Get A Life
8 months 20 hours 8 minutes 16 seconds ago
This town's getting on my nerves, gonna blow off some steam by doing a dance routine at the abandoned warehouse.
8 months 20 hours 8 minutes 39 seconds ago
When they take my driver's license photo I try to look as drunk as possible.
8 months 20 hours 20 minutes 18 seconds ago
[Second Day As A Kamikaze Pilot] Boss: Can I see you in my office for a second
8 months 20 hours 21 minutes 32 seconds ago
Has anyone tried unplugging the country and plugging it back in
8 months 20 hours 23 minutes 17 seconds ago
When Edgar Allen Poe said “Nevermore”, I felt that.
8 months 20 hours 23 minutes 36 seconds ago
From 1 to Ray Liotta, how creepy are you
8 months 20 hours 23 minutes 48 seconds ago
A diamond heist, but to steal puppies from pet stores.
8 months 20 hours 26 minutes 4 seconds ago
If she doesn't get this reference, she's too young for you bro.
8 months 20 hours 28 minutes 9 seconds ago
Sure, sex is great, but have you ever got all green lights on your way home
8 months 20 hours 29 minutes 55 seconds ago
I stay woke motherfuckers ‘cause I have terrible insomnia.
8 months 20 hours 30 minutes 3 seconds ago
When I say I’m not being sarcastic the sarcasm is implied.
8 months 20 hours 31 minutes 1 second ago
Your typos bring great dishonor to your family
8 months 20 hours 31 minutes 31 seconds ago
I wanted to make a joke about eating ass, but it was very tongue-in-cheek...
8 months 20 hours 34 minutes 5 seconds ago
I had another cup of coffee but it still feels like Monday.
8 months 20 hours 35 minutes 47 seconds ago
My mind is sponsored by Coffee.
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