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Posted 2014-08-20T18:48:45+02:00
Snails would be terrifying if they moved quickly.

Funny(1)
Comment by Anonymous

I flicked your mom's clit one time and she queefed and left a slug trail... It was kind of scary. It was like her pussy sneezed. She has really big lips too... kind of reminded me of a flying squirrel.

Posted 2014-08-19T20:07:54+02:00
I was 3 yrs old when my mom was diagnosed with my brother.

Funny(2)
Comment by Anonymous

v leave your looks out of it.

Comment by Anonymous

v You forgot funny as well. : )

Comment by Anonymous

v good call. well, at least you are a witty mother fucker... :D

Comment by Anonymous

v If I'm out banging everyone's mother, I wouldn't have time for porn, now would I? ; )

Comment by Anonymous

v your thought process is so disturbing and you seem a bit obsessed with having sex with everyone's mother. maybe you need to cut down on the porn and get outside for some fresh air.

Comment by Anonymous

How ironic... You were 3 years old when I deposited a load into your mother's fat snatch.

Posted 2014-08-19T20:02:53+02:00
Yeah but why do they call him Bigfoot if both of his feet are the exact same size

Funny(1)
Comment by Anonymous

They call your mom Bigfoot because she can fit a size 14 boot in her cunt.

Posted 2014-08-19T20:00:23+02:00
Step up in the club like, wait I gotta check-in and tag us in Facebook

Funny(2)
Comment by Anonymous

Check-in with your mom? Bitch.

Posted 2014-08-18T21:17:04+02:00
I think the creators of Grand Theft Auto vastly underestimated the amount of drivers wearing their seat belts when you're out hijacking cars

Funny(1)
Posted 2014-08-18T20:57:16+02:00
Orgasms are alot like pizza. As long as I have pizza I don't really care if you don't have any pizza.

Funny(2)
Comment by Anonymous

And just like real life, I am sure you eat your pizza alone all the time but you eat it with your other hand sometimes for variety.

Posted 2014-08-18T01:13:46+02:00
For some reason it's a lot easier to pick the lock on a safe if you're wearing a tuxedo

Funny(2)
Posted 2014-08-18T01:01:48+02:00
I'm at my best mathematically when I wake up before the time my alarm is set for

Funny(3)
Posted 2014-08-18T00:53:17+02:00
Statistically, 6 out of 7 dwarves aren't happy

Funny(3)
Comment by Anonymous

But they all will say hi to your mom the ho as off to work they go.

Posted 2014-08-18T00:50:41+02:00
The girlfriend pisses me off so much, I wanna grow old with her just to watch her die

Funny(2)
Posted by Ephrem707 2014-08-17T21:18:51+02:00
Cats have been named the #1 pet held hostage by lonely women.

Funny(2)
Comment by Anonymous

v Lol, you sound like a huge cunt. Go hug your mom, bitch.

Comment by Ephrem707

You know you make yourself look stupid when you don't know anything about the person you're trying to troll right? I'm in a relationship. Don't be mad because the movie 40 Year Old Virgin is based off of your life.

Comment by Anonymous

And they prefer them to you.

Posted 2014-08-15T21:22:37+02:00
Would you rather be buried alive in a coffin full of bats -OR- listen to all your voicemails?

Funny(2)
Posted 2014-08-15T21:20:08+02:00
The Star-Spangled Banner is sadly the only time we get to use the word spangled.

Funny(1)
Comment by Anonymous

vv v Busy mom.

Comment by Anonymous

v Damn, I was going to say that... Lol.

Comment by Anonymous

I spangled on your moms chest

Posted 2014-08-15T16:47:00+02:00
Only thing harder than quitting cold turkey is quitting warm ham. It's fucking delicious.

Funny(2)
Comment by Anonymous

v Faggot is not synonymous with homosexual. Also, Peter North is a homo, still fucks women, moron.

Comment by Anonymous

v If he was a fag he would fuck his father, moron

Comment by Anonymous

v Fuck your mother, faggot.

Comment by Anonymous

V And it still got more likes than dislikes. You fucking turd.

Comment by Anonymous

Yeah, I read this on Twitter about 6 months ago...

Posted 2014-08-15T03:23:05+02:00
Why do cops ask us why we think they pulled us over? It's their job. I dont go to the station and ask why they think I created a powerpoint.

Funny(4)
Comment by Anonymous

v Shhhh... you're going to blow my cover. ; )

Comment by Anonymous

look a cop commented =p

Comment by Anonymous

It's a rhetorical question to get people to admit guilt, twat.

Posted 2014-08-15T03:21:11+02:00
If you sneeze near an atheist, they just say "science appreciates you".

Funny(3)
Comment by Anonymous

v Prove me wrong.

Comment by Anonymous

Atheists "don't say anything because they're rude"....according to the "Christian" trolls.

Comment by Anonymous

Yea.........I saw the episode of South Park too

Comment by Anonymous

VV Pretty much only the muslims in the world today. allah damn them all.

Comment by Anonymous

You don't believe in god so were gonna kill you! - all religious people

Comment by Anonymous

v Only the weird ones tell people to burn.

Comment by Anonymous

they are rude.. of course nothing gentle as burn people... fanatic hypocrisy!!!!

Comment by Anonymous

No they don't. They don't say anything because they're rude.

Posted 2014-08-15T03:17:46+02:00
Whoever named the seesaw probably didn't get another chance to name stuff.

Funny(3)
Comment by Anonymous

Why? Did he get hit by a car or something?

Posted 2014-08-15T03:10:17+02:00
Men with big dicks are just compensating for their little trucks

Funny(1)
Comment by Anonymous

v Komm - pree - henn - shun

Comment by Anonymous

Because you are compensating for having a small brain?

Comment by Anonymous

That's why I drive an iQ. : )

Posted 2014-08-15T03:09:23+02:00
Mary Poppins was just called Mary before she got into breakdancing.

Funny(1)
Comment by Anonymous

I thought it was before 4 black guys destroyed her hymen?

Posted 2014-08-15T03:08:47+02:00
Kanye work verwy hawd. Kanye get a widdle sweepy. Kanye wub his eyes. Kanye west.

Funny(2)
Comment by Anonymous

I didn't get it :(

Comment by Anonymous

Fucking stupid, what are you 9?


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