Funny Epic Win Get A Life Fail Share
Regardless of how much time you think you waste, just know that someone created a very detailed Wikipedia page for Grumpy Cat.
Mosquitoes: giving you a reason to slap people in the face since the start of mankind.
Didn't wake up in a new Bugatti. Tomorrows a new day though. Never lose faith. Never give up.
My Tupperware lids and single socks are chilling somewhere laughing at me.
Strength doesn't come from what you can do. It comes from overcoming the things you once thought you couldn't.
Every time you hear a Pitbull song, you lose 2 days off your life expectancy.
I've been waiting to say "Xbox, Show Fantasy" my entire life, but fantasy sports wasn't what I had in mind.
Condoms aren't great for the environment but neither are people.
FUN FACT: Only one word in the English language is ever pronounced correctly, and that word is correctly.
People who don't eat a slice of cheese every time they open their fridge are probably serial killers.
I feel like people who eat breakfast really have their lives together
Seems like everyone is either trying to pretend they have the life they want, or escape the life they have.
Girl are you Mordor because I am too intimidated to simply walk up to you
I wish the hardest part of my day was deciding wether to drink light or full-flavored beer
If anyone every texts me "who is this" I always respond "Jake from state farm"
The only thing that excites me is food. Sometimes money, but even then it's "how much food can I buy with this money?"
Girls on Facebook: a small island in the South Pacific is "paradise." Drinking a Bud Light Lime next to an above ground pool is not.
Clapping is basically high-fiving yourself repeatedly for someone else's accomplishments.
Finding out your ex got fat is like finding 20 bucks in your pocket. Not life changing but definitely puts a smile on your face.
Total Number of Statuses:2082
Get A Life Have you ever seen a person's status on Facebook or tweet on Twitter and though, GET A LIFE! We all have those people who clutter up our mini-feed's with the dumbest stuff, and luckily we have the option to block their posts or unfollow, however there are those statuses that are so pathetic that they NEED to be shard. Here are some of the best awful statuses.
Facebook Addict Intervention Parody