Funny Epic Win Get A Life Fail Share
Calm the fuck down guy with the Ed Hardy steering wheel cover, save some pussy for the rest of us.
FOX NEWS: NO NEW EBOLA VICTIMS IS CONCRETE PROOF OBAMA IS COVERING UP NEW EBOLA VICTIMS
I made a ton of huge mistakes at work today, but hey; that's all part of being a tattoo artist.
I want to commit the perfect murder but I'm worried it might be too late to establish a career in sports.
Everyday you're hustlin? EVERY day? Settle down Rick Ross. Everybody takes a day off here and there.
Were not going to need a 'do not disturb' sign. We're going to need a 'please don't call the police were fine' sign.
I'm like a kid in a candy store. I can't afford anything.
Calm the fuck down, different flavored Oreos. Nobody wants to make that kind of decision. Regular or Double stuff was hard enough.
You haven't really made it until people start using your name as a verb.
Shit's spiraling out of control and I'm all like "wheeeee."
I know I've had enough to drink when I have to concentrate to blink.
I'm a little stumped by this beer to pee volume ratio.
Thou shalt not start Christmas advertising when it is still October.
Do people who run know that we're not food anymore
Nothing says "I've already given up on this day" quite like a Taco Bell breakfast.
It's crazy to think that we constantly spin in the void of space on the arm of a spinning galaxy and some people are worried about dudes kissing
If you're suffering from injustice or oppression, hang in there; we're posting on social media as hard as we can
This is America, not France, please call him TheBron
Your hair turns white when you get old for evolutionary reasons. Predators leave you alone if they think you're a wizard
Why can't the ice cream man just get a fuckin liquor license already
Total Number of Statuses:25635
Recent Funny Statuses If you need a funny status for your facebook or Twitter, Status Stalker has the largest collection of the funniest statuses. Every wants people to like their status updates so make your worth liking by making your friends laugh instead of posting what you had for lunch.
Facebook Addict Intervention Parody