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Posted 2014-07-30T02:40:16+02:00
I don't think the person who invented the rules for Rock Paper Scissors understood how rocks, paper or words worked.

Get a Life(1)
Posted 2014-07-30T02:39:17+02:00
My life is the intersection between having too much caffeine and constantly yawning.

Funny(1)
Posted 2014-07-30T02:38:31+02:00
Being a vegetarian is hard at first but after a month or so you get used to telling everyone you're a vegetarian.

Funny(1)
Comment by Anonymous

How do you know someone's a vegetarian? Wait 5mins. and they'll remind you.

Posted 2014-07-30T02:33:47+02:00
I've made some pretty bad choices in life but I have to admit, having orange juice with Oreos was the worst.

Get a Life(2)
Comment by Anonymous

FUNNYSTATUS.COM YOU FUCKING COPY CAT...

Comment by Anonymous

Your obsession for sucking your father's dick or having sex with your mother makes me worried for you.

Comment by Anonymous

Nope, I was pretty sure you would have some sort of hateful response so it is pointing in the right direction.

Comment by Anonymous

V "V" or "v" is a down carrot. What someone too stupid to use one thinks is of no concern to me. You may go back to sucking your dads cock now.

Comment by Anonymous

^your comments about people's parents hating them has run its course. Now, it just makes me feel sorry for you.

Comment by Anonymous

Your parents have you beat, they chose to have you.

Posted 2014-07-30T02:30:58+02:00
How I feel when you complain about your boyfriend to me is how Yahoo feels when people use them to search for Google's homepage.

Epic(1)
Comment by Anonymous

FUNNYSTATUS.COM YOU FUCKING COPY CAT...

Comment by Anonymous

Maybe, but Yahoo isn't a bitch about it.

Posted 2014-07-30T02:27:46+02:00
Never take advice from people on the Internet. Not even this.

Get a Life(2)
Comment by Anonymous

FUNNYSTATUS.COM YOU FUCKING COPY CAT...

Posted 2014-07-30T02:19:37+02:00
Relationships are basically an emotional game of Jenga.

Get a Life(2)
Comment by Anonymous

FUNNYSTATUS.COM YOU FUCKING COPY CAT...

Posted 2014-07-29T19:54:03+02:00
One time I looked up from my phone, it was horrifying! Don't do it guys.

Fail(1)
Comment by Anonymous

Mirrors can be anywhere.

Posted 2014-07-29T19:50:27+02:00
I'd like to thanks my legs for supporting me, my arms for always being at the side, and my fingers cause I can usually count on them.

Funny(1)
Comment by Anonymous

Being BY your side, not AT THE side...

Comment by Anonymous

And the sidewalks for keeping you off the streets. Gosh so inconsiderate

Posted by Masterkash 2014-07-29T05:57:03+02:00
You ever read a status, and you're like, 'what a fucking retard' and then you realize you're on your own page?

Get a Life(1)
Comment by Anonymous

No, that's never happened. Probably has never happened unless someone is suffering from multiple personality disorder

Posted 2014-07-29T03:08:47+02:00
Why go to a therapist when a woman will explain everything wrong about you free of charge?

Funny(2)
Comment by Anonymous

Except women are emotionally driven so answers may vary depending on her mood.

Posted 2014-07-29T03:07:08+02:00
"I knew that..." -Me, after every Jeopardy question.

Funny(3)
Comment by Anonymous

"I've read this..." -Me, after every post on SS.

Posted 2014-07-29T02:34:09+02:00
I'm only gunna have one beer. At a time. Until all the beer is gone.

Get a Life(2)
Comment by Anonymous

Im sure you'll be drinking that sixer for several hours too...

Posted 2014-07-29T02:33:29+02:00
McMuffin isn't just a sandwich to me, its an emotion

Get a Life(2)
Comment by Anonymous

It's not just a sandwich, it's an addiction too!

Comment by Anonymous

It sure isn't food.

Posted 2014-07-29T02:30:40+02:00
WARNING: Objects in relationships appear happier than they are.

Funny(1)
Posted 2014-07-29T02:23:40+02:00
If you watch Beauty and the Beast backwards its about how falling in love will turn you into a monster.

Get a Life(2)
Posted 2014-07-29T02:23:17+02:00
I relate to Game of Thrones because much like my own life, I have no idea what's going on and there's a lot of wine drinking.

Funny(2)
Comment by Anonymous

And maybe you can die in the next episode.

Posted 2014-07-29T02:15:35+02:00
Tupac has been dead for 18 years and still makes albums and you can't text me back?

Funny(1)
Comment by Anonymous

Wow, this one took a lot longer to get from Twitter to SS... I'm surprised.

Posted 2014-07-29T02:09:32+02:00
Women are like BLAH BLAH BLAH and men are all like BOOBS BOOBS BOOBS! And eating food happens and that's relationships.

Fail(2)
Posted 2014-07-29T01:50:00+02:00
This may be the hardest anyone has ever fought to not get two billion dollars

Get a Life(2)

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