Posted 2015-10-23T15:11:07-06:00
Does this baby hitler have the mustache or nah because that's crucial

Get a Life(4)
Posted 2015-10-23T15:08:23-06:00
You can't go back in time and kill baby hitler because then you'd just be the guy that went back in time and killed a random baby

Get a Life(4)
Posted 2015-10-23T15:08:06-06:00
And just like that Baby Hitler becomes 2015's "It" Halloween costume.

Posted 2015-10-22T15:59:29-06:00
"Madame Secretary can you please say somethin' that might keep you from bein' the next President?" "No thanks fellas I'll just be President"

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Comment by Anonymous

I think both ...... Go eat more paint

Comment by Anonymous

45 thumbs down and it's a 'win'?

Comment by Anonymous

Were you born clueless or did you eat a lot of lead paint as a child?

Posted 2015-10-19T17:50:04-06:00
Anyone else notice that the world economy started to tank and terrorism boomed around the time that gluten-free products became a thing?

Comment by Anonymous

uhhhhhhhh.... :///

Posted 2015-10-17T15:47:19-06:00
My Spirit animal hunts other spirit animals.

Get a Life(2)
Comment by Anonymous

V congrats for being the biggest nipple nose on the internet

Comment by Anonymous

Congrats on the worst post in the history of status stalker boy

Posted 2015-10-17T15:37:42-06:00
When I see people putting their heart and soul into singing to themselves in their car. I find a little faith in humanity.

Get a Life(4)
Posted 2015-10-17T15:37:05-06:00
Fuck, you are my favorite word. I love you Fuck.

Get a Life(2)
Posted 2015-10-17T15:13:38-06:00
Dudes in porn, shut the hell up.

Get a Life(3)
Comment by Anonymous

Especially when there's no chicks at all in the film

Posted 2015-10-17T15:11:30-06:00
The D in friendzone is ironic.

Posted 2015-10-17T15:10:32-06:00
A newly wed guy asked me about marriage. I told him it's sort of like a museum. You have to be quiet and you can't really touch anything.

Posted 2015-10-17T15:09:09-06:00
Every time I spend more than $100 on a date my bank calls me just to make sure that I'll be getting laid.

Posted 2015-10-17T15:07:55-06:00
The best part of being a kid is probably saying, fuck it. I'm going to be Spider-Man today."

Posted 2015-10-17T15:04:12-06:00
Pretty sure one of my ex-girlfriends added the, "are you still listening?" feature on Pandora.

Get a Life(2)
Posted 2015-10-17T15:03:25-06:00
I finally had the talk with my kids. I told them that in the wild animals eat their young so they better get their shit together.

Posted 2015-10-17T15:03:13-06:00
The President used the n-word? I'm sure he is not the first president to do that.

Posted 2015-10-17T15:02:04-06:00
I spent all day at work staring at my phone. Now it's time for me to go home and stare my phone. But with the TV on.

Posted 2015-10-17T15:01:36-06:00
If you breakdance you buy dance.

Posted 2015-10-17T15:00:48-06:00
"The entire sky is mine to explore! Nah, fuck that, I'll just swoop dangerously through traffic instead." - Birds

Posted 2015-10-17T14:57:01-06:00
Jogging combines my 2 favorite things: gasping for air and looking stupid.

Get a Life(2)

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