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Posted 2014-08-18T21:22:50+02:00
I go $100 to $0 homie real quick.

Get a Life(1)
Comment by Anonymous

Yes, so please keep working hard so I can get mo money.

Comment by Anonymous

Those welfare checks sure do go fast huh?

Comment by Anonymous

Fucking illiterate urban fucks. Why don't they ever die faster?

Comment by Anonymous

I just lost every IQ point I thought I had

Posted 2014-08-18T21:17:04+02:00
I think the creators of Grand Theft Auto vastly underestimated the amount of drivers wearing their seat belts when you're out hijacking cars

Funny(1)
Posted 2014-08-18T20:57:16+02:00
Orgasms are alot like pizza. As long as I have pizza I don't really care if you don't have any pizza.

Funny(2)
Comment by Anonymous

And just like real life, I am sure you eat your pizza alone all the time but you eat it with your other hand sometimes for variety.

Posted 2014-08-18T20:49:55+02:00
If you tell a cop you're sad, he legally has to hug you.

Get a Life(1)
Comment by Anonymous

Except in MO.

Posted 2014-08-18T20:41:53+02:00
Do you even lift...your hands to the heavens in praise of our lord and savior bro?

Get a Life(4)
Comment by Anonymous

He cares about the person saying it and what they perceive HIM to be. It breaks my heart some refuse to accept the love of Christ.

Comment by Anonymous

Why would a God care what is being said on the Internet about him?

Comment by Anonymous

V Let me know how that works out for you.

Comment by Anonymous

our lord and saviour, Satan

Comment by Anonymous

VV Like I care about the opinion of someone too stupid to figure out where the caps lock key is, asshat.

Comment by Anonymous

He loves you anyways vvvvv

Comment by Anonymous

GET THIS CLOSED MINDED BRAIN WASHED MENTALITY OFF OF MY STATUS STALKER! I'M HERE TO LAUGH. JESUS WILL BE HERE RIGHT AFTER SANTA CLAUS SHOWS UP.

Posted 2014-08-18T20:40:32+02:00
Am I the only one who thinks the Pringles guy and Monopoly guy are related?

Epic(3)
Posted 2014-08-18T01:13:46+02:00
For some reason it's a lot easier to pick the lock on a safe if you're wearing a tuxedo

Funny(2)
Posted 2014-08-18T01:01:48+02:00
I'm at my best mathematically when I wake up before the time my alarm is set for

Funny(3)
Posted 2014-08-18T01:00:25+02:00
The "fuck her right in the pussy" guy deserves a Nobel prize or something

Fail(10)
Comment by Anonymous

Not funny, stay off of here.

Comment by Anonymous

v You're a fuckin' retard.

Comment by Anonymous

Shut up you goddamn muthafuckers. As a Political Science major, I could send your asses to jail.

Comment by Anonymous

V you seem to be stupid police today instead of being I'm so angry and hate everyone guy

Comment by Anonymous

No. Try and follow along. That was the answer 3 below that that anonymous fuck gave. You are too stupid to play here it seems, so maybe you should go back to watching sesame street.

Comment by Anonymous

That was your answer? Fag..

Comment by Anonymous

V Answer to the $100 Jepordy question: What have you never done with a live woman?

Comment by Anonymous

FUCK HER RIGHT IN THE PUSSY!

Comment by Anonymous

Says the "I suck cock all day for a living" guy.

Posted 2014-08-18T00:57:15+02:00
The real power of a man... Is the size of the smile on his woman's face sitting next to him.

Get a Life(6)
Posted 2014-08-18T00:53:17+02:00
Statistically, 6 out of 7 dwarves aren't happy

Funny(3)
Comment by Anonymous

But they all will say hi to your mom the ho as off to work they go.

Posted 2014-08-18T00:50:41+02:00
The girlfriend pisses me off so much, I wanna grow old with her just to watch her die

Funny(2)
Posted by Ephrem707 2014-08-17T21:18:51+02:00
Cats have been named the #1 pet held hostage by lonely women.

Funny(2)
Comment by Anonymous

v Lol, you sound like a huge cunt. Go hug your mom, bitch.

Comment by Ephrem707

You know you make yourself look stupid when you don't know anything about the person you're trying to troll right? I'm in a relationship. Don't be mad because the movie 40 Year Old Virgin is based off of your life.

Comment by Anonymous

And they prefer them to you.

Posted 2014-08-16T04:25:56+02:00
Whenever I see people lined up outside a club on Friday night, I just think "look at all these poor people who don't know Netflix exists."

Epic(4)
Posted 2014-08-15T21:22:37+02:00
Would you rather be buried alive in a coffin full of bats -OR- listen to all your voicemails?

Funny(2)
Posted 2014-08-15T21:20:38+02:00
Sometimes I mop the carpet just so my wife doesn't ask me to help with stuff.

Fail(2)
Comment by Anonymous

Haha this is pretty funny. Thanks for posting it!

Comment by Anonymous

Liar, you don't have a wife.

Posted 2014-08-15T21:20:21+02:00
Hey girl, are you an angel? Because your hair's in my pasta. I'd like to speak to the manager.

Fail(4)
Comment by Anonymous

V says volumes about your circle of friends.

Comment by Anonymous

This joke got plenty of likes on my Facebook page.

Comment by Anonymous

NEVER THOUGHT DOUCHIEST WAS A WORD

Comment by Anonymous

This is the DUMBEST post I've ever seen on here. Congratulations titmouse. You get the lifetime douchiest post award.

Posted 2014-08-15T21:20:08+02:00
The Star-Spangled Banner is sadly the only time we get to use the word spangled.

Funny(1)
Comment by Anonymous

vv v Busy mom.

Comment by Anonymous

v Damn, I was going to say that... Lol.

Comment by Anonymous

I spangled on your moms chest

Posted 2014-08-15T16:48:47+02:00
What if cows are trying to say "mooonshine" but running out of breath because they're hammered

Get a Life(1)
Comment by Anonymous

v Take a shot of Everclear, junior.

Comment by Anonymous

Have you never been drunk before? It doesn't cause you to be breathless

Comment by Anonymous

Haha nice comment, win

Comment by Anonymous

I told your mom to just shorten it to "booze."

Posted 2014-08-15T16:47:00+02:00
Only thing harder than quitting cold turkey is quitting warm ham. It's fucking delicious.

Funny(2)
Comment by Anonymous

v Faggot is not synonymous with homosexual. Also, Peter North is a homo, still fucks women, moron.

Comment by Anonymous

v If he was a fag he would fuck his father, moron

Comment by Anonymous

v Fuck your mother, faggot.

Comment by Anonymous

V And it still got more likes than dislikes. You fucking turd.

Comment by Anonymous

Yeah, I read this on Twitter about 6 months ago...


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