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Posted 3 months 28 days 17 hours 53 minutes 56 seconds ago
This town's getting on my nerves, gonna blow off some steam by doing a dance routine at the abandoned warehouse.
Epic(1)
8 18
Posted 3 months 28 days 17 hours 54 minutes 19 seconds ago
When they take my driver's license photo I try to look as drunk as possible.
Epic(2)
8 12
Posted 3 months 28 days 18 hours 5 minutes 58 seconds ago
[Second Day As A Kamikaze Pilot] Boss: Can I see you in my office for a second
Epic(2)
5 11
Posted 3 months 28 days 18 hours 7 minutes 12 seconds ago
Has anyone tried unplugging the country and plugging it back in
Epic(1)
13 9
Posted 3 months 28 days 18 hours 8 minutes 57 seconds ago
When Edgar Allen Poe said “Nevermore”, I felt that.
Epic(1)
5 11
Posted 3 months 28 days 18 hours 9 minutes 16 seconds ago
From 1 to Ray Liotta, how creepy are you
Epic(1)
4 13
Posted 3 months 28 days 18 hours 9 minutes 28 seconds ago
A diamond heist, but to steal puppies from pet stores.
Epic(1)
4 12
Posted 3 months 28 days 18 hours 11 minutes 44 seconds ago
If she doesn't get this reference, she's too young for you bro.
Epic(1)
4 14
Posted 3 months 28 days 18 hours 13 minutes 49 seconds ago
Sure, sex is great, but have you ever got all green lights on your way home
Epic(2)
9 7
Posted 3 months 28 days 18 hours 15 minutes 35 seconds ago
I stay woke motherfuckers ‘cause I have terrible insomnia.
Epic(1)
5 9
Posted 3 months 28 days 18 hours 15 minutes 43 seconds ago
When I say I’m not being sarcastic the sarcasm is implied.
Epic(1)
13 2
Posted 3 months 28 days 18 hours 16 minutes 41 seconds ago
Your typos bring great dishonor to your family
Epic(1)
5 9
Posted 3 months 28 days 18 hours 17 minutes 11 seconds ago
I wanted to make a joke about eating ass, but it was very tongue-in-cheek...
Epic(1)
6 9
Posted 3 months 28 days 18 hours 19 minutes 45 seconds ago
I had another cup of coffee but it still feels like Monday.
Epic(1)
6 7
Posted 3 months 28 days 18 hours 21 minutes 27 seconds ago
My mind is sponsored by Coffee.
Epic(1)
5 7