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Posted 2012-05-18T10:04:02-07:00
If the musical 'Annie' taught us anything, it's that ginger kids sure can sing, but their parents still prefer to disown them at birth.

Funny(1)
Posted 2012-05-18T10:03:40-07:00
It's weird being the only person who knows how to drive.

Funny(3)
Comment by Rogeliodgs

*sent from a Desk Computer while driving.. like a Boss

Comment by Anonymous

you need to be donkey punched.

Comment by Anonymous

*sent from an Android Phone while driving.

Posted 2012-05-18T10:03:34-07:00
I've come to realize I hate everybody who doesn't live in my phone.

Funny(1)
Posted 2012-05-18T10:03:22-07:00
You don't truly know someone until you see how they react to their bag of chips getting stuck in a vending machine

Funny(4)
Posted 2012-05-18T10:02:44-07:00
The more routine our lives become, the more important it is to have things we are passionate about. It keeps us from going insane.

Funny(1)
Comment by Anonymous

Another lonely IRL poster...you can tell.

Posted by Cain10 2012-05-18T07:38:19-07:00
I've just bought a Greek salad...Well, he didn't have any money!

Funny(1)
Comment by Anonymous

Makes no sense without speaking correctly, and then it's not funny. FAIL

Posted 2012-05-18T02:53:24-07:00
A man and his wife were awakened at 3:00 am by a loud pounding on the door. The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger, standing in the pouring rain, is asking for a push. 'Not a chance,' says the husband, 'it is 3:00 in the morning!'He slams the door and returns to bed. 'Who was that?' asked his wife. 'Just some drunk guy asking for a push,' he answers. 'Did you help him?' she asks. 'No, I did not, it is 3:00 in the morning and it is pouring rain out there!''Well, you have a short memory,' says his wife. 'Can't you remember about three months ago when we broke down, and those two guys helped us? I think you should help him, and you should be ashamed of yourself!' The man does as he is told, gets dressed, and goes out into the pounding rain. He calls out into the dark, 'Hello, are you still there?' 'Yes,' comes back the answer. 'Do you still need a push?' calls out the husband. 'Yes, please!' comes the reply from the dark. 'Where are you?' asks the husband. 'Over here on the swing,' replied the drunk.

Funny(5)
Comment by Despin

I thought it was pretty funny, lol!!!

Comment by Anonymous

Omg.... Such waste of time. I an not believe it! And honestly.... This I the first time ever that I am leaving a negative comment. I never thought I would do it.... But this thing.... It was waaaaaaayyy toooo long but I kept thinking that something great and really funny will come out of it. I'm still waiting for that.... It never happened. It never will.

Comment by Planet

actually couldn't make heads nor tails of it...went back and re-read several times.

Comment by Anonymous

Zzzzzzzzzz...

Comment by Anonymous

Damn planet, you read really slow! J/K, this was a waste of time

Comment by Planet

took me two minutes to read thru this mess........thats two minutes of my life I just can't get back..........BASTARD,!

Comment by Anonymous

Lame, old, and retired.

Posted 2012-05-17T19:50:27-07:00
Just wanted to let you know that I love you even though you aren't naked right now.

Funny(1)
Posted 2012-05-17T19:48:38-07:00
I miss being angry at you...

Funny(1)
Posted 2012-05-17T09:01:59-07:00
I'm not nodding to say yes about your idea....The voices in my head are agreeing with me that you're an idiot

Funny(3)
Comment by Anonymous

i get it but it's dumb as fuck.

Comment by Anonymous

Youre an idiot if you dont get it

Comment by Anonymous

I don't get it

Posted 2012-05-17T03:09:36-07:00
Listen, I'm not calling her a slut. I'm just simply stating that if her vagina had a password, it would be 'password'.

Funny(3)
Comment by Anonymous

1234 is the password

Comment by Anonymous

ive been trolling this forum for over a year now and ever seen it. go fuck yourself mr anonymous

Posted 2012-05-17T02:39:02-07:00
so they say when you dream of someone that that person misses you, thats amazing............i had no idea shakira was even aware of my existence

Funny(1)
Posted by Sauezb 2012-05-16T21:47:26-07:00
My phone autocorrects "Yolo" to "Tool". Go figure.

Funny(2)
Posted 2012-05-16T21:02:01-07:00
I tried to share a meal with a homeless guy I saw sitting on a bench last night. He told me to get lost and buy my own.

Funny(1)
Posted 2012-05-16T18:51:09-07:00
Some of you need to stick to stealing posts because these statuses are about as bad as farting on a Window and licking the condensation!

Funny(1)
Posted by Dnator15 2012-05-16T18:44:35-07:00
Admit it, at some point in time you've tried to see if you had superpowers.

Funny(1)
Posted 2012-05-16T18:37:57-07:00
I'm more worn out than a cucumber in a convent...

Funny(1)
Posted by Roozieroo23 2012-05-16T14:26:22-07:00
I'm so hardcore, I don't even report to Apple when Safari unexpectedly quits. Snitches get Stitches.

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Posted by Roozieroo23 2012-05-16T14:11:33-07:00
What you're doing is creepy. Oh you're attractive? Then it's totally adorable.

Funny(1)
Posted 2012-05-16T13:13:46-07:00
eHarmony should be more like Amazon "customers who slept with Tina172 also slept with LuvinLife_83, TaintMisbehavin, and Cat_Lover03".

Funny(2)
Comment by Anonymous

WTF gaylords? Has that word even been used since the 80s?

Comment by Anonymous

I agree with the first comment.

Comment by Anonymous

i disliked this because im on of those who can actually get a date on their own . eharmony is for gaylords


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