Funny Epic Win Get A Life Fail Share
Still wondering how the Harlem Shake fits in with that whole "you can tell what someone is like in bed from the way they dance" theory.
I like my pizza like I like the square root of 64.
Got my mind on my (lack of) money and my (lack of) money on my mind.
Do you ever just stop and wonder why the past tense of "remind" is "reminded" and not "remound"?
If it takes you more than 3 words to order a drink at Starbucks, we can't be friends.
I cant imagine what you have been through,
but please don't assume you know what I have.
OMG this is so Freaky! Have 8 beers & 3 shots, go to your phone the next day, press 'Recently Dialed' & the name of your crush will appear!
Are you being attacked by bees? Take this quiz to find out!
If you rub a lamp and nothing magical happens, you can use said lamp to clock someone that pisses you off.
I like to ask dudes to spell out my name when we're having sex... Then I ask them to use it in a sentence.
True Life: I can't get off the fucking Internet
Guys, wanna see her naked? Put a scale in your living room -- there's no woman alive who weighs herself completely dressed.
Losing an argument? Say stuff you can't take back! It works every time
First there was sex. Then phone sex. Then sexting. We should probably reverse this pattern.
Finally in bed. No better time to start thinking about every possible thing that has or ever could happen.
Whoever said the best things in life are free was unaware of this $.99 app that makes my phone sound like a light sabre.
English is hard to learn.
Take for example, "Fuck me in the ass".
It's either an expression of frustration or an invitation.
If you can't handle me at my drunkest you don't deserve me when I'm sober.
May the 5th be in you. Happy Cinco de Mayo!
The only thing worse than missing someone you shouldn't is; well probably a lot of stuff is worse, but it still sucks.
Total Number of Statuses:2056
Get A Life Have you ever seen a person's status on Facebook or tweet on Twitter and though, GET A LIFE! We all have those people who clutter up our mini-feed's with the dumbest stuff, and luckily we have the option to block their posts or unfollow, however there are those statuses that are so pathetic that they NEED to be shard. Here are some of the best awful statuses.
Facebook Addict Intervention Parody