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Posted 2014-10-21T01:45:34+02:00
I'm like a kid in a candy store. I can't afford anything.

-1(0)
Posted 2014-10-21T01:34:38+02:00
Calm the fuck down, different flavored Oreos. Nobody wants to make that kind of decision. Regular or Double stuff was hard enough.

-1(0)
Posted 2014-10-21T01:21:10+02:00
You haven't really made it until people start using your name as a verb.

-1(0)
Posted 2014-10-21T01:20:21+02:00
Shit's spiraling out of control and I'm all like "wheeeee."

-1(0)
Posted 2014-10-21T01:19:16+02:00
I know I've had enough to drink when I have to concentrate to blink.

-1(0)
Posted 2014-10-21T01:16:40+02:00
I'm a little stumped by this beer to pee volume ratio.

-1(0)
Posted 2014-10-21T01:14:19+02:00
NEW COMMANDMENT: Thou shalt not start Christmas advertising when it is still October.

-1(0)
Posted 2014-10-21T01:11:37+02:00
Do people who run know that we're not food anymore

Get a Life(1)
Posted 2014-10-20T06:16:48+02:00
Nothing says "I've already given up on this day" quite like a Taco Bell breakfast.

Get a Life(1)
Posted 2014-10-20T02:59:29+02:00
It's crazy to think that we constantly spin in the void of space on the arm of a spinning galaxy and some people are worried about dudes kissing

Get a Life(2)
Posted 2014-10-20T02:51:54+02:00
If you're suffering from injustice or oppression, hang in there; we're posting on social media as hard as we can

Get a Life(1)
Posted 2014-10-20T02:49:51+02:00
This is America, not France, please call him TheBron

Get a Life(1)
Comment by Anonymous

VV Maybe if you got a job and moved out of your parents house you would gain some self respect and stop being so angry.

Comment by Anonymous

V Try staying on your meds and ask your mom to show you where the caps lock key is so you look like less of a douche.

Comment by Anonymous

FUCK YOUR MOM YOU WORTHLESS PILE OF SHIT!!

Comment by Anonymous

Sharp and crsip humor

Posted 2014-10-20T02:46:38+02:00
Your hair turns white when you get old for evolutionary reasons. Predators leave you alone if they think you're a wizard

Funny(1)
Posted 2014-10-20T00:01:49+02:00
Why can't the ice cream man just get a fuckin liquor license already

Epic(1)
Posted 2014-10-19T23:59:28+02:00
Sext: You drunk yet or should I try back again in an hour?

Funny(1)
Posted 2014-10-19T23:46:46+02:00
Nothing like an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant" to make you feel like a Harvard double major.

Funny(2)
Posted 2014-10-19T23:45:41+02:00
If you love someone set them free, and then follow their life without you on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram for eternity

Funny(1)
Posted 2014-10-19T06:30:41+02:00
Why was 2 afraid of Blink 1? Because Blink182.

Fail(2)
Comment by Anonymous

Just go die somewhere for this

Posted 2014-10-19T06:21:42+02:00
I like my coffee like I like my slaves. Free, you racist.

Funny(3)
Comment by Anonymous

Fail you racist

Comment by Anonymous

I hear Ya man! I hate having to pay for my slaves too.

Posted 2014-10-19T06:08:39+02:00
I DON'T UNDERSTAND IT! WHY THE FUCK WOULD SOMEBODY BREAK INTO A HOUSE JUST TO STEAL A REMOTE CON-Never mind, I found it.

Funny(2)

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