Funny Epic Win Get A Life Fail Share
I'm like a kid in a candy store. I can't afford anything.
Calm the fuck down, different flavored Oreos. Nobody wants to make that kind of decision. Regular or Double stuff was hard enough.
You haven't really made it until people start using your name as a verb.
Shit's spiraling out of control and I'm all like "wheeeee."
I know I've had enough to drink when I have to concentrate to blink.
I'm a little stumped by this beer to pee volume ratio.
Thou shalt not start Christmas advertising when it is still October.
Do people who run know that we're not food anymore
Nothing says "I've already given up on this day" quite like a Taco Bell breakfast.
It's crazy to think that we constantly spin in the void of space on the arm of a spinning galaxy and some people are worried about dudes kissing
If you're suffering from injustice or oppression, hang in there; we're posting on social media as hard as we can
This is America, not France, please call him TheBron
Your hair turns white when you get old for evolutionary reasons. Predators leave you alone if they think you're a wizard
Why can't the ice cream man just get a fuckin liquor license already
Sext: You drunk yet or should I try back again in an hour?
Nothing like an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant" to make you feel like a Harvard double major.
If you love someone set them free, and then follow their life without you on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram for eternity
Why was 2 afraid of Blink 1? Because Blink182.
I like my coffee like I like my slaves.
Free, you racist.
I DON'T UNDERSTAND IT! WHY THE FUCK WOULD SOMEBODY BREAK INTO A HOUSE JUST TO STEAL A REMOTE CON-Never mind, I found it.
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