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Posted 2014-12-19T05:59:42+01:00
If there was an award for the dumbest fucking way to possibly do something, my boss would win all the awards ever.

Funny(2)
Comment by Anonymous

You all need to get back to work now - the Boss.

Comment by Anonymous

If my boss could find a way to make money wasting time he'd be a fucking millionaire.

Posted 2014-12-19T05:48:04+01:00
Gatorade should actually make "Haterade."

Funny(1)
Posted 2014-12-18T01:51:25+01:00
You took the time to make your minivan look like a reindeer but you can't take one second to hit the turn signal an inch from your fingers?

Funny(4)
Posted 2014-12-18T00:19:07+01:00
"Your can torture and kill your own people, BUT YOU CANNOT DENY US A FRANCO/ROGEN MOVIE!!!!!" - America, according to my news feed.

Funny(4)
Comment by Anonymous

And you just proved you can be a complete idiot and get a status posted on Status Stalker

Posted 2014-12-18T00:16:41+01:00
Meanwhile everyone in North Korea is like "what is a movie"

Funny(3)
Posted 2014-12-18T00:14:41+01:00
How much whiskey goes into cookies? I'm new to this whole baking thing.

Funny(4)
Posted 2014-12-17T08:46:09+01:00
I like how automatic doors just get out of my way. I wish more inanimate objects seemed scared of me.

Funny(2)
Posted 2014-12-17T03:06:44+01:00
Cop: Are you high right now? Me: Well I was until you showed up, Buzzkill Mc.Flashlight.

Funny(2)
Posted 2014-12-15T05:50:17+01:00
That horrible feeling you get when you're not asleep anymore.

Funny(3)
Comment by Anonymous

if only that could change.

Comment by Anonymous

Someone doesn't get laid.

Comment by Anonymous

As if that would ever happen.

Comment by Anonymous

Would it really kill you people to write complete sentences and stop all these moronic fragments? SUBJECT VERB OBJECT. It's not that difficult.

Posted 2014-12-15T05:35:27+01:00
Decided to make a life altering decision today.... When I think of it I'll let you know

Funny(4)
Posted 2014-12-15T05:22:54+01:00
If cheese made you drunk, I wouldn't be able to walk right now.

Funny(2)
Posted 2014-12-15T05:21:23+01:00
If you didn't want me stopping by for cake, you shouldn't have advertised your birthday with balloons & banner on your mailbox.

Funny(7)
Posted 2014-12-15T05:18:03+01:00
This patience thing takes forever.

Funny(2)
Posted 2014-12-15T05:05:15+01:00
Normally you're not allowed to sneak down people's chimneys but there's a Santa clause in the law

Funny(5)
Posted 2014-12-13T07:56:33+01:00
Man: You look pretty today. Woman: Did I look bad yesterday? It was my hair wasn't it? You think I'm fat.

Funny(7)
Posted 2014-12-13T07:55:30+01:00
Zuckerberg says he wears a grey t-shirt everyday because he doesn't want to waste time on things that don't matter. He runs Facebook.

Funny(7)
Comment by Anonymous

and yet he is a billionaire and you're not

Posted 2014-12-13T07:53:46+01:00
When life is stressful, do something to lift your spirits. Go for a drive. Go two or three thousand miles away. Maybe change your name.

Funny(5)
Posted 2014-12-11T21:50:38+01:00
What do sleeping and sex have in common? I'm not getting nearly enough of either.

Funny(4)
Posted 2014-12-11T21:37:28+01:00
If Kutcher went to Sheen and said It's still your show, this was all a joke and yelled "You got Punked" it would be the greatest prank ever.

Funny(3)
Posted 2014-12-11T21:33:08+01:00
That's a horrible idea. What time?

Funny(3)

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