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Posted 2013-04-13T06:17:16+02:00
Cop: did you see that sign? Me: yeah I saw the sign,..don't say it don't say....and it opened up my eyes, Cop: out of the car

Fail(3)
Comment by Anonymous

Song lyrics... I saw the sign.

Comment by Anonymous

I guess I'm not cool enough to understand this.

Posted 2013-04-13T05:39:44+02:00
If President Obama walked on water, his critics would say "see he can't even swim."

Fail(8)
Comment by Anonymous

This is ridiculously stupid...whether you like Obama or not. And YES, he's TERRIBLE at his job and at life in general. I don't know if McCain or Romney would have been good but that doesn't change the fact that Obama SUCKS AT LIFE.

Comment by Anonymous

Anyone would have done better than that idiot. You can't get the ghetto out of this maroon in office. You voted for him because he was black and he's in favor of gay people. He's done nothing for America other than notarize fucking the same sex with a smile. Fucking idiocracy! You are all one big continental fucking Walmart!!!

Comment by Anonymous

Obama is the worst president to ever walk into the oval office. A bunch of you who support are in total fucking denial. Fuck you all for participating in the hype of that god damn campaign of his. The country is going into deeper hole now. The only thing that seems to be important for all of you is passing gay marriage. What a non political issue. Another band wagon hype isuue. America is great at doing shit like that. You are all a bunch of fuckheads with meaningless lives. A new war should do you good. Suck my fucking ass.

Comment by Anonymous

All of you Blue and Red sheep are fucking retarded. The Obama administration is corrupt as fuck. Blaming the other side doesn't make his terms less corrupt. "but Bush and Romney and McCain would be worse." Shut the fuck up. That doesn't change that Obama sucks at his job.

Comment by Anonymous

and when his shoes got wet, his supporters would blame Bush for it

Comment by Anonymous

Obama will suck even if he could fly without wings. You don't need to be a critic to figure that out. You must be one dumb fuck clearly walking in denial.

Comment by Anonymous

you are all idiots........like romney or mccain would have done any better.......dumbasses

Comment by Anonymous

black people can swim

Comment by Anonymous

According to his supporters, apparently he already did walk on water. Right before he created world peace, outscored every graduate who has ever graduated, lowered the sea level, fed every starving child by hand, and repaired the economies of the entire world. And he did it all with a mere swing of a golf club. And woe unto him who may deny the almighty power of the Obama. He shall be ridiculed unto the ends of the earth; for the Obama can do no evil. Thus sayeth the Democrat.

Comment by Anonymous

What black guy can swim? Get real.

Comment by Anonymous

If Obama supporters had a brain, they wouldn't be Obama supporters.

Comment by Anonymous

He'd want me to pay for it!! Obama = America's worst decision ever!!!

Posted 2013-04-12T20:30:22+02:00
There's no life situation 7th Heaven didn't prepare me for. Now move over and let me fly this plane.

Fail(4)
Comment by Anonymous

Times is tough for status's

Posted 2013-04-12T04:59:58+02:00
Coke from a glass bottle > Coke from a can > Coke from a plastic bottle.

Fail(4)
Comment by Anonymous

Pure Columbian coke on a mirror >

Comment by Anonymous

v Awesome. : )

Comment by Anonymous

• »нєн(ړײ)нєн« • to V

Comment by Anonymous

Real Jokes > Lame jokes > Your "joke."

Comment by Anonymous

Beer from a keg > beer from a glass bottle > beer from a can

Comment by Anonymous

Coke from a black guy > Coke from a glass bottle

Comment by Anonymous

Ok? The evolution of Coke?

Comment by Anonymous

Nothing beats coke from.a glass bottle .

Posted 2013-04-12T04:40:24+02:00
Will u date me? breathe if yes, swim across the Atlantic Ocean while reciting the Bible in Japanese if no

Fail(4)
Posted 2013-04-12T04:18:50+02:00
I'm not saying Southerner's are crazy but I dress my kids in orange during deer season.

