Stalked on 10/10/2011 @ 11:39pm
I have a bunch of explicit scenarios ready for the next time someone says "guess what!"
Stalked on 09/28/2011 @ 5:23pm
I play this fun game with ladies called "just the tip," where I refuse to pay for anything other than the gratuity at dinner.
Stalked on 09/07/2011 @ 7:01am
There would be a lot less entering of "Do not enter" areas if they didn't have a "Do not enter" sign.
Stalked on 09/06/2011 @ 5:20pm
The Mayan Calendar says the world will end on Dec 21, 2012, which really means a lot of babies will be born on Sept 21, 2013.
Stalked on 09/06/2011 @ 4:35pm
Never trust anyone who picks Sub-Zero in Mortal Kombat, Akuma in Street Fighter, Eddie in Tekken, Kasumi in DOA, or Luigi in Super Smash.
Stalked on 08/30/2011 @ 7:40am
My phone loves it when you text. Its little face lights up bursts into beeps & has your name written all over it!
Stalked on 08/25/2011 @ 11:57pm
I say ouch before I'm even sure I'm hurt, just to be safe.
Stalked on 08/25/2011 @ 7:47pm
The iPad 3 and iPhone 5 will be unbelievable. Everything else after that... meh.
Stalked on 08/20/2011 @ 6:46am
I'm a nounaphobic. I hate people, places and things.
Stalked on 08/18/2011 @ 5:40am
If someone says "I love you," and you don't feel the same way, say "I love Youtube" really fast.
Stalked on 08/18/2011 @ 5:34am
I hate waking up early every day and I'm about to overuse exclamation points to make you understand how much!!!!!!!
Stalked on 08/15/2011 @ 10:50am
I used to like to get glue on my fingers so I could peel it off when it dried. I dunno why I brought that up, but I know I'm not alone here.
Stalked on 08/13/2011 @ 11:14pm
I can sum up my life in three words: "just browsing, thanks."
Stalked on 08/12/2011 @ 6:18am
When someone tells me to guess something and I don't but they keep telling me to try, I start to guess they want to be punched in the face.
Stalked on 08/09/2011 @ 11:31pm
I don't do dishes. When I'm done eating, I smash plates on the floor and walk out of the dining room like a rockstar.
Stalked on 08/09/2011 @ 3:11am
Sitting here watching thousands of dollars worth of food be thrown away on Hell's Kitchen while I eat my Ramen.
Stalked on 08/06/2011 @ 3:12am
I bet the reason the US is so happy about the possibility of finding life on Mars is so we can borrow money from them.
Stalked on 08/05/2011 @ 9:13am
Only AT&T lets your iPhone talk and surf the web... intermittently, outside, in a major city, sometimes.
Stalked on 08/05/2011 @ 8:54am
I can't believe we made a movie that is essentially giving the apes a blueprint on how to take over the Earth.
Stalked on 08/04/2011 @ 4:06am
I wish running scenarios through my mind burned calories.
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