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Posted 2015-10-29T21:14:44-06:00
Right now is as young as you'll ever be. So go out there and make some good memories the older you can smile about.

Get a Life(2)
Comment by Anonymous

Go out there and learn how to construct a sentence correctly.

Posted 2015-10-29T20:57:31-06:00
I'm going to go as Josh Duggar for Halloween... and hit on every woman except my wife.

Epic(1)
Comment by Anonymous

Oh then go as Bill Cosby.

Comment by Anonymous

True ... but Clinton doesn't preach the religious high ground.

Comment by Anonymous

Could go as Bill Clinton

Comment by Anonymous

Right because Josh Duggar is the only guy to ever do that.

Posted 2015-10-29T20:48:44-06:00
I'm not a doctor, but I play one on eHarmony.

Funny(2)
Posted 2015-10-29T20:11:52-06:00
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change and the courage to whip and nae nae to the best of my ability.

-1(0)
Comment by Anonymous

Go stand in the corner.

Comment by Anonymous

Kill yourself...

Posted 2015-10-29T20:04:56-06:00
Cop: Do you know why I pulled you over? Me: Technically I pulled myself over, you only asked Cop: I know, right? They make us say it like that

Funny(1)
Comment by Anonymous

Police are the biggest Gang of thug, thieves in americuffs

Posted 2015-10-29T20:04:20-06:00
Hindsight just means looking at people's butts, right?

Funny(2)
Comment by Anonymous

You're so busy staring at them that you should stop wasting time here & go back to studying to become a Proctologist. You can stare at the butts & get PAID for it.

Posted 2015-10-29T20:02:20-06:00
Damn girl, are you a Polar Vortex? Because I haven't heard anything about you since last winter and I'm pretty sure you're not even real.

Get a Life(1)
Posted 2015-10-29T19:57:08-06:00
Good to see the next generation of Patriot fans will be as annoying as the present one.

Get a Life(1)
9840
Comment by Anonymous

BRONCOS !!! And that's how it's done you ball sucking piece of shit. Go die now and take your fucking loose twatted, filthy cunt of a mother with you! LOL! I guess we know who the fucking queer is now, Boston fagboy!

Comment by Anonymous

Yeah, how do you think the Patrick eats will go in the Super Bowl, Dicksuck? LOL!!!!! Last time I laughed this hard, I spooged all over your mother's face.

Comment by Anonymous

V I don't doubt it, he is a pussy ass Boston queer with no balls.

Comment by Anonymous

Yeah, I know that Patriot fan. He got drunk on appletinis and I had to beat the shit out of him. No, literally, he shit himself.

Comment by Anonymous

A lot tougher to win when you can't cheat, right Patrifag! Wow, lost to the Broncos TWICE this year. Now you and your queer dad can go back to sucking each other's dicks, coward! LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Losers!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Comment by Anonymous

Wanna bet if the Patricheats beat KC then fagboy will crawl back out of his mothers rancid womb and shoot his mouth again?

Comment by Anonymous

They'll be one and done. Fucking assholes!

Comment by Anonymous

The funny thing is you know he's reading every word of this, because he shows up when they win. Typical Boston coward.

Comment by Anonymous

Did you say 12-2, Patrifag? How about now, fuckstain? Yeah, go hide under a rock you fucking pussy coward, and take that whore of a mother with you. She'll suck your dick, she'll suck any dick!

Comment by Anonymous

Patriots fans are the biggest cocksuckers on the planet! This fucking pussy-ass loser has so much sperm going down his throat that it's leaking out of his ears.

Comment by Anonymous

Good idea, kicking off to start overtime. Nice call, Belicheat.

Comment by Anonymous

Yeah, better team won, again. Maybe the Pats were distracted by your mother waving her rancid cunt around and it reminded Brady of a deflated football. Anyway, you can go back into hiding now, coward. Maybe get some treatment for all those ass poundings that you love so much. Again, you're dismissed.

Comment by Anonymous

10-5 is better than 12-3? Maybe you should have stayed in school instead of dropping out to suck cocks for beer money.

Comment by Anonymous

J ... E ... T ... S ... Jets! Jets! Jets! Yet another team better than the Patrifags.

