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Posted 2011-01-25T00:02:28+01:00
I only have a Facebook to see where everyone is at, so I can avoid running into them.

Funny(4)
4290
Posted 2011-01-24T23:17:41+01:00
Here officer, hold my beer while I find my license.

Funny(8)
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Comment by Eminem

Luul. vvvvvv

Comment by Anonymous

i like it anyway

Comment by Anonymous

Drinking and driving isn't even funny... so there fore.... Epic Fail on this status! ! ... Ask someone who has lost a loved one from a drunk driver THEN like this status!...

Posted 2011-01-24T22:54:26+01:00
they say forgive and forget. but never forget why you had to forgive.

Win(4)
41100
Posted 2011-01-24T22:23:48+01:00
If you don't have something nice to wear, then don't wear anything at all.

Funny(3)
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Posted 2011-01-24T22:05:04+01:00
I just turned 288 months.

Funny(2)
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Posted 2011-01-24T22:03:48+01:00
No matter how hard we try to be perfect, we'll still end up making a mistake.

Funny(3)
2280
Posted 2011-01-24T22:02:21+01:00
Nothing makes crazy people happier than having a microphone.

Funny(3)
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Posted by Bnicoleox 2011-01-24T22:01:23+01:00
Break the rules, drink some shots, live your life, and laugh a lot.

Epic(2)
2280
Posted 2011-01-24T21:57:33+01:00
Prank: Get car chalk and write "Just Married" on every car in a Walmart parking lot.

Funny(5)
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Posted 2011-01-24T21:57:20+01:00
There would be less drunk driving in the world if Taco Bell delivered!

Funny(4)
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Posted 2011-01-24T21:49:42+01:00
In my office knowing keyboard shortcuts is considered witchcraft.

Win(3)
2883
Comment by Bnicoleox

lol i posted so many and the last three which were about tbell and makin mistake were mine

Comment by Anonymous

It has to be approved to make sure it follows the terms of use.

Comment by Bnicoleox

i tried postin a funny one and it doesnt show up

Posted 2011-01-24T21:46:52+01:00
Everyone's automatically single once they enter Las Vegas airspace, right?

Funny(3)
3350
Posted 2011-01-24T21:32:12+01:00
I wonder how many Dads name their boy's Luke just so they can tell him, "Luke, I am your father."

Funny(8)
6691
Comment by Anonymous

6 people are from the dark side.

Posted 2011-01-24T21:30:36+01:00
Life Goal: make it to the bottom of my chapstick before losing it.

Epic(6)
5980
Posted 2011-01-24T21:27:07+01:00
How do people drink milk with dinner?

Funny(2)
12260
Posted 2011-01-24T20:35:23+01:00
AND YOU GET A HALF SISTER! AND YOU GET A HALF SISTER! AND YOU GET A HALF SISTER!

Epic(6)
24806
Comment by Anonymous

OHHHHHH!!!!!

Comment by Anonymous

**oprah

Comment by Anonymous

its opera, she has a half sister she found out about...too funny

Comment by Anonymous

i don't get it????

Comment by Anonymous

I agree! So funny!

Comment by Anonymous

i dont know why but this epic and truly funny!! i lmao for like 10 mins

Posted 2011-01-24T20:34:43+01:00
Everything Bagels are a lie! Where are the M&M's?

Epic(2)
11320
Posted 2011-01-24T18:11:36+01:00
When life gives you a hundred reasons to cry, show life that you have a thousand reasons to smile.

Epic(3)
3570
Posted 2011-01-24T05:20:11+01:00
I refuse to vacuum until they make huge roombas I can ride around the room.

Funny(2)
20191
Comment by Despin

slob!!!

Posted 2011-01-24T05:15:20+01:00
Sometimes I think Facebook is trying to insult me by some of its friend suggestions.

Funny(11)
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