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Posted 2014-04-23T04:38:50+02:00
I love you like Kanye loves Kanye.

Funny(3)
Comment by Anonymous

Your mom's anus loves Kanye.

Posted 2014-04-23T04:30:07+02:00
Not to brag, but I'm pretty good in bed. I don't snore or steal covers, and I only pee if something startles me.

Funny(8)
Comment by Anonymous

Just like my cat...

Posted 2014-04-23T04:29:24+02:00
When life throws you curveballs, swing at those motherfuckers like Stevie Wonder with a lightsaber.

Epic(3)
Comment by Anonymous

First of all, Stevie is blind, so why would anyone give him a lightsaber? That's extremely dangerous. Secondly, Stevie is black, so he'd probably kill a few people... I could keep going, but I think we've established that this joke just doesn't work.

Comment by Anonymous

It's not being over analytical if the stupid joke doesn't make sense.

Comment by Anonymous

V it's funny how the dumb one are the over thinkers LOL..

Comment by Anonymous

V I agree..... just enjoy the joke.....Stop over thinking it!!!

Comment by Anonymous

Don't you just hate it when people mess up a joke by being too analytical...........

Comment by Anonymous

I'm assuming Stevie Wonder wouldn't swing at all, considering he wouldn't even know anyone was throwing something at him

Posted 2014-04-23T04:24:40+02:00
Wanna be my girlfrien? I didn't put in the D. You'll get that later.

Funny(4)
Comment by Anonymous

In your case it'll be more like "d"

Posted 2014-04-23T04:24:12+02:00
Hey there lady at Wal-Mart, you either need shorter titties or a longer shirt.

Funny(1)
Comment by Anonymous

Those are the only tits you've seen besides your mother's.

Posted 2014-04-23T04:23:39+02:00
Me: This chicken is undercooked. Wife: You don't appreciate my cooking. Me: I think the vet could save it if it we took it right now.

Funny(3)
Comment by Anonymous

Save some time and use your pee pee as a defibrillator.

Posted 2014-04-23T04:22:16+02:00
So if you're blind and on the toilet do you wipe until the dog barks or how does that work?

Fail(4)
Comment by Anonymous

Jim Jeffries said it better.

Posted 2014-04-23T04:20:45+02:00
Hate is too powerful an emotion to waste on somebody you don't even like.

Win(2)
Comment by Anonymous

Can fags be emo too?

Posted 2014-04-23T04:20:06+02:00
You only have one childhood, it may as well last your entire life.

Funny(2)
Comment by Anonymous

With all the pussies that get butthurt and cry about the things said on here, I'm surprised this had any likes.

Posted 2014-04-23T04:10:49+02:00
I slept like a rock last night meaning I woke up in the flower bed with the house key under my belly.

Win(2)
Comment by Anonymous

You forgot to mention the crabs on your ass.

Posted 2014-04-23T04:10:39+02:00
You'll know how much I loved you when I stop.

Epic(2)
Posted 2014-04-23T04:08:29+02:00
Don't burn a bridge with me and then expect me to send a boat.

Win(4)
Comment by Anonymous

I know, you're too fuckin' stupid to drive one.

Posted 2014-04-23T04:07:12+02:00
I'd like to have a word with you... The word is sex.

Epic(2)
Comment by Anonymous

There's easier ways to proposition your mother...

Comment by Anonymous

and the answer is yes lol

Posted 2014-04-23T04:05:38+02:00
My mamma told me that the only things open at 3:am are legs & Wal-Mart.

Funny(2)
Comment by Anonymous

If she had a laceration, she should have went and got it fixed... at the hospital. They're open at 3 AM too, you know?

Comment by Anonymous

That bitch was clearly retarded and didn't get out much

Comment by Anonymous

I beg to differ. Jails are also servicing customers at that time.

Comment by Anonymous

what she didn't tell you was it's her legs that are open!!!

Posted 2014-04-23T04:03:26+02:00
People should look like their personalities

Funny(2)
Comment by Anonymous

Most of you do... which explains why 95% of you are ugly as fuck. ; )

Posted 2014-04-23T03:57:05+02:00
I like most people as long as they're not behind a steering wheel or a keyboard.

Epic(1)
Comment by Anonymous

Your mom's head is very well liked behind my steering wheel.

Posted 2014-04-23T03:56:28+02:00
It's better to have loved a midget then to never have loved a tall

Get a Life(3)
Comment by Anonymous

Just a gay and stupid when it was first said 25 years ago...

Posted 2014-04-23T03:54:57+02:00
It's not that I'm judging you, but you hung your toilet roll the wrong way and I just think it best if we never spoke again.

Epic(4)
Comment by Anonymous

Stop being a female, bitch.

Posted 2014-04-23T03:54:41+02:00
I'll drive you crazy, but you're paying for gas

Get a Life(1)
Comment by Anonymous

Derp, derp... I'd fuck you stupid, but 200 people already beat me to it.

Posted 2014-04-23T03:52:45+02:00
There's only one thing I hate more than lying. Skim milk. Which is water. That's lying about being milk.

Epic(3)
Comment by Anonymous

Oh, shut up you faggot. You know you drink buttermilk!


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