Comment by Anonymous

V He'll be crying long before he gets any chance to play the Panthers. The only way Brady's going to the SB is if he buys a ticket.

Comment by Anonymous

Panthers .... 14-0. Can't wait to make Brady cry.

Comment by Anonymous

Broncos and Bengal lost ... if the Patrifags win you know little f**kboy will start talking again. Typical coward.

Comment by Anonymous

Mr. Tough guy Pats fan .... runs and hides like a LITTLE BITCH. Hide you fucking bitch, so you don't get you ass kicked.

Comment by Anonymous

V Nope, the Eagles. LOOKS LIKE EVERYONE GETS A TURN POUNDING THE PATS.

Comment by Anonymous

Looks the Patriots were dismissed! I bet the Jets beat up on them next.

Comment by Anonymous

V Yup, better team won.

Comment by Anonymous

Justice served! That Osweiler looks pretty decent.

Comment by Anonymous

Had to figure which post had the Patriots fan selling out. The Broncos fan wins this one, and with a backup quarterback. No biggie, Pats will find new ways to cheat, they always do.

Comment by Anonymous

Looks like Patriots fan's asshole just got widened! Nice to see they couldn't cheat their way out of this one. BRONCOS were the better team ... checkmate.

Comment by Anonymous

Broncos 30 Patriots 24 .... suck on that, you f**king pussy ass cocksmoker. BRONCOS WIN! And your closeted homosexual Gronkowski has his leg on backwards, HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! PATS SUCK DICK, JUST LIKE YOU AND GRONK.

Comment by Anonymous

9-0 vs 7-2 eat another dick!

Comment by Anonymous

LOL How ironic the moron keyboard hero is. All you can do is dismiss people online. I bet you have been beaten up more times than Peyton throws interceptions. In real life you could not stop me anymore than you stopped your father from sticking his cock down your throat. I waited till your shitty QB lost himself his 1st game this yaer not because I was afraid of some tough guy wannabe who is just an asshat that thinks because he dismisses someone it means something. Please do us all a favor and kill yourself. At least then you would have done something your parents could be proud of.

Comment by Anonymous

That's OK, they'll take out the Pats. You should watch it, if you can tear yourself away from that dick lodged in your ass, you fucking pussy! Then maybe I'll come by and slap your sorry ass around as well. Anyway, I'll allow you to leave now because you seem afraid and are probably pissing yourself now. It's OK, you have my permission. Maybe you can wait a few weeks and summon up some courage to write again like you did this time. What a fuckin' coward. You're parents would be embarrassed if they weren't lowly crack addicts themselves. You're dismissed, cocksucker.

Comment by Anonymous

LOL Peyton sucks. Broncos suck so bad they cost themselves the game! How does that dick taste now?

Comment by Anonymous

LOL, The Waterboy .... "Needledick!, Needledick!, Needledick!" "You're name is needledick."

Comment by Anonymous

VVV Both are legends but I'd take Rodgers over Brady. Much younger and probably better, tough break that he doesn't have Jordy Nelson this year.

Comment by Anonymous

Broncos sure did do a number on the Packers. Hopefully they'll do it to the Pats too, so they can shut the fuck out of cowardly needledicks like you.

Comment by Anonymous

Nice to see the packers lose miserably. Rodgers sure is better at losing.

Comment by Anonymous

Packers are a better team and they do it without cheating. Rodgers is so much f**kin better than Brady.

Comment by Anonymous

VV Just more proof that patriot fans are ignorant assholes.

Comment by Anonymous

V Ya, you love them deflated balls!

Comment by Anonymous

V not for long. and no thanks I am not into your lifestyle.

Comment by Anonymous

V my team is also undefeated so spread that on a dick and suck it!

Comment by Anonymous

good thing they fixed those footballs to show how that was the only way they were winning. Sorry your team sucks this year.

Posted 2015-10-29T16:10:23-06:00
People who go rock climbing: you know you don't have to, right

Funny(6)
Posted 2015-10-29T05:28:11-06:00
when facebook gives me previews of photos of me and a ex in 2 and 3 year aniversary photos i dont think "good memories"but rather" what was I thinking"

Epic(2)
Posted 2015-10-28T18:51:25-06:00
The GOP Debate is a real who's who of potential Defense Against The Dark Arts professors for next year at Hogwarts.

