Funny Epic Win Get A Life Fail Share
Dating Tip: Find a partner with a compatible phone charger.
Vacuum Cleaner out of order.
Needed few people who can ROFL.
I wish I had the confidence of a male flight attendant
Hey ladies breastfeeding in public,...Why don't you ever smile in my pictures?
Just once I want to hear guys in bars look at a woman and say, "Damn dude, I would treat her so fucking right."
If this picture of me running a red light is going to cost me $350, they coulda added a dragon and put it in a pirate ship frame.
My boyfriend asked me for anal so I colour coordinated his sock drawer.
I know what men want.
That's not funny. My uncle died drowning in pussy.
Hey where can I find the terminator action figures?
Aisle b, back
orange in the 60s, mus in the 70s, poon in the 80s, wu in the 90s. - the history of tang
Why don't you make like a tree and use photosynthesis to turn sunlight into energy, then use that energy to fuck off
Thanks for the sex, but you didn't get the job.
Hi, welcome to adulthood! You'll be constantly tired except for right before you need to go to sleep.
Girl, this relationship is like the time space continuum.
You need time.
I want space.
But the nudes? You can continuum.
Cop: Been drinking tonight, ma'am?
Me: No, I'm just dizzy b/c I'm having a heavy flow day. It's really clotty and...
Cop: You're free to go.
Cigarettes have warning labels because they are dangerous and addictive yet vaginas are allowed to just roam around freely.
This isn't over yet, we still need to know which Sprint framily LeBron James joined.
Some days you can't play the music loud enough.
I just taught my phone the word "fuck". Pretty sure this is what being a proud parent feels like.
What do sleeping and sex have in common?
I'm not getting nearly enough of either.
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