anonymous

This is bullshit

Stalked on 04/14/2012 @ 7:58am
Life is only as great as the risks you're willing to take.

Funny(14)
Stalked on 04/13/2012 @ 2:51am
I don't always post updates...but when I do, I prefer status stalker...stay lazy my friends.

Funny(30)
Comment by Anonymous

best then original!!

Stalked on 04/12/2012 @ 8:51pm
Many things give us joy in life, but not nearly as much joy as finding money in a parking lot.

Funny(19)
Comment by Anonymous

Haha, true that!

Stalked on 04/10/2012 @ 10:40am
New Rule: If I hold the door open for you and you walk by without thanking me I am guaranteed at least one attempt at trying to trip you.

Funny(34)
Comment by Anonymous

Not half as rude as replacing the sweets with vegetables and exercise tapes in fat peoples carts at Wal-Mart. ;)

Comment by Anonymous

I like holding doors for fat people while they are still 50 feet away from the door,,,Makes them fat asses RUN a bit

Comment by Anonymous

that is kinda rude tho

Stalked on 04/01/2012 @ 9:58am
Thank you for giving me pieces of your heart to fill in the breaks in mine.

Funny(9)
Comment by Anonymous

how is this funny?...

Comment by Anonymous

Yes it's just the pieces we need to mend a heart.

Stalked on 03/30/2012 @ 5:46am
Leonardo DiCaprio never died in Titanic. Last scene: him going underwater. 1st Scene in Inception: him waking up on a beach.

Funny(24)
Comment by Anonymous

And he sold the diamond to become the great gatsby. Haha

Comment by Anonymous

is it true....coz i have seen the movie bt i didn't notice it....

Comment by Anonymous

Mermaids saved him...

Comment by Anonymous

You're only 2 years late.

Comment by Anonymous

someone already thought of this post

Comment by Anonymous

got me reminiscing on these good times

Comment by Anonymous

What is with these old posts?

Stalked on 03/29/2012 @ 1:40am
The happiness of your life...depends on the quality of your thoughts.

Win(10)
Comment by Anonymous

i founf 69 like so i added one 'not cus it funny)

Stalked on 03/12/2012 @ 11:12pm
So, to put a positive spin on Daylight Savings Time, instead of "losing an hour of sleep" on a Saturday...we should put our clocks ahead at 4pm on a Wednesday, it would be "leave work early day".

Funny(8)
Stalked on 03/09/2012 @ 7:23am
I've always wanted to get into a cab and yell, 'Follow that car!!!'

Funny(27)
Comment by Anonymous

What is with these f**king idiots reposting OLD COMMENTS like they ACTUALLY came up with them???????

Comment by Anonymous

i wanna do that to

Comment by Anonymous

comment below... EPIC

Comment by Anonymous

comment below... EPIC

Comment by Anonymous

*Reply to the posts beginning with "Yeah."* Don't take things too literally, you scrotum. In order to get to where you want to go on Cash Cab (and win money), you have to correctly answer questions. Do you realize how frustrating it would be if that didn't happen and you REALLY had to follow someone? Geez.

Comment by Anonymous

I think he was joking ya dip ;)

Comment by Anonymous

Yeah, you lost.

Comment by Anonymous

Yeah....okay. You were on Cash Cab. Uh huh. And that's relevant to this post how? Oh right, it's not.

Comment by Anonymous

I've done that. It turned out to be Cash Cab and you know how that works.

Stalked on 03/04/2012 @ 4:24am
ALL relationships go through shit. REAL relationships get through shit.

Funny(24)
Comment by Anonymous

57 women corrupted by the media brainwashing disliked this

Comment by Anonymous

makes sense to me :)

Comment by Anonymous

fosho homie fa hizzle. im down wit dat. sound like da truth to me dog!

Comment by Anonymous

It makes complete sense, so many relationships today are broken because many people dont know how to deal with their problems. Real relationships are when people care enough to not give up regardless of how bad things may be

Comment by Anonymous

this doesnt make any sense

Comment by Anonymous

whats the difference between ALL and REAL.

Comment by Lamp

Does that mean I'm in a relationship with my toilet, then?

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