Funny Epic Win Get A Life Fail Share
Those of you who think you know everything are annoying those of us who do.
I would agree with you, but then we'd both be wrong.
Sometimes I feel like only Google understands what I'm trying to say...
Just joined a large group to teach me to be more of an individual..
Life crisis brought on by the internet: I have to scroll down pretty far to enter my year of birth
Dear tongue, can't touch this. Love, Elbow.
we all know "watch a movie" means "I wanna be in the dark with you"
The Oscars are a bad SNL with trophies.
Charlie Sheen just tested negative for all drugs. However, all drugs tested positive for Charlie Sheen.
As kids we want to be adults who can do whatever they want and as adults we wish we were kids who can do whatever they want
Liver repair progress= 30% -what a weekend!!
I'm a lot like a GPS: perfectly capable of telling people where to go and how to get there.
Ever want to answer every question with a middle finger? That's kinda where I'm at today.
A new study shows that smart people tend to drink more. But I already knew I'm smarter with alcohol. And chattier. And funnier. And regrettier.
Now I completely understand why Oscar is a grouch.
Telling someone why you love them is like explaining what water tastes like
My stomach hurts because people keep feeding me bullshit and I'm gonna throw it all up in their faces.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce you deleted and blocked. You may now kiss my ass
If you need a friend (text me) need a laugh (call me) need a hug (stop by) need money (this number is no longer in service)
Take your time, think alot. Think of everything you've got. For you will still be here tomorrow, but your dreams may not.
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