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Posted 2014-11-25T04:41:50+01:00
Love is telling someone to go to hell and worrying about them getting there safely.

Funny(1)
Posted 2014-11-25T04:40:20+01:00
Thought I saw my ex walking down the street but she wasn't busy sucking someone else's cock so it probably wasn't her.

Epic(1)
Posted 2014-11-25T04:35:34+01:00
Don't you love being the last one to find out but the first one to not give a fuck

Get a Life(2)
Posted 2014-11-25T04:35:12+01:00
If God is a woman then how do you explain: 1) Spiders 2) Shoes you can't afford 3) Periods 4) Men

Get a Life(2)
Posted 2014-11-25T04:22:24+01:00
Super stoked to see the new boulders I assume my upstairs neighbors are rolling around in their apartment.

Funny(1)
Posted 2014-11-25T04:21:13+01:00
Internet: you've made a compelling argument. Sleep: present your case.

Get a Life(2)
Posted 2014-11-25T04:21:03+01:00
Everyone wants to have sex, sluts are just successful. That's why we hate them.

Funny(1)
Posted 2014-11-25T04:19:48+01:00
Relationships are an expensive way to watch someone slowly like you less and less.

Get a Life(2)
Posted 2014-11-25T04:17:00+01:00
I have the world's best opinions.

Get a Life(1)
Posted 2014-11-25T03:28:41+01:00
Remember, every six cats equals one boyfriend.

Epic(1)
Comment by Anonymous

Or "Six cats guarantee no boyfriend."

Posted 2014-11-24T23:34:23+01:00
You're not important enough to have haters. You just have a few people who notice you're an asshole.

Funny(1)
Posted 2014-11-24T23:33:04+01:00
If I were Noah, I'd be like, fuck the earth I'm gonna keep this boat full of animals and pet them forever.

Epic(1)
Posted 2014-11-24T21:22:45+01:00
Nothing says IDGAF like an old lady at a slot machine wearing oxygen and smoking a cigarette.

Win(2)
Posted 2014-11-24T04:40:10+01:00
I have difficulty sleeping at night because I lay awake obsessing over life's mysteries, like how exactly does paper beat rock.

Funny(3)
Posted 2014-11-24T04:37:33+01:00
Sometimes I feel moderately intelligent. Other times I have to sing the "ABCs" in my head to remember which letter comes next.

Funny(1)
Comment by Anonymous

could you repeat yourself once more?

Comment by Anonymous

we should do the same with your comment

Comment by Anonymous

Well the poster did admit they are too stupid to even remember the alphabet so what do you expect. The real problem is the monkeys approving the same status over and over. I wonder what the ones they reject look like.

Comment by Anonymous

we should do the same with your comment

Comment by Anonymous

I think these statuses all need to be numbered, so when these repeats pop up, we can point where the repeats are.

Posted 2014-11-24T04:35:43+01:00
A wife is like a hand grenade. Remove the ring, and your house is gone.

Funny(1)
Posted 2014-11-24T04:22:07+01:00
It's not called "Laura the Explorer" because if a little white girl gets lost in the woods, CNN shows up with the FBI.

Get a Life(4)
Comment by Anonymous

Who knew that lowlife piece of shit al sharpton posted statues on here.

Comment by Anonymous

Another race baiting moron. Carry on with your stupid self

Comment by Anonymous

Because CNN is so good at finding things.. cough cough the plane... cough

Posted 2014-11-24T04:14:11+01:00
Forrest Gump forever changed the way I pronounce buttocks.

Funny(4)
Comment by Anonymous

And box of chocolates

Posted 2014-11-24T04:08:16+01:00
A credit score but based on how you treat people.

Fail(2)
Comment by Anonymous

Isn't that after one dies?

Comment by Anonymous

yours would be very low

Posted 2014-11-24T03:38:24+01:00
Everything I know about Californian geography I learned from Tupac's songs

Get a Life(1)

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