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Posted 2014-11-25T21:53:44+01:00
First world problems: I couldn't hear the TV so I had to stop eating chips.

-1(0)
Posted 2014-11-25T21:51:31+01:00
"I don't watch TV" proudly says a person who spends 8 hours a day on the internet.

-1(0)
Posted 2014-11-25T04:55:48+01:00
It's time to admit that as a species, we are just not ready for 4-way stops

-1(0)
Comment by Anonymous

But 4 time posts on statusstalker are greeaaatt...

Posted 2014-11-25T04:54:59+01:00
Have you tried insulting each other until the romance comes back?

Epic(1)
Posted 2014-11-25T04:47:16+01:00
You never bring your mouth to a banana. Bring the banana to your mouth.

Win(1)
Comment by Anonymous

yes i have.they were all yummy and juicy

Comment by Anonymous

I bet you have had many bananas dude.

Posted 2014-11-25T04:46:38+01:00
Do people who exercise not know about ice cream and Netflix?

Get a Life(1)
Comment by Anonymous

Tell that to all the dumb fucks who looted and rioted last night due to finding out the definition of truth. HELL YEAH AND FUCK YOU!!

Comment by Anonymous

not the ones who want to live longer than you.

Comment by Anonymous

Yes they do they just make a life choice to not be an overweight out of shape piece of shit.

Posted 2014-11-25T04:43:42+01:00
Some people say I'm narcissistic. Anyway, enough about them.

Epic(1)
Posted 2014-11-25T04:42:40+01:00
Your message was sent, received, seen, ignored, screen captured, sent to friends and ridiculed.

Funny(1)
Posted 2014-11-25T04:41:50+01:00
Love is telling someone to go to hell and worrying about them getting there safely.

Win(1)
Posted 2014-11-25T04:40:20+01:00
Thought I saw my ex walking down the street but she wasn't busy sucking someone else's cock so it probably wasn't her.

Epic(1)
Posted 2014-11-25T04:35:34+01:00
Don't you love being the last one to find out but the first one to not give a fuck

Funny(1)
Posted 2014-11-25T04:35:12+01:00
If God is a woman then how do you explain: 1) Spiders 2) Shoes you can't afford 3) Periods 4) Men

Epic(1)
Posted 2014-11-25T04:22:24+01:00
Super stoked to see the new boulders I assume my upstairs neighbors are rolling around in their apartment.

Win(1)
Posted 2014-11-25T04:21:13+01:00
Internet: you've made a compelling argument. Sleep: present your case.

Get a Life(1)
Posted 2014-11-25T04:21:03+01:00
Everyone wants to have sex, sluts are just successful. That's why we hate them.

Fail(1)
Posted 2014-11-25T04:19:48+01:00
Relationships are an expensive way to watch someone slowly like you less and less.

Get a Life(1)
Posted 2014-11-25T04:17:00+01:00
I have the world's best opinions.

Win(1)
Posted 2014-11-25T03:28:41+01:00
Remember, every six cats equals one boyfriend.

Epic(1)
Comment by Anonymous

Or "Six cats guarantee no boyfriend."

Posted 2014-11-24T23:34:23+01:00
You're not important enough to have haters. You just have a few people who notice you're an asshole.

Funny(1)
Posted 2014-11-24T23:33:04+01:00
If I were Noah, I'd be like, fuck the earth I'm gonna keep this boat full of animals and pet them forever.

Epic(1)

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