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Posted 2015-04-27T06:06:02+02:00
Life is just like a penis; simple, relaxed and hanging freely. It's the women that make it hard.

Funny(2)
Comment by Anonymous

V hope you choke to death on a cock fag.

Comment by Anonymous

my boyfriend makes my penis hard.

Posted 2015-04-27T04:41:14+02:00
Hi Boss? Yeah, I can't come in today because all of my clothes are uncomfortable.

Get a Life(1)
Posted 2015-04-27T04:13:42+02:00
If puppies could talk I would never even want to try and make human friends ever again.

Epic(1)
Posted 2015-04-26T23:49:05+02:00
Worrying is like a treadmill. It takes a lot of your energy but doesn't get you anywhere.

Get a Life(1)
Posted 2015-04-26T06:15:43+02:00
Obama going so hard someone might yell out "worldstar"

Get a Life(4)
54516
Comment by Anonymous

Good discussion. It's always great to be able to keep up with the current political climate from a bunch of people that come here to steal funny statuses and then lie to their Facebook friends that they made it up., LOL.

Comment by Anonymous

vvv YOU ARE CORRECT! Obama not greatest, not the worst. It's partisan idiots waving their pom-poms like the party they are affiliated with is their "team." Both parties are bullshit designed to keep the status-quo, which is to say, keeping them in office for as long as possible.

Comment by Anonymous

Right wing thinking: Barack Obama - Born in the USA - Mother is American Citizen, father is not. "He can't be President, he's not an American" Rafael "Ted" Cruz - NOT born in the USA, Mother is American citizen, father is not. "Oh yeah, he's OK"

Comment by Anonymous

V Unfortunately there's no one in the forefront that will be any better. Cruz, Santorum and Perry, are all psychos, Rubio is a joke, Jeb is a Bush (no thanks), Rand PAul is just plain weird, Christie has more baggage than Samsonite, Hillary can't be trusted, Biden babbles like an idiot and Bernie Sanders might switch us to Communism. Hopefully the next president is someone level-headed that we don't know yet.

Comment by Anonymous

Vvvvvvvv (that's ALL of you!) Obama is not a pariah, but he ain't no savior either. Obama is every bit the bullshit politician that sucks up to big business like every President before him. Sure, the economy is a lot better, but that's what happens after bad times, they get better. He didn't do anything special except Obamacare, which is not the cure-all he pushed it to be but also not the disaster the right-wing portrayed it as. His foreign policy is unclear and inconsistent at best, but again, not a disaster as we've de-escalated the war effort and stayed safe within our country despite the daily "gloom and doom" predictions designed for audience viewership and never come true. Right-wingers are idiots. Left-wingers are idiots too. The reality for anyone who can think for themselves is that Obama is a B- as a President. It's not great, but for what he was handed in 2008, it ain't too shabby either. You may now go back to spewing on like morons again.

Comment by Anonymous

V Pffft. Dude, they've already been conditioned to respond with "those numbers are fake ... cookin' the books." That's how they deny reality. He's not American ... (shows birth certificate) ... that's fake, we want to see the long form ... (shows long form birth certificate) ... nah, obviously photoshopped. These idiots hate America and would rather see a collapse under a right-wing bible-thumper than any kind of real recovery under the leadership of (GASP!) a black man. So just deny reality .... "It's not really happening!" Well it is! You got one thing right though; FOX (A.K.A. The anti-Obamacare Benghazi network) is the alternate reality channel where life sucks now and was so terrific when Bush was President. Right-wing talk has made millionaires out of a small group selling hatred to bigots who are too ignorant to know that they're just wallets to be emptied.

Comment by Anonymous

Look at the monthly job report over the last 10 years. All you need to know. Negative GDP, job losses under Bush. Stimulus kicks in, GDP goes positive, job losses get smaller, then turn into job gains. Sorry, if you can't understand that, keep watching FOX racist news and live in your own little ignorant bubble of fantasy. Oh, and we don't have hundreds of people dying in a useless war every month either. Not anymore.

