Share

Posted 2015-02-28T10:39:22+01:00
Damn girl, are you a jar of pickles? Because I think I need to bang you on my kitchen counter.

-1(0)
Comment by Anonymous

That was funny as hell.

Comment by Anonymous

I heard she was on the dill so it was safe.

Comment by Anonymous

That's your idea of clever? Holy fuck you morons are stupid.

Comment by Anonymous

Crude but clever.

Posted 2015-02-28T10:33:42+01:00
We all want the same things out of life; to have the love of a like minded person who has our back and who touches our junk all the time.

-1(0)
Posted 2015-02-28T10:27:15+01:00
Making a woman laugh is one of the keys to winning her heart, unless she's laughing at your penis.

Epic(5)
Comment by Anonymous

Lamest site ever.

Comment by Anonymous

You are not fat you are just big boned.

Comment by Anonymous

They only laugh at it because it's FAT

Comment by Anonymous

who dislike this?

Comment by Anonymous

He always gets centimeters and inches mixed up from the time he started sucking them.

Comment by Anonymous

v v v dreaming

Comment by Anonymous

your penis maybe.not mine..cant laugh at 9 big boy inches

Posted 2015-02-28T10:26:47+01:00
If you love something, feed it so much that it get's too fat for anyone else to want.

Funny(3)
Comment by Anonymous

I guess you have to take what you can get.

Comment by Anonymous

I like a good plumper! Shade in the summer and warmth in the winter.

Comment by Anonymous

I know your dad tried that plan with your mom, but the squeaker on here still would try and do her.

Posted 2015-02-28T10:03:06+01:00
Movie idea: Freaky Friday2015: Your LinkedIn profile and your Tinder profile accidentally switch places.

Funny(1)
Posted 2015-02-28T02:53:07+01:00
Cop: ...and anything you say may be held against you. Me: Titties

Get a Life(2)
Comment by Anonymous

Old. Very old.

Posted 2015-02-28T02:48:31+01:00
GUYS IT JUST CHANGED AND THEN WENT BACK TO WHITE AND GOLD IM ALL ALONE IN MY HOUSE IM FREAKING OUT

Get a Life(3)
Posted 2015-02-28T02:46:40+01:00
My parents divorced over the white/gold black/blue dress debate

Get a Life(4)
Comment by Anonymous

hello squeaker

Comment by Anonymous

your parents divorced because I was banging your mom.

Comment by Anonymous

It was a blue dress with some white staining.

Posted 2015-02-28T02:46:17+01:00
Looking forward to everyone's parents hearing about the dress in a few days and sending FW: FW: FW: FW: DRESS COLOR emails.

Get a Life(2)
Posted 2015-02-28T02:45:46+01:00
The only good thing about this is that professional journalists are being woken up and forced to write about a dress pic

Get a Life(2)
Posted 2015-02-28T02:44:25+01:00
Every minute 107 human beings die. What color is the dress?

Get a Life(3)
Posted 2015-02-28T02:43:13+01:00
Imagine if we cared about the environment as much as we care about the dress.

Get a Life(2)
Comment by Anonymous

I do care about the environment just as much as I care about the stupid dress.

Comment by Anonymous

Stupid, tree-hugging hippies always have to ruin a good laugh with their Eco crap. Booooooo

Comment by Anonymous

fuck your dress bullshit

Posted 2015-02-28T02:41:56+01:00
I look to a day when people will not be judged by the color of their dress but by the content of their character.

Get a Life(3)
Comment by Anonymous

It was a joke about Bill Clinton and the blue dress and MLK did not have a dream about a dress you fucking useless piece of shit. Go back to cleaning the toilets.

Comment by Anonymous

Bill Clinton, really? That MLK 'I Have a dream' you dolt!

Comment by Anonymous

Bill Clinton?

Posted 2015-02-28T02:40:56+01:00
There's been an plane missing for like 6 months and yall don't give a shit but you don't fuck around when it comes to the color of a dress

Get a Life(2)
Posted 2015-02-28T02:40:18+01:00
Fifty Shades of This Ugly Fucking Dress.

Epic(3)
Posted 2015-02-28T02:36:42+01:00
Another picture of the dress: http://swiked.tumblr.com/post/112164479015/can-we-have-more-pictures-of-the-dress-please-we

Get a Life(1)
Comment by Anonymous

Damn, that's one ugly dress

Posted 2015-02-28T02:36:24+01:00
A gif of the dress: http://www.wired.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/02/bluedress-315-new.gif

Get a Life(1)
Comment by Anonymous

fuck your dress bullshit

Posted by Skylinesend 2015-02-27T13:31:57+01:00
Your shadow: What happens when light travels 93 million miles unobstructed, only to be deprived of reaching the ground in the final few feet by you.

Epic(1)
Posted 2015-02-26T22:59:02+01:00
It's high time we change the name of the Indian Ocean to Native American Ocean.

Epic(1)
Comment by Anonymous

I thought it was quite funny!

Comment by Anonymous

its a damn shame when idiots come to a site for humor and take things way too frickin serious.... douche-bags!

Comment by Anonymous

VV Sarcasm is lost on the truly stupid. Take the stick out of your ass and lighten up a little. You must be so fun to be around.

Comment by Anonymous

V what they said

Comment by Anonymous

It's named after India, the country in Asia. There's a life beyond America. That's why they say Education is important. :)

Posted 2015-02-26T22:55:56+01:00
"You the bomb" "No you the bomb" Kind gesture in America. Argument in the Middle East.

Epic(2)
Comment by Anonymous

Let's go ahead and not regurgitate statuses ok?


Total Number of Statuses:26199

Status Stalker Login

Want to post a funny status? Well login isn't required but if you register and login you will have access to all the extra features status stalker has to offer.

Username:
Password:
Forgot Password?

Stalker Map

Facebook Addict Intervention Parody