Fail(2)
Posted 2013-04-11T15:33:06+02:00
I like to order my food through the drive through and tell them it's for "here"... Then I park and go inside and wait to be served at the table.

Fail(3)
Comment by Anonymous

Dumb and dumber

Comment by Anonymous

Does that really work?! That's just mean!

Posted 2013-04-11T05:12:20+02:00
First rule of juice cleanse: ALWAYS talk about juice cleanse.

Fail(3)
Posted 2013-04-11T04:03:00+02:00
Hey people who ask for the link to things, here it is, for everything ever: http://google.com . Now fucking stop burdening society.

Fail(2)
Comment by Anonymous

I liked it, so you're all humorless bitches

Posted 2013-04-10T19:31:29+02:00
Girl are you Scar from the lion king because you hurt my pride

Fail(8)
Comment by Anonymous

so bad it's funny

Comment by Anonymous

Am I the only person who finds this pretty funny

Comment by Anonymous

Bad, but kind of funny....ish

Comment by Anonymous

Jeez this is bad

Comment by Anonymous

Go stand in the corner!

Comment by Anonymous

what girls are you meeting... damn!

Comment by Anonymous

Bet you were up all night working on that one

Posted 2013-04-09T03:57:36+02:00
Crazy that we can put a man on the moon but can't make a single song lyrics website that won't give my computer 1000 viruses immediately

Fail(3)
Comment by Anonymous

Or you can actually pay for your fucking music. Imagine that

Comment by Anonymous

There is like a million apps for that on your phone...

Posted 2013-04-06T21:46:06+02:00
I imagine my generation nursing homes, with Justin Bieber as hallway music and Gangnam Style in the dining rooms. It gives me nightmares.

Fail(3)
Posted 2013-04-06T21:09:27+02:00
Isn't there a way we can just kickstarter gay marriage?

Fail(4)
Comment by Anonymous

v No, shame on you, fuck stick.

Comment by Anonymous

Shame on all you previous commenters.

Comment by Anonymous

Hey fag 3 comments down, hurry up and die from AIDS because you are fuckin' stupid.

Comment by Anonymous

What a dumbass status. I should stab u in the temple with a railroad spike

Comment by Anonymous

Best way to "kickstart" gay marriage.....to legalize polygamous marriage...after all, the fags do mean equal marriage rights for ALL, and not just marriage rights for gays...., right? Right? RIGHT??? Take your civil unions and stop bitching

Comment by Anonymous

Hey hetero's, if you don't like fags, STOP FUCKING YOUR BITCHES!! That would solve everything. Only 3 or 4 decades of you "straight" people and NO fucking, would probably do it. Remember, Heterosexuality breeds Homosexuality. If there's any people to blame for fags being born, it's you HETERO'S!!

Comment by Anonymous

Why aren't you dead, loser?

Comment by Anonymous

Yeah, gas showers just like in WWII.

Posted 2013-04-05T04:39:27+02:00
It's kinda sad that Shakira's hips are our generation's George Washington.

Fail(7)
86112
Comment by Anonymous

Thumbs up for the guy who gave a thumbs down to the socialist European!!!!!

Comment by Anonymous

vvvvvv I masturbated too

Comment by Anonymous

What the hell? Regardless of whether this status was funny or not (it wasn't) some people on this page need to get laid rather than stoop to using a seventh grade vocabulary...

Comment by Anonymous

I have more oxygen in my lungs due to getting out more than the air that has collected in your head. Enjoy your weekend, o' great one easily amused by clowns and asshats.

Comment by Anonymous

LMAO at that one guy who said this was an "intelligent joke"!! You obviously need to get out more sir.

Comment by Anonymous

Sensitive little Brit aren't you? You're convinced that if I brought this view to an audience that I'd be slightly irked by their possible scary response? I could never be so fucking delighted knowing that a frown could be instilled upon every asshole in the room all because I spoke the truth. And, that's why people like you follow the band wagon instead and remain in the back of the classroom keeping their mouthes shut as opposed to really speaking their mind. Fuck this audence. They're too fucking stupid to understand anything that involves an IQ above a chimp's and dismiss it as "using big words". Quit being a fucking dork and realize that you're because what I said in the 3rd comment described your entire personality to the fucking T. Admit it and bow down!

Comment by Anonymous

Thumbs down for the ignorant arrogant fucking twat who wrote the 3rd comment. What an absolute idiot. Oh yeah hate on oeople because they don't like your pathetic joke, well done mate cop the fuck on you fucking Yank. No one gives two shits what you think of red necked uneducated moron we probably all have a higher level of education than you do. Do you live with your mum and like to use big words to make yourself feel smart? Everyone thinks you're thick so hop off your high horse and if you think your jokes are SO funny try a career in comedy. I guarantee your actual audiences will be a lot harsher and a bigger worry than the opinions of strangers on the Internet.

Comment by Anonymous

I masterbated while reading these comments

Comment by Anonymous

Thumbs down for socialist Europeans!

Comment by Anonymous

This status actually does rule. Unfortunately, the majority of SS followers are a bunch of typical urban rednecked uneducated fuck wads who wouldn't know a intelligent joke from their own Stephanie Meyer reading fuck hole. Hence, why the masses hop on the wagon of every topic that's popular, like faggot marriage and horseshit hipster Occupy protests. You are an utter shit for brains if you don't understand it. Continue looking up fart noises and fuck your mom jokes on YouTube, illiterate motherfucker.

Comment by Anonymous

V... I think they were talking about the story where Washington chopped down a cherry tree as a kid and when confronted by his dad said, "I can not tell a lie" Since Shakira made a song with the lyrics that her "hips don't lie". History lesson over and this status still sucks.

Comment by Anonymous

Abraham Lincoln bro..its "Honest Abe", not "honest George"

Posted 2013-04-04T02:49:04+02:00
Interesting that on Opposite Day you cannot declare that it is so.

Fail(2)
Posted 2013-04-04T02:46:48+02:00
Any dog under fifty pounds is a cat

Fail(3)
Comment by Anonymous

Ron Swanson thief

Comment by Anonymous

No a rat • »нєн(ړײ)нєн« •

Posted 2013-04-03T00:00:52+02:00
Dance like no one is watching, fuck like your ex is.

Fail(6)
Comment by Anonymous

Sheeeeeeeeetttttt

Comment by Anonymous

To put the obvious watching at end spoils it maybe put an idiot bracket fir people like below

Comment by Anonymous

This is not a very powerful joke.

Comment by Anonymous

Fuck like your ex is.... what...? Like they're watching? Like your ex is... what?

Posted 2013-04-01T16:19:56+02:00
Wondering if April Fools Day was the day after the first Easter "LOL Sorry Guys - Jesus is actually still dead - We got you good though!!!!"

Fail(6)
Comment by Anonymous

Do I sound religious when I say, FUCK Proposition 8?

Comment by Anonymous

Why can't religious people just lighten up a bit. Why can't someone make a joke and you just smile a bit. Chill...

Comment by Anonymous

Yeah, and it still looks like I am able to freely say, FUCK Proposition 8!

Comment by Anonymous

Wow, looks like we got two lovers posting before mine.

Comment by Anonymous

↓↓↓↓↓↓Yes! I couldn't have. said it better myself!

Comment by Anonymous

Propisition 8 is an April Fools joke. Try laughing now, cock sucker.

Posted 2013-03-30T04:09:31+01:00
Thinking about buying the machine from Honey I Shrunk the Kids so I can shrink Shaq and make him slam dunk doughnut holes into my mouth.

Fail(3)
Comment by Anonymous

This makes me want to kill you

Comment by Anonymous

Just about the gayest Shit I've read today

Comment by Anonymous

doughnuts = testicles

Posted 2013-03-29T14:41:57+01:00
Money won't buy happiness, but it will buy you a fancy car and you can pull up and park right next to it.

Fail(2)
Comment by Anonymous

Incorrectly used David Lee Roth quote. Replace car with yacht.


Total Number of Statuses:1097

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