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Posted 2013-05-22T20:46:09+02:00
Sleeping TOO well lately? Fixable! Get 1000% terrified in no time! Just click Gmail's audio CAPTCHA (audio symbol) http://bit.ly/ScaK8

Get a Life(2)
1174
Comment by Anonymous

I guess you guys stopped screening what's posted here..

Comment by Anonymous

What?

Comment by Anonymous

Are their no standards?

Comment by Anonymous

How the fuck did this get posted here? I've contributed plenty of stuff here, only half as bad that hasn't gotten thru.

Posted 2013-05-22T20:41:12+02:00
I'm not saying I'm poor, but I have my credit card Large Purchase Alert set at $5.

-1(0)
320
Posted 2013-05-22T19:47:03+02:00
Christopher Walken talks like he swallowed too many commas.

-1(0)
635
Comment by Anonymous

This is from Twitter.

Comment by Anonymous

Vv your momma, bitch vv

Comment by Anonymous

Who the fuck is Christopher Walken!?!

Comment by Anonymous

u should know dahhhhhhhhhhh good comeback

Comment by Anonymous

You shouldd know

Posted 2013-05-22T18:48:12+02:00
Yahoo CEO Marissa Mayer just read some of your Tumblr's and she wants her billion dollars back.

Funny(1)
540
Posted 2013-05-22T18:34:54+02:00
Somewhere in America, the 2040 President of the United States just took a selfie.

Funny(2)
945
Comment by Anonymous

I'm pretty sure they meant the year 2040, idiot who commented first needs to learn how to read.

Comment by Anonymous

he may like politics and math, but clearly didnt care to much about english class. It says 2040 president not the 2040th president.

Comment by Anonymous

hey first dumb ass that opened you're big ass mouth without thinking, they were talking about the year 2040

Comment by Anonymous

vvv Really likes politics and math..

Comment by Anonymous

Uh...try a smaller number, dipshit. We are only on our 44th President. Let's just say, for sake of arguement, that each one of our next Presidents is only a one term President, it would be 7984 years before we had the 2040th President. They aren't even close to being alive yet, dumb ass.

Posted by Try2stopme 2013-05-22T17:13:35+02:00
Marriage is grand; divorce, a hundred grand.

Get a Life(2)
740
Posted 2013-05-22T17:12:36+02:00
Really had my heart set on waking up rich today.

Funny(3)
632
Comment by Anonymous

V try pulling that tampon out of ur ass vv

Comment by Anonymous

Try doing something to earn it.

Posted 2013-05-22T14:27:45+02:00
"Okay class, today we are going to play a game. When I say a fruit, you run to the right side of the court. And when I say a colour, you run to the left side of the court. Got it?" "Got it." "Okay... Ready, set... ORANGE!"

Get a Life(3)
1662
Comment by Anonymous

ready ,set,stfu if u dont like it

Comment by Anonymous

Ready, set...DON'T LAUGH!

Posted 2013-05-22T06:19:35+02:00
The best thing about telepathy is.. I know, right!

Funny(3)
1330
Posted 2013-05-22T06:18:52+02:00
Look, it's not you.... Its DiGiorno

Funny(2)
360
Posted 2013-05-22T06:18:06+02:00
Just ate a whole bag of chips, but it was "reduced fat" so basically it was like going to the gym.

Funny(3)
1453
Comment by Anonymous

vv Teletubbies are gay. So I hope you butt fags like anal vv

Comment by Anonymous

The green Teletubbie has a dildo on its head. So, maybe the OP liked getting worked over by a Teletubbie.

Comment by Anonymous

You just masturbated to the Teletubbies. So basically, it was like child pornography.

Posted 2013-05-22T03:06:17+02:00
I'm in the awkward time period between not wanting to have pants on, and having to wait for the pizza guy right now...

Funny(3)
1530
Posted 2013-05-21T21:46:04+02:00
Regardless of how much time you think you waste, just know that someone created a very detailed Wikipedia page for Grumpy Cat.

Get a Life(2)
16111
Comment by Anonymous

Really? I thought it was fucking her sister...

Posted 2013-05-21T21:35:00+02:00
Mosquitoes: giving you a reason to slap people in the face since the start of mankind.

Get a Life(3)
12110
Posted 2013-05-21T21:21:51+02:00
Didn't wake up in a new Bugatti. Tomorrows a new day though. Never lose faith. Never give up.

Get a Life(2)
6252
Comment by Anonymous

Haha u suck

Comment by Anonymous

I know this shit is old cuz I stole it from here 2 weeks ago. wtf

Posted 2013-05-21T21:20:06+02:00
My Tupperware lids and single socks are chilling somewhere laughing at me. Assholes

Funny(5)
4840
Posted 2013-05-21T21:17:59+02:00
Strength doesn't come from what you can do. It comes from overcoming the things you once thought you couldn't.

Win(3)
1440
Posted 2013-05-21T21:05:08+02:00
Every time you hear a Pitbull song, you lose 2 days off your life expectancy.

Get a Life(2)
872
Comment by Anonymous

Lol did someone really comment saying pitbull "makes" good music?? No he raps over tracks that he steals from other producers.. You're a moron if you find him talented

Comment by Anonymous

PitBull makes good music. You are clearly a classless dipshit

Posted 2013-05-21T20:13:19+02:00
Be more spontaneous, combust.

Funny(3)
1190
Posted 2013-05-21T19:59:22+02:00
I've been waiting to say "Xbox, Show Fantasy" my entire life, but fantasy sports wasn't what I had in mind.

Get a Life(2)
490
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