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Posted 2013-05-16T16:23:14+02:00
A guy who sweeps you off your feet is in the perfect position to drop you on your ass

Funny(4)
Posted 2013-05-16T14:06:52+02:00
I'm a responsible person. People are always saying "I know you're responsible for this."

Funny(4)
Posted 2013-05-16T09:31:53+02:00
Trying to understand women is like trying to smell the color nine.

Funny(2)
Posted by Jddotson 2013-05-16T04:04:03+02:00
There should be a "like" option for texting. That way you know your message was received and acknowledged without the awkward "lol" when a response isn't necessary.

Epic(1)
Posted 2013-05-15T20:28:51+02:00
Am I the only one who finds girls more attractive in underwear, than completely naked?

Get a Life(6)
Comment by Anonymous

oversized labia!? What kind of beasts are u fucking?

Comment by Anonymous

Get laid much?

Comment by Anonymous

v That's only if they have oversized labia.

Comment by Anonymous

Some bitches are hotter in fancy panties.

Comment by Anonymous

Builds the Anticipation!!

Comment by Anonymous

Agreed, underwear over naked, leaves something to thr imagination

Comment by Anonymous

I'm the same with guys It's the sensuality of it

Comment by Anonymous

V-----baaaahhhhaaaaahhhaaaaa!!!

Comment by Anonymous

Well, just you and the rest of the gay guys...

Posted 2013-05-15T18:44:12+02:00
College is like a big fun waterslide, but when you get to the bottom there are a million people in the pool and no water.

Fail(5)
Comment by Anonymous

Maybe only the ones who thought a major in Art was a wise decision..

Posted 2013-05-15T18:37:29+02:00
Can't decide if I want to put my soup in the microwave for 30 seconds & have luke warm soup or 31 seconds & have 3rd degree mouth burns..

Funny(5)
Comment by Anonymous

Ive never seen a bigger congregation of unfunny retards than I've found on this stupid site.

Comment by Anonymous

Lmao you do have no sense of humour, listen to yourselves hahahaha I agree with the comment below. Shut up already hahahahahahahaha these comments are funny!

Comment by Anonymous

The one whining is the one who probably posted it. Stop crying about the stupid joke and go have your mommy make you a sandwich. It'll all be better...

Comment by Anonymous

☻• »Łσł« •☻ u no it's bad when he tells us we no sense o humour re below comment

Comment by Anonymous

Shut the fuck up and laugh you serious fucken cunts with no sense of humour..

Comment by Anonymous

It isn't even funny

Comment by Anonymous

If the idiots that keep bitching about this would just open the microwave halfway through, and fucking stir the shit, maybe it would be just right.. Hmm one less shitty thing to make a status about.. Don't worry guys we CAN stop shitty status posting.. One dumbfuck at a time..

Posted 2013-05-15T18:35:58+02:00
I am not afraid of heights, deep water, and love. I am afraid of falling, drowning, and a broken heart.

Funny(3)
Comment by Anonymous

What a pussy, go post your gay ass shit somewhere else

Comment by Anonymous

You're afraid of pussy.

Posted 2013-05-15T18:35:43+02:00
A high five so freakin amazing that it's celebrated with another high five.

Get a Life(9)
Comment by Anonymous

hell heck yeah!!!!!!

Comment by Anonymous

52 thumbs down so far? This just might be the most hated status ever. Whoever posted this bullshit, I hope u get butt-raped by Shaq

Comment by Anonymous

Wtf!!... Moderator, do your job here!!

Posted 2013-05-15T18:33:28+02:00
I go out of my way to avoid interacting with the guy that wears cologne at the office and oh my god I just realized he's a genius.

Get a Life(2)
Posted 2013-05-15T18:30:08+02:00
I wish the bags under my eyes had weed in them.

Get a Life(6)
Comment by Anonymous

v It's only funny to pot heads. And it's only funny to them because they are dumb and laugh at everything.

Comment by Anonymous

First commentors, get off status stalker, you obviosly have no sense of humor. Its clever, go bacl to getting raped by your step dads

Comment by Anonymous

VV White Trash VV

Comment by Anonymous

I actually thought this status was friggin hilarious...the first 3 commenters must have a stick up their ass. You know that shit is funny!

Comment by Anonymous

@ first commenter: I wish the space in between your anus had my dick in it

Comment by Anonymous

Fucking white trash.

Comment by Anonymous

Get a job you hippie.

Comment by Anonymous

I wish the space between your ears had a brain in it

Posted 2013-05-15T18:28:15+02:00
I need a "previously on your life" recap for the things I didn't pay attention to.

Get a Life(3)
Posted 2013-05-15T18:23:42+02:00
A lot of people believe Yoga is good exercise but I think it's a stretch

Get a Life(3)
Posted 2013-05-15T08:20:42+02:00
Maybe the goat doesn't moderate this site well enough because he keeps getting caught by his boss.

Fail(2)
Comment by Anonymous

Poor little retard.

Comment by Anonymous

Aww ain't children cute. Keep trying deary

Posted 2013-05-15T07:01:33+02:00
Wake up in the morning & I ask myself, is life worth living or should I blast myself? Then I remember that those are just lyrics to a song, I'm not that dramatic and I've got stuff to do.

Fail(4)
Comment by Anonymous

Fuck! You ARE the moderator aren't you?

Comment by Anonymous

VVVV yeah what this bag of human waste said!! Move along people.

Comment by Anonymous

This is also good for people who waste time being "offended." You have stuff to do...and if you don't, find something to do other than getting offended.

Posted by Rollincool 2013-05-15T06:21:07+02:00
If they took ALL the porn off the internet, there'd be a bunch of website asking for the porn back!

Fail(7)
Comment by Anonymous

Go hang yourself, you desperate retarded moron.

Posted by Try2stopme 2013-05-15T06:09:37+02:00
I have decided to leave my past behind me.. so If I owe you money..I'm sorry. but I've moved on.

Epic(6)
Posted by Try2stopme 2013-05-15T06:07:55+02:00
If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of payments.

Funny(5)
Comment by Anonymous

Old is suppose to be GOLD... Haha

Comment by Anonymous

Old as my Grandfathers buckskin rubber

Comment by Anonymous

Old ass fucking repost

Comment by Anonymous

v Shut up, idiot.

Comment by Anonymous

Stephanie Wrong Bitch!!

Comment by Anonymous

Stephen Wright

Posted 2013-05-15T04:55:06+02:00
Why is the 'It's Complicated' button only for 'In a Relationship' and not for 'Family', 'Career', 'Beliefs', 'Age' or 'Friends'?

Epic(3)
Comment by Anonymous

Yea wtf is up with that?

Comment by Anonymous

''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''

Comment by Anonymous

What's up with all the apostophes?

Posted 2013-05-15T04:50:52+02:00
"American Pie" ruined it for any kid that actually DOES have an amazing story from band camp.

Funny(4)
Comment by Anonymous

I have amazing stories too and some of them DO include your mom.

Comment by Anonymous

Oh...'cause you're a fucking stuck up dumbass jock asshole?

Comment by Anonymous

Says someone who obviously wasn't in band. Get over yourself. I have amazing stories. Some of them might include your Mom...

Comment by Anonymous

v Lol. Exactly.

Comment by Anonymous

No, I'm sorry. If you if you went to band camp ... you DON'T have an amazing story.


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