Funny Epic Win Get A Life Fail Share
My inbox is overflowing with a thousand plus emails plus. Looks like it's time to sign up for a new one.
I get the feeling that I need coffee more than coffee will ever need me..
Sometimes I think NASA is making shit up just to see if anyone's listening.
Got a BIG night planned tonight for my computer and I.
Why does every wireless provider say that they have the best, fastest, most covered 4G network? Someone's lying.
I have never used a coupon in my life
When I really like a girl, I take her home to meet my parents so she understands why I can never get married.
Since it takes more energy to frown than it does to smile, you can help someone trying to lose weight by making fun of them.
Facebook is only good for one thing: remembering birthdays.
"Lolz" Shouldnt be used by a guy
I only give my pets names that would also be good passwords.
Anybody know of a good job for someone that hates people and working?
Let my grandma listen to some sick fist pump music the other day. She said it sounded like crazy robot farts.
So now that the game is over, you fellas should probably check your wallet to see what credit card your girl maxed out in the last 4 hours.
If dunk texting were a degree I'd have my masters by now.
If I ever mess anything up I am just gonna say--"its not like I sung the national anthem wrong in front of the whole world or something"
I bet Ben Roethlisberger is bummed he couldn't force that win in.
The real winner here is obviously the color yellow
Kanye, the Superbowl Halftime Show was probably the best opportunity for you to legitimately interrupt something and not be hated by the entire country the fllowing day. Way to miss your chance at redemption..
Patrick Swayze is cussing in heaven right now.
Total Number of Statuses:20447
Recent Funny Statuses If you need a funny status for your facebook or Twitter, Status Stalker has the largest collection of the funniest statuses. Every wants people to like their status updates so make your worth liking by making your friends laugh instead of posting what you had for lunch.
Facebook Addict Intervention Parody