Making a woman laugh is one of the keys to winning her heart, unless she's laughing at your penis.
If you love something, feed it so much that it get's too fat for anyone else to want.
Movie idea: Freaky Friday2015: Your LinkedIn profile and your Tinder profile accidentally switch places.
Cop: ...and anything you say may be held against you. Me: Titties
GUYS IT JUST CHANGED AND THEN WENT BACK TO WHITE AND GOLD IM ALL ALONE IN MY HOUSE IM FREAKING OUT
My parents divorced over the white/gold black/blue dress debate
Looking forward to everyone's parents hearing about the dress in a few days and sending FW: FW: FW: FW: DRESS COLOR emails.
The only good thing about this is that professional journalists are being woken up and forced to write about a dress pic
Every minute 107 human beings die. What color is the dress?
Imagine if we cared about the environment as much as we care about the dress.
I look to a day when people will not be judged by the color of their dress but by the content of their character.
There's been an plane missing for like 6 months and yall don't give a shit but you don't fuck around when it comes to the color of a dress
Fifty Shades of This Ugly Fucking Dress.
Another picture of the dress: http://swiked.tumblr.com/post/112164479015/can-we-have-more-pictures-of-the-dress-please-we
A gif of the dress: http://www.wired.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/02/bluedress-315-new.gif
Your shadow: What happens when light travels 93 million miles unobstructed, only to be deprived of reaching the ground in the final few feet by you.
It's high time we change the name of the Indian Ocean to Native American Ocean.
"You the bomb" "No you the bomb" Kind gesture in America. Argument in the Middle East.
My mind was blown when I realized "OK" is a sideways person.
Having sex with your ex on a Thursday isn't cheating, it's a throwback.
Total Number of Statuses:26177
Facebook Addict Intervention Parody