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Posted 2014-09-29T22:03:47+02:00
Every job in the world should require their employees to enter and leave work in a Soul Train line.

-1(0)
Posted 2014-09-29T22:02:32+02:00
People are like snowflakes. If you piss on them they go away.

-1(0)
Posted 2014-09-29T19:47:22+02:00
Be the YouTube comment you want to see in the world

-1(0)
Posted 2014-09-29T03:27:35+02:00
If I was supposed to share them, they wouldn't be called nachos.

Funny(6)
Comment by Anonymous

where did you steal it from?

Comment by Anonymous

I posted this earlier today...I see you

Posted 2014-09-29T03:27:00+02:00
I feel like housewife has a negative stigma attached to it. Let's just call them homegirls.

Funny(3)
Comment by Anonymous

V NOT... the... SHOOOOOWWWWW bjumbskullllll!!! ergh

Comment by Anonymous

I'm not sure "Housewife" is a series, yo.

Posted 2014-09-29T03:25:42+02:00
Ziploc's idea of how big a sandwich should be is very different from mine.

Funny(3)
Posted 2014-09-29T03:13:10+02:00
If I was any hungrier right now Brad & Angelina would adopt me

Funny(3)
Posted 2014-09-29T03:12:14+02:00
Finally taking my bra off after a hard day of having breasts

Funny(1)
Posted 2014-09-29T03:01:21+02:00
I like to passive-aggressively post inspirational quotes about forgiveness to people's Facebook pages who I think owe me apologies.

Funny(1)
Posted 2014-09-29T02:58:16+02:00
Please don't come to my garage sale if you've ever let me borrow something.

Funny(2)
Posted 2014-09-29T02:56:27+02:00
I need you like Kanye needs Kanye.

Funny(1)
Posted 2014-09-27T21:48:45+02:00
I have an eating disorder. I'm about to eat dis order of pizza, dis order of fries and dis order of nuggets.

Funny(2)
Comment by Anonymous

V Like your mom's smelly crusty nasty snatch.

Comment by Anonymous

This shit is old and stale.

Posted 2014-09-27T21:38:30+02:00
I hide from people too, so I get it unicorns, I get it.

Funny(3)
Posted 2014-09-25T20:03:40+02:00
People are like music, some speak the truth and others are just noise.

Epic(4)
Comment by Anonymous

just plain stupid!!

Comment by Anonymous

Yesterday there was a whole other page or two of statuses put up for the last two days and they are all gone. It's just weird is all.

Comment by Anonymous

Were there ever any new ones here?

Comment by Anonymous

what the hell is up with this site? Now it's only showing the old statuses?

Posted 2014-09-25T03:34:37+02:00
Not feeling too good so I went to WebMD and entered my symptoms. I've been dead for 20 years.

Get a Life(3)
Posted 2014-09-25T03:33:49+02:00
I don't mean to brag but I have more food in my body than in my refrigerator

Get a Life(2)
Posted 2014-09-25T03:32:52+02:00
You hope I have a blessed day? *BLOCKED*

Get a Life(7)
Comment by Anonymous

right now in the world is is pretty much the muslims and there are many being killed by those filthy dogs. Go talk to them about it but make sure your will is all set.

Comment by Anonymous

Love and happiness?? Do you know how many people have been killed in the name of God??

Comment by Anonymous

What an idiot vvv

Comment by Anonymous

No being bothered by someone who believes in saying a phrase helps someone else is the joke

Comment by Anonymous

The joke was the word"hope": to all the idiots who didn't get it!!!

Comment by Anonymous

you are a fuckwit asshole douchecanoe

Comment by Anonymous

Good idea, block somebody for wishing you the best through love and happiness. You are an idiot

Posted 2014-09-25T03:30:05+02:00
Fuck me like I ruined your credit

Fail(4)
Posted 2014-09-25T03:29:49+02:00
Of course size matters. No one wants a small pizza

Funny(6)
Posted 2014-09-25T03:25:41+02:00
I have never been paid for sex, but holy mother of god, there were a few instances when I should have been.

Funny(5)

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