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Posted 2014-09-21T02:07:52+02:00
You might think you're smart until you try using someone else's microwave.

Funny(3)
Posted 2014-09-21T01:51:59+02:00
Sometimes I feel moderately intelligent. Other times I have to sing the "ABCs" in my head to remember which letter comes next.

Funny(3)
Comment by Anonymous

Hope you can figure out why you have those times where you think you are smart. Keep taking the meds are regular intervals and that should pass.

Posted 2014-09-21T01:50:06+02:00
If attacked by a bear you should play dead. If that doesn't work play "Total Eclipse Of The Heart". Bears love that song.

Funny(2)
Posted 2014-09-21T01:49:50+02:00
Some people wouldn't understand irony if it beat them over the head with a helmet.

Epic(2)
Posted 2014-09-21T01:39:20+02:00
Sir, I just can't understand why your anaconda is so picky.

Get a Life(1)
Comment by Anonymous

Sir mix a lot that's hilarious

Posted 2014-09-21T01:37:17+02:00
I've been in San Francisco for an hour and six people have tried to get me to "add avocado for $3." Haven't even been to a restaurant yet.

Get a Life(1)
Posted 2014-09-21T01:35:29+02:00
I would lose weight, but I hate losing.

Funny(1)
Posted 2014-09-21T01:34:49+02:00
Drunk me loves creating awkward encounters for sober me.

Get a Life(2)
Posted 2014-09-21T01:34:31+02:00
Don't let anyone push you around. Unless it's in a wagon because that might actually be fun.

Get a Life(1)
Posted 2014-09-21T01:33:33+02:00
Karma is like a rubber-band: it can only stretch so far before it comes back and smacks you in the face..

Get a Life(1)
Posted 2014-09-19T15:03:14+02:00
Pardon my expresso Starbucks but $5.26 is an awful latte money for a cup of coffee.

Get a Life(3)
Comment by Anonymous

So awful. You should be ashamed.

Comment by Anonymous

Boooo On You !!!

Comment by Anonymous

There is no X in espresso!

Comment by Anonymous

Put a lid on it.

Comment by Anonymous

Go stand in the corner.

Comment by Anonymous

...just awful.

Posted 2014-09-16T03:44:03+02:00
Love is like a rubber band, we keep pulling, someone let's it go, and it hurts the one who held on

Win(2)
Posted 2014-09-16T03:41:48+02:00
I realized I eat too much fast food so I decided I would start cooking for myself. Does anyone here know how to "mcnugget" a chicken?

Funny(6)
Posted 2014-09-16T03:39:03+02:00
The Send All function should require another person to key in a code like you would for a nuclear launch

Epic(3)
Posted 2014-09-16T03:37:03+02:00
I wonder what "don't touch" is in Braille.

Epic(3)
Comment by Anonymous

Oldie, but a goodie.

Posted 2014-09-16T03:26:38+02:00
Imagine hating your life so much you write a YouTube comment.

Funny(3)
Posted 2014-09-16T01:16:53+02:00
I just used the self checkout in Walmart without needing assistance and they made me district manager.

Epic(3)
Posted 2014-09-16T01:00:00+02:00
I've tried several times, but I can't pet a cat without plotting world domination.

Get a Life(2)
Posted 2014-09-15T23:22:08+02:00
I've finally worked up the courage to tell you how I feel: I feel hungry.

Funny(3)
Posted 2014-09-15T23:19:57+02:00
Single white sock seeks same

Get a Life(2)
Comment by Anonymous

V Thanks for playing. I knew someone with a low enough IQ would eventually not see the sarcasm in that. You win!!!! Your prize is an all expenses paid trip to your local school for the GED you have not been able to get so far. "ur" welcome.

Comment by Anonymous

it's not racist. ur just stupid to think so.


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