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Posted 2016-11-01T21:05:24-06:00
I don't even like sleep, it's just the only way I can eat spiders

Get a Life(3)
81211
Comment by Anonymous

I don't believe it, John aldinger is impotent and could not have fucked anyone.

Comment by Anonymous

I don't believe it, John aldinger is impotent and could not have fucked anyone.

Comment by Anonymous

My safe place is fucking your sister. So now we've both fucked her.

Comment by Anonymous

I heard you like it that way John you pervert.

Comment by Anonymous

My name is John Aldinger and I'm not wearing pants

Comment by Anonymous

Leave Bulger alone. He is a sick old man.

Comment by Anonymous

If only someone could make this page great again.

Comment by Anonymous

The reason is I like to annoy you. So get the fuck back to your safe place snowflake.

Comment by Anonymous

And here's another asshole taking any post they can and turning it into a political one for no reason at all ...

Comment by Anonymous

That is why you democrats lost, too much sleeping and eating spiders esp on election day. And what's up with all of you racists threatening to leave the country? Not one said they would leave to go to Mexico.

Posted 2016-11-01T20:52:34-06:00
HOW COULD TAG TEAM HAVE BEEN 'BACK AGAIN', WHEN WHOOMP WAS THEIR ONLY SONG?!

Get a Life(2)
Comment by Anonymous

In what world is this even a little funny??

Comment by Anonymous

It's 2016, how could you not find the caps lock?

Posted 2016-11-01T20:49:01-06:00
When I go into a bar I shout out "YOU CHEATING WHORE!" Whoever turns around is who I'm buying drinks for.

Epic(2)
Comment by Anonymous

Good, you stupid little bitch

Comment by Anonymous

My mom is dead you asshole.

Comment by Anonymous

I like your mom - close enough...

Comment by Anonymous

Hope you like STDs

Posted 2016-11-01T20:47:33-06:00
Astrophysicists still struggling to explain the Big Bang Theory: "It's a corny show! We just don't get it!" said one astrophysicist.

Get a Life(1)
Posted 2016-11-01T20:44:47-06:00
It's a good thing this video game is rated mature because it's going to be babysitting the kids tonight.

Epic(1)
Posted 2016-11-01T20:43:16-06:00
If you really can make $10,000 a month working from home why would anyone take the harder job of nailing those signs to trees?

Funny(1)
Posted 2016-11-01T20:42:46-06:00
Monk: *writing bible* lord, the end is signaled by trumpets? God: I said Trump Pence Monk: Right. Trumpets. God: Fine. They'll get it.

Fail(3)
Posted 2016-11-01T20:42:12-06:00
Hi and welcome to Procrastination Club. Ok, let's get this meeting rescheduled.

Get a Life(1)
Posted 2016-11-01T20:39:39-06:00
I hate people who take drugs. Like customs officers.

Get a Life(1)
Posted 2016-11-01T20:30:10-06:00
So You Think You Can Get Out Of Bed

Fail(2)
Posted 2016-11-01T20:29:52-06:00
Sure are a lot of sidewalk chalk penises at this child's birthday party, but it's the only thing I know how to draw.

Get a Life(1)
Posted 2016-11-01T20:22:46-06:00
I think I've wasted enough time on the Internet for the night, I'll be back in 10 minutes

Funny(1)
Posted 2016-11-01T20:17:59-06:00
[crying so hard I can't catch my breath] I should have put cheese puffys directly on my ham sandwich

Fail(3)
Posted 2016-11-01T20:16:10-06:00
It was the best of times, it was the Trump might be our next President of times...

Fail(5)
Comment by Anonymous

Get over it pansy.

Comment by Anonymous

Are your asses still raw from last week's Trump win?

Comment by Anonymous

Are You Suffering From 'TARD'? Trump Acceptance Resistance Disorder (TARD) is a pattern of pathologically dissociative and psychotic behavior, first observed in the late hours of November 8th 2016, and increasing in severity with passing time. Sufferers of TARD often exhibit pronounced cognitive dissonance, sudden bouts of rage, uncontrollable crying, suicidal ideation, and extreme sadness. People with TARD are characterized by a persistent unwillingness to accept that Donald Trump is going to Make America Great Again. Individual sufferers often display signs of paranoia and delusion; in acute cases psychotic episodes have been observed. TARD is different from being upset about the results of the 2016 presidential election; People with TARD are unwilling or unable to accept reality, despite irrefutable evidence. According to the DSM-V, individuals with TARD exhibit most or all of the following symptoms: - Telling others they are moving to Canada - Fixated on fantasies about the Electoral College - Protesting an election no credible source contests the outcome of - Exclamations that “Someone” should do “Something” - Acute change in demeanor from pompous and arrogant to fearful and combative - Claim that anyone who disagrees with them is some combination of Racist, Sexist, Bigoted, Homophobic, and actually some sort of Hitler persona Causes and Mechanisms: TARD was directly caused by the election of Donald Trump as President of the United States of America. For many, both in America and worldwide, this was a shocking and unexpected outcome; their preferred news sources having failed to inform them that the alternative candidate was a criminal parasite in such ill health she got chucked into the back of a van like a kidnap victim. Diagnosis: Diagnosis of TARD is straightforward. Ask the patient if Donald Trump is going to be the Next President of the United States of America. Some patients will become agitated, and may attempt to deflect. It’s critical you press them on the issue, even if they start babbling about ‘muh triggers’. A sufferer of TARD will begin to ramble incoherently, often displaying three or more of the symptoms within a short period of time. Treatment: The only known effective treatment is exposure therapy. The patient must be repeatedly exposed to reality, and should wear a Make America Great Again hat as long as they are able to tolerate it. Each exposure should increase in length, after a week the patient should be encouraged to be seen in public wearing the MAGA hat. Coach the patient to refer to Donald Trump as President-Elect Trump. Patients with TARD are very resistant to treatment, and dangerous in large groups. Any possibility of treatment requires that they be separated from their hive-mind support apparatus; they cannot begin the process of accepting reality in the presence of encouragement towards delusion and irrationality. Separation may require the assistance of law enforcement. If you have a friend or loved one suffering from TARD, urge them to seek treatment. Together we can beat this scourge, and Make America Great Again!

Comment by Anonymous

No one gives a fuck about protests made by a bunch of college drop outs. Do whatever the fuck you want until your pussies fall off. Trump is still President and probably will be for the 8 years and there isn't a fucking thing you can do about it. So keep taking it in the ass. This is so beautiful!! LOL

Comment by Anonymous

Donald Trump was elected President of the United States for the next 8 years!

Comment by Anonymous

V hope she kills your family next.

Comment by Anonymous

Trump is garbage. Hillary is what this country needs. So she's killed a few people, so did the Kennedys and they were great. Get off your high horses

Comment by Anonymous

If you elect Hillary and she ends up getting impeached you will get (......wait for it.............) Tim Kaine.

Comment by Anonymous

Hillary is shit right now. She screwed herself all the way to the point where Trump is the perfect fit for the Presidency.

Comment by Anonymous