Get a Life(3)
Comment by Anonymous

Geez you're not funny. Stupid, just not funny.

Posted 2015-10-28T18:50:01-06:00
I set my noise machine to "Ben Carson" when I want a solid night of sleep.

Fail(3)
Comment by Anonymous

Listening to Ben Carson is like a punishment. I always want to call the paramedics because I think he's having a stroke.

Comment by Anonymous

V Facts always seem shut down the ignorant right wing pussies.

Comment by Anonymous

Obama's done OK considering what he had to deal with. He's not going to go down in history as the best or worst. But here are some actual facts about his tenure, so good and some bad ... 1) The economy has added nearly 7.9 million jobs, and the unemployment rate is now lower than the historical median. 2) Business establishment start-ups have increased by 20 percent, and the number of job openings is the highest in more than 14 years. 3) The purchasing power of weekly paychecks is up 2.6 percent, despite some recent slippage. 4) The number of people receiving food stamps is still 43 percent higher than when Obama was first sworn in, despite recent declines. But much of that was due to the rapid rise in unemployment during the 6 months prior to his administration. 5) Home ownership rate has continued to decline, to the lowest point in over a quarter century. 6) U.S. oil production is up 94 percent. Wind and solar power are up 252 percent. U.S. dependency on oil imports is down to the lowest point since the 1970s. 6) The percentage of foreigners who say they approve of the U.S. is up in most countries including France, Britain, Japan, Mexico, Turkey, Pakistan and even Israel, where it stands at 81 percent of those polled this year. One of the few exceptions is Russia, where U.S. favorability has plunged to 15 percent.

Comment by Anonymous

Every economic indicator is ,miles ahead of when Obama took over for Bush. That's just a fact.

Comment by Anonymous

V V V Life time welfare recipient courtesy of obama.

Comment by Anonymous

Lol. Obama is the best thing that's happened to this country. He was just voted one of the most successful presidents in history. If you think that's wrong, then you must be the fucking idiot.

Comment by Anonymous

0bama voters are f**king idiots!!!! PERIOD!!!

Comment by Anonymous

I am sure a welfare check doesn't get by

Comment by Anonymous

Carson always looks like he's having a stroke.

Comment by Anonymous

Wow, nothing gets by you.

Comment by Anonymous

I voted for BHO... twice. Does that make me a "brain dead zombies" too, Asshole?

Comment by Anonymous

You're probably one of those brain dead zombies that voted for 0bama too...

Posted 2015-10-28T18:41:55-06:00
That awkward moment when Jeb Bush is asked "What is your biggest weakness?" and tries not to mention his brother.

Get a Life(2)
Comment by Anonymous

Actually, his biggest weakness is his inability to think. Marco Rubio made Bush his bitch at the debate, just like Trump has been doing for months.

Posted 2015-10-28T18:39:53-06:00
Donald Trump: "I think my greatest weakness is that I trust people too much, such as my hairdresser and my tanning lady."

Funny(3)
Posted 2015-10-28T18:38:33-06:00
Senator, how will you solve this thing that literally no one has been able to solve ever? You have 60 seconds

Fail(1)
Posted by Biggsswayze 2015-10-27T21:43:22-06:00
Boss: are you on drugs? Me: you and I know damn well I don't make enough money to have a drug problem!!!

Funny(3)
Comment by Anonymous

People with money dont have a drug problem because they can afford them. People without money have the problem and cant afford enough of them.

Posted 2015-10-27T13:55:45-06:00
"No, I can't go to lunch with you. I have a ton of things to do." *opens BuzzFeed to "Which Disney Princess Are You?" quiz*

Get a Life(1)
Posted 2015-10-27T13:54:46-06:00
The year is 2021. We are now ruled by our overlord, Draft Kings. Many lives were lost in the war with FanDuel. I hug my children QB1 & RB2

Get a Life(2)
Posted 2015-10-27T13:54:01-06:00
[At job interview] Interviewer: So tell me why you want this job. Me: I have no money and I prefer when I have money.

Funny(2)
Posted 2015-10-27T13:53:14-06:00
Facebook now has a section where they list 'Suggested Pokes' in case anyone is looking for a restraining order and good time tonight.

Funny(5)

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