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Posted 2016-01-10T17:42:31-07:00
I wish "friends with benefits" meant your friends paid all of your bills.

Funny(7)
Comment by Anonymous

Don't mind me, just an innocent comment passing through looking for funny statuses.

Comment by Anonymous

Everyone knows to hate the goat fucking muslims. Quit hating on each other. Oh yeah, fuck Mexicans too.

Comment by Anonymous

V You're both fucking pussies.

Comment by Anonymous

VV You guys leave Beyonce alone!

Comment by Anonymous

VV says the lying, stealing, raping nigger.

Comment by Anonymous

V You are the best your race has to offer? Faggots would fuck thier sisters? Next time stay in school longer, ignorant cocksucker.

Comment by Anonymous

Fuck white people. Inbred, sister fucking faggots.

Comment by Anonymous

Instead of bitching about the site, start posting new shit on this thread people!

Comment by Anonymous

Donald Trump use to run this site till he ran for election.

Comment by Anonymous

let me take over

Comment by Anonymous

We apologize. The admin of this site has passed away.

Comment by Anonymous

This site sucks asshole now

Comment by Anonymous

ok 13 days! time for new shit so i can seem funny and witty

Posted 2016-01-10T17:20:21-07:00
My favorite beer is the next one.

Funny(2)
Posted 2016-01-10T17:15:41-07:00
Considering we've produced Miley Cyrus and Kanye West, I'm more surprised other countries haven't built a wall around the U.S.

Funny(3)
Posted 2016-01-10T17:15:28-07:00
Whenever a wrong number calls me and hangs up I always call em back and tell them it was their loss because I'm really fun to talk to.

Funny(4)
Posted 2016-01-10T17:15:18-07:00
If a Donkey and Zebra ever mate they'd have to call the offspring a Zonkey because Debra is already taken.

Funny(5)
Comment by Anonymous

There actually was a zebra and donkey that mated and they called the baby a zedonk (zee donk)

Comment by Anonymous

Yeah, because Debra was already taken.

Comment by Anonymous

Fun Fact: Donkeys and zebras actually can mate and their offspring is actually called a zonkey

Posted 2016-01-10T17:12:15-07:00
So apparently RSVP'ing back to a wedding invite 'maybe next time' isn't the correct response

Funny(2)
Posted 2016-01-10T17:07:27-07:00
Stalker level: I'm stealing your wifi to post this.

Funny(1)
Posted 2016-01-10T17:03:53-07:00
I get my hair cut twice a week. Mostly because I love capes.

Funny(2)
Posted 2016-01-08T08:57:54-07:00
Fun Fact: Valentine's Day was created by a woman than didn't get what she wanted for Christmas.

Funny(1)
Posted 2015-12-29T09:55:43-07:00
Please be more careful with your tacos. I just found them in my mouth.

Funny(2)
Posted 2015-12-29T09:49:48-07:00
I don't know why smokey the bear carries a shovel, but it scares the shit out of me.

Funny(4)
Comment by Anonymous

So he can use it to hit people who make dumb status updates.

Comment by Anonymous

It's to throw dirt on the fire. ☺

Posted 2015-12-29T09:49:01-07:00
Doc says I have a rare condition where I can read something I don't agree with and just let it be.

Funny(1)
Comment by Anonymous

That rare condition is more common than you might think. It's called apathy.

Posted 2015-12-29T09:46:02-07:00
Girl are u a hoverboard because you are on fire

Funny(1)
Comment by Anonymous

And you're an octopus because this status sucks.

Posted 2015-12-21T03:30:53-07:00
On a scale of 1 to Steve Harvey, how confused are you?

Funny(5)
Posted 2015-12-13T18:55:34-07:00
How many selfies does it take to get to the center of attention?

Funny(5)
Comment by Anonymous

Does your mom make you replace the ss with 55? It makes you look like a pussy.

Comment by Anonymous

Bobby is smarter than your dumba55

Comment by Anonymous

V wow you learned how to spell bobby. That is impressive for someone with your IQ

Comment by Anonymous

Bobby is a nigger

Comment by Anonymous

Hi guys ! My name is Bobby !

Comment by Anonymous

V I bet if you try really hard you can learn to spell another word.

Comment by Anonymous

My friend the owl says it takes 3 selfies to get to the center of attention.. or maybe I am thinking of a tootsie roll pop.

Comment by Anonymous

It depends on whether or not your are a Khardashian.

Comment by Anonymous

^you must be one of those fucking morons who constantly takes selfies.

Comment by Anonymous

Last time I checked, 0.

Posted 2015-12-13T18:49:03-07:00
The hardest part about being humble is not telling people how much better I am than they are.

Funny(2)
Comment by Anonymous

The hardest part about being delusional is not understand just how wrong you are.

Posted 2015-12-13T18:36:49-07:00
The only part I like about doing laundry is saying I've got a big load

Funny(3)
Comment by Anonymous

Thus waa funny.. the douchebags below are jealous.

Comment by Anonymous

Maybe you should change your diaper then.

Posted 2015-12-13T18:31:54-07:00
It's funny how as you get older you relate more to the villains in Disney than the Princesses.

Funny(3)
Posted 2015-12-13T18:14:48-07:00
Can't have a bed of roses without a thick layer of manure.

Funny(2)
Comment by Anonymous

Is that why you talk shit so much?

Posted 2015-12-13T18:12:30-07:00
Neurons only work after they're fired.

Funny(3)

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