Status Stalker: The Home of The Funny Status : Epic Statuses

Posted 2011-01-26T06:54:21+01:00

You can tell a lot about a person by what their phone's background is.

Epic(4)

18 6 0

Posted 2011-01-26T01:21:07+01:00

Go to google and press I'm feeling lucky after typing: LOLLIMEWIRE

Epic(2)

0 0 10

Comment by Anonymous

Yeah I was a pirate once

Comment by Anonymous

Do what you want cuz a pirate is free, you are a pirate! YARHAR!

its malacious....

Thats stupid

Sounds stupid...

its a flash file where a pirate is dancing lol

Comment by Anonymous

It has flash. It's this song about being a pirate lol

Comment by Anonymous

Or the iPad

Comment by Anonymous

Doesnt work on a iPhone

Comment by Anonymous

Someone do it and tell me what happens...

Posted 2011-01-26T01:15:31+01:00

The older man in the elevator said he was looking forward to retirement. "How many days do you have left?" I asked. Him: 2,743.

Epic(2)

5 22 0

Posted 2011-01-26T00:34:38+01:00

I don't take anything you say seriously. You're just an idiot who has internet access.

Epic(3)

48 8 0

Posted 2011-01-25T22:35:50+01:00

When someone tries to impress you, it means they're impressed by you.

Epic(3)

45 4 1

Comment by Anonymous

Unless of course, you are their boss. In that case, it just means give me a damn raise.

Posted 2011-01-25T06:13:22+01:00

Here's your social security card. It's paper & has to last you forever. Don't laminate it. Good luck! -The Government

Epic(4)

115 6 1

Comment by Anonymous

i wonder why we arent supposed to laminate it?

Posted 2011-01-25T06:10:32+01:00

those nights when you can't sleep, you just might be in someone else's dreams

Epic(3)

43 10 0

Posted 2011-01-25T06:04:51+01:00

My ex and I were happy for a long time, but then we met each other.

Epic(3)

0 0 0

Posted by Bnicoleox 2011-01-24T22:01:23+01:00

Break the rules, drink some shots, live your life, and laugh a lot.

Epic(2)

22 8 0

Posted 2011-01-24T21:30:36+01:00

Life Goal: make it to the bottom of my chapstick before losing it.

Epic(6)

59 8 0

Posted 2011-01-24T20:35:23+01:00

AND YOU GET A HALF SISTER! AND YOU GET A HALF SISTER! AND YOU GET A HALF SISTER!

Epic(6)

24 80 6

Comment by Anonymous

OHHHHHH!!!!!

Comment by Anonymous

**oprah

Comment by Anonymous

its opera, she has a half sister she found out about...too funny

Comment by Anonymous

i don't get it????

Comment by Anonymous

I agree! So funny!

Comment by Anonymous

i dont know why but this epic and truly funny!! i lmao for like 10 mins

Posted 2011-01-24T20:34:43+01:00

Everything Bagels are a lie! Where are the M&M's?

Epic(2)

11 32 0

Posted 2011-01-24T18:11:36+01:00

When life gives you a hundred reasons to cry, show life that you have a thousand reasons to smile.

Epic(3)

35 7 0

Posted 2011-01-24T05:07:45+01:00

You show me a woman who doesn't feel guilty and I'll show you a man.

Epic(2)

33 13 0

Posted by Lamp 2011-01-24T05:05:51+01:00

I love it when people call me at 3 AM. "Hey, are you asleep?" "No, I'm skydiving."

Epic(8)

68 6 0

Posted 2011-01-24T04:42:25+01:00

Why does Facebook give me the option to like my own status? Of course I like it, I wrote it.

Epic(9)

73 4 0

Posted 2011-01-23T19:14:22+01:00

Facebook: a place to be unoriginal and be "liked" for it.

Epic(1)

18 8 0

Posted 2011-01-23T04:22:18+01:00

If you're single and watching "The Notebook" alone, you're probably depressed.

Epic(2)

20 18 2

Comment by Anonymous

or female or ghey.

Comment by Anonymous

ahh what?

Posted 2011-01-23T04:18:48+01:00

Flirting with bartenders is called a discount.

Epic(4)

32 4 3

Comment by Anonymous

HAHAHAHHAHAAHAHHHAHHAHHA

Comment by Anonymous

vvv stupid

Comment by Anonymous

OR sexual harassment.

Posted 2011-01-22T23:52:34+01:00

I need to get out of bed and do something so I can justify taking a nap later.

Epic(2)

46 4 0

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