Comment by Anonymous

If you had an education past 4th grade and weren't a FOX watching fucktoy you'd actually have some understanding on how the economy works, which by the way, has improved in EVERY respect since Bush left. But it's obvious as to why you have an obsession with jockstraps, having spent a lot of time with what's behind them.

Comment by Anonymous

2 jockstraps came forward with tired gibberish. Facts are racist! Yawn

Comment by Anonymous

Ah let's bring back Bush. What a piece of shit.

Comment by Anonymous

Excellent President ... racist cowards.

Comment by Anonymous

How about "worlds 'tard"? Better fit.

Comment by Anonymous

The market has only been doubled due to low interest rates. Where else will people put their money to make any return. It is just a bubble created by the government this time. The unemployment numbers are not real because they do not count everyone. Long term unemployed are not counted and "new" jobs are mostly part time and there are a huge number of people moved from full to part time. Forbes tags the real number at more than double the statistic. He has done really great work in expanding the food stamps subscription rate which seems strange if the economy is doing so well as you claim. I am not an Obama supporter either but I am sure one of his jockstraps will step up momentarily.

Comment by Anonymous

Lol. Worst ever? He's double the market in 6 years. Gotten unemployment under 6 percent. Created 12 million new jobs. He got us out of the recession caused by Bush and his stupid administration. I'm not an Obama supporter but I can appreciate what he's done all the same.

Comment by Anonymous

Obama sucks. Worst president ever.

Comment by Anonymous

There is an idiot in every crowd so it could happen.

Posted 2015-04-26T06:14:23+02:00
Let's see if Bruce Jenner stays a Republican once he starts making 77 cents on the dollar.

Get a Life(5)
Posted 2015-04-26T00:12:27+02:00
In heaven, the Cheez-Its are salted on both sides.

Funny(2)
Posted 2015-04-25T22:57:09+02:00
You shouldn't be able to get married unless you've put something from Ikea together.

Funny(1)
Posted 2015-04-25T04:06:11+02:00
I see London. I see France. I have a map of Europe

Get a Life(2)
Posted 2015-04-25T03:59:48+02:00
You aren't truly good looking unless someone is using a picture of you to catfish someone else.

Funny(1)
Comment by Anonymous

V Knows what the definition of catfish is.

Comment by Anonymous

like when fat girls change to profile pic to one with the super hot best friend taking up most of the frame?

Posted 2015-04-25T03:59:35+02:00
It's shocking how much unhappiness is caused by the pressure to be happy.

Get a Life(1)
Posted 2015-04-25T03:59:14+02:00
You look like a million dollars! A huge, crumpled, pile of paper covered with trace amounts of cocaine and fecal matter.

Fail(1)
Posted 2015-04-25T03:53:33+02:00
Whoever said, "All men are created equal", obviously has never received any dick pics

Funny(2)
Posted 2015-04-25T03:52:24+02:00
I didn't want to grow up; I just wanted to be able to reach for the cookies.

Funny(1)
Posted 2015-04-25T03:51:50+02:00
It may look like I'm doing nothing, but I'm actively waiting for my problems to go away.

Funny(1)
Posted 2015-04-25T03:51:36+02:00
I don't like people who can't make fun of themselves. It means more work for me.

Epic(1)
Posted 2015-04-25T03:42:58+02:00
Sleep feels the way pizza tastes.

Funny(1)
Posted 2015-04-24T22:52:28+02:00
Bruce Jenner could attach a boob to his forehead and I still wouldn't care..

Win(1)
Comment by Anonymous

That is because you are all about the man ass and the cocks.

Posted 2015-04-23T04:58:17+02:00
Whenever I drive past the psychic's empty parking lot, I think, if I was psychic I would only be open on the days I knew people were coming.

Funny(2)
Comment by Anonymous

Think you mean, V V

Comment by Anonymous

Isn't this about the tenth time this status has been posted here?

Comment by Anonymous

10 out of the 12 voices in my head say I'm not.

Comment by Anonymous

You must be psych-cotic.

Comment by Anonymous

I knew you were going to post this.

Posted 2015-04-23T04:55:57+02:00
Fred Astaire because Fred a like a what he sees.

Funny(1)
Comment by Anonymous

That made me actually laugh out loud!


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