Funny Epic Win Get A Life Fail Share
No matter what i get on the internet for, I always end up on facebook
It's payday which means only 2 more weeks until I have money again for a few hours.
Don't make the same typo I did in a text to my girlfriend: "Having a great time wish you were her."
Quick! What's the world record for longest turd? I don't want to bag and tag this baby for nothing.
If hooters changes to a door-to-door service, would they change thier name to knockers?
astrologists probably shouldve kept the the new signs thing a secret cuz facebook might implode with girls complaining about it
I wish dogs wouldn't get so angry at me for walking by their fences
You know your ego is too big when it enters the room before you do.
Remember the bridge you drive over today was built by the lowest bidder.
note to self: don't set your password reminder as "you should know this"
Stop using "that is all" at the end of your posts. That is all.
I may not be perfect, but I'm always me, and that's something you could never be.
Note to self: "Bring sexy back"
I wish all of life's decisions were as simple as going to Denny's when you're shitfaced.
When I'm rich, I'm going to dictate my status updates to my secretary, and my butler will press the share button.
MySpace is the fannypack of the internet.
Sarah Palin can see China from the hole she's digging.
A new study found that ESP could actually be real. I read about it in tomorrow’s paper.
I wanted to try out my Spanish skills, so why not the Spanish version of instructions at the ATM, but then I was like- what if it gives me pesos?
I cheated on my fears, broke up with my doubts, got engaged to my faith and now I'm marrying my dreams
Total Number of Statuses:4780
Epic Statuses Not everything is Epic, but these statuses are! These legendary statuses will be remembered and used over and over again until the end of time, probably. If you think you have an epic status submit it now!
Facebook Addict Intervention Parody