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Posted 2015-01-06T04:37:41+01:00
In hell you just stand in line at a DMV while "Happy" by Pharrell plays on an endless loop.

Funny(2)
Posted 2015-01-05T17:38:48+01:00
If you ever go camping be sure to bring along someone who has a good camera and can take good pictures. Bigfoot obviously avoids people like this.

Funny(3)
Posted 2015-01-05T06:33:54+01:00
You posted a drunk selfie last night at 2:04 AM and then deleted it five minutes later. But I took a screenshot. Let's negotiate.

Funny(3)
Posted 2015-01-05T06:21:18+01:00
Kids today are so coddled- Elf on the Shelf, Toy Story. In my day, if dolls magically came to life, they murdered you and everyone you loved

Epic(5)
Comment by Anonymous

Hey did you just copy and paste that straight off this page?

Posted 2015-01-05T06:19:37+01:00
Opinions are like peepholes. You only have a limited view out of your tiny window.

Get a Life(1)
Comment by Anonymous

Too bad opinions are not like grammar.

Comment by Anonymous

Opinions are like assholes , you always carry them but they usually Stinks

Posted 2015-01-05T06:16:38+01:00
Do your ears hang low? Do they wobble to and fro? Do you think there is an afterlife?

Get a Life(1)
Posted 2015-01-05T06:11:03+01:00
Whenever I hear that customer service calls are going to be recorded I do one of my raps because I'm too poor to pay for studio time

Funny(1)
Posted 2015-01-05T06:05:24+01:00
Coffee: fueling you for a job you can't stand to support a life you never wanted. Tastes good though...

Epic(3)
Comment by Anonymous

Put some cyanide in it and end your miserable life already.

Posted 2015-01-05T05:58:02+01:00
"I love you unconditionally*." -God *certain terms and conditions apply. See Bible for more details.

Get a Life(4)
Posted 2015-01-05T05:45:37+01:00
*intercom at Walmart* Would the owner of the black truck with deer antlers in the brush guard please save some pussy for the rest of us.

Funny(2)
Comment by Anonymous

You can have all the women of walmart.

Posted 2015-01-05T05:40:21+01:00
I broke up with my ex because she took a shortcut and beat me in Mario Kart. She's never done this before. Another man taught her I know it

Funny(2)
Comment by Anonymous

That is not all I taught her.

Posted 2015-01-04T23:57:17+01:00
We should bury everyone upside down so if they come back as zombies they'll dig the wrong way.

Funny(1)
Posted 2015-01-04T23:51:53+01:00
Tinder but for people who want to fight

Get a Life(1)
Posted 2015-01-04T23:38:26+01:00
Donkey Kong in a bar with barrels as barstools, trying to stay cool

Get a Life(1)
Posted 2015-01-04T23:17:19+01:00
Sandra Bullock floating around in the background of all the new Star Wars movies

Get a Life(1)
Posted 2015-01-04T23:13:12+01:00
What if dogs bring the ball back because they think you enjoy throwing it?

Epic(2)
Posted 2015-01-03T04:01:44+01:00
Betty White is 95 years old & has like 5 jobs. I can't even get out of bed.

Funny(3)
Comment by Anonymous

If only we could be as great as you and your perfect life says no one here, asshat

Comment by Anonymous

All of you are complete, moronic, self-loathing examples of what's wrong with the world today.

Comment by Anonymous

She only looks 92.

Comment by Anonymous

She's is 92 actually. I thought she was 95 too

Comment by Anonymous

Let's re elect Obama in 2016. Democrats shall rule the world.

Comment by Anonymous

and of you took your time to practice you reading comprehension skills you would have seen that someone didn't know she was alive. So next time take a second to get the jizz out of your eyes and maybe you'll be able to see correctly before you open your fat trap.

Comment by Anonymous

Your welcome you dumb cunt. Get your shit straight before you post idiotic useless statuses. No one wants to post a status that isn't factually correct.

Comment by Anonymous

Thank you alfred fucking einstein (meaning to be spelt and sound facetiously you title asshat)

Comment by Anonymous

She's 92 actually and she's still alive contrary to the commentor below.

Comment by Anonymous

Black Betty had a child.

Comment by Anonymous

Betty white died like a year ago

Comment by Anonymous

They're called niggers.

Comment by Anonymous

coming from someone who for sure is a Cock sucker

Comment by Anonymous

The difference between someone who will work for the things they want and the lazy ass ones who won't. Your parents are proud of you I am sure.

Posted 2015-01-03T01:20:37+01:00
Pepsi and Coke can't even be in the same restaurant together and society wants us all to get along. Pffftt.

Epic(6)
Posted 2015-01-02T13:38:55+01:00
IKEA's cost cutting plan for 2015 includes sending a whole tree to your house with nails, hammer and saw so that you can just build your own shit.

Get a Life(1)
Posted 2015-01-02T06:05:28+01:00
2014, FUCK YOU, SINCERELY 2015

Get a Life(1)

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