Status Stalker: The Home of The Funny Status : Food Status Updates

Stalked on 01/15/2013 @ 2:57am

I'm posing nude for this Sandwich Artist whether he & the lunch rush likes it or not.

Funny(2)

17 21 0

Stalked on 07/25/2012 @ 2:56am

Sometimes I order fajitas at a restaurant just to get more attention.

Epic(1)

18 7 3

Comment by Anonymous

when you get the fajitas they're usually sizzling loud and have steam pouring out of them....people look he gets attention. badda bing badda boom status ruined

Comment by Anonymous

when you get the fajitas they're usually sizzling loud and have steam pouring out of them....people look he gets attention. badda bing badda boom status ruined

Comment by Anonymous

i dont get it??

Stalked on 04/23/2012 @ 10:48pm

Your initials are irrelevant if they're on something I want in the refrigerator at work.

Funny(1)

8 12 2

Comment by Anonymous

I shot a load in that Frappuccino you drank this morning just for you! Thanks for taking the jerk bait!

Comment by Anonymous

Get your own Chinese leftovers, Dickhead! That's my lunch!

Stalked on 04/06/2012 @ 4:20am

Got a twelve inch sub. Going to eat the first half now and save the second half for dinner oops already ate the entire thing.

Get a Life(8)

13 55 5

Comment by Anonymous

Huh??

Comment by Anonymous

My dick is 3 inches... Hard. U mad?

Comment by Anonymous

[---------------12"--------------] He said. [--------7"---------] She thought. [---3"---] But when his pants dropped!

Comment by Anonymous

I have a 12" you could eat.

Comment by Anonymous

That's what she said

Stalked on 02/05/2012 @ 4:03am

The Super Bowl is just another excuse to stuff a pizza crust with hot wings.

Fail(2)

9 14 0

Stalked on 01/27/2012 @ 4:10am

Someone should make a kind of pizza where the toppings are just really tiny pizzas.

Funny(2)

35 12 1

Comment by Anonymous

Stalked on 01/21/2012 @ 7:54am

I found love in a hostess cake.

Funny(1)

24 4 0

Stalked on 01/03/2012 @ 5:23pm

Eating some food from last year.

Get a Life(3)

13 24 2

Comment by Anonymous

thats gay.

Comment by Anonymous

thats gay.

Stalked on 12/25/2011 @ 6:31pm

Sit down: lift up your right leg, rotate your right foot clockwise, now, with your right index finger draw a number 6 in the air. Weird.

Fail(1)

7 20 3

Comment by Anonymous

Yep.... I feel retarded also...

Comment by Anonymous

My foot will switch with my finger

Comment by Anonymous

nothing happened, except now i feel retarded..

Stalked on 11/18/2011 @ 3:32am

Driving and I want to get into this pizza box so bad I finally get what it must feel like to be a dude dating a tease.

Epic(1)

10 19 0

Stalked on 11/14/2011 @ 7:16am

I know we did it three times last night, and once more this morning, but I can't get enough of you, leftover pizza.

Funny(2)

10 26 1

Comment by Anonymous

uuuummmm wtf did u do to that pizza homeboy??

Stalked on 11/14/2011 @ 7:08am

Dear Pancakes, Do you have little compartments for syrup? No? I didn't think so. Sincerely, Waffles.

Funny(3)

33 9 0

Stalked on 11/12/2011 @ 10:57am

After several experiments I've determined it's impossible to overdose on cheese.

Get a Life(2)

18 9 4

Comment by Anonymous

Confirmed your theory on Dunkin Donuts... damn that was worth it!!

Comment by Anonymous

That's not what they were after. You think too much into it.

Comment by Anonymous

Cheese binds you, it does not give you the shits my friend.

Comment by Anonymous

till u shit ur pants...

Stalked on 11/09/2011 @ 4:34am

Excuse me, waiter? My fajitas aren't loud enough.

Funny(1)

12 11 0

Stalked on 11/07/2011 @ 4:22pm

Sometimes you just have to eat a sandwich that's the size of your head.

Funny(1)

0 0 0

Stalked on 11/06/2011 @ 7:26pm

I'm about to get in the middle of some girl-on-girl action with Aunt Jemima and Mrs. Butterworth.

Funny(3)

48 7 0

Stalked on 10/29/2011 @ 12:05pm

Old people act like eating hard candy will make them live forever.

Funny(3)

15 13 1

Comment by Anonymous

this made me laugh because i remember my grandfather used to eat hard candy and he seriously ate them like they were the only thing keepin him alive, i miss him( apparently they are not effective)

Stalked on 10/29/2011 @ 11:41am

Fast food orders sound even more appetizing after the drive thru attendant reads them back.

Funny(1)

14 13 0

Stalked on 10/29/2011 @ 11:33am

Eating while laying down is way harder than it should be.

Funny(3)

21 7 0

Stalked on 10/29/2011 @ 11:05am

Cereal is a good choice when you're high because you can eat and drink at the same time.

Win(4)

26 10 1

Comment by Anonymous

Hell yeah. I always eat cereal when I'm high for that very reason.

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Food Status Updates

Most of us have a love hate relationship with food, so much so that that we create funny food sayings and quotes. This collection of funny food statuses just shows the extreme's we go to in our relationships with food. If you love food let me get a hell yeah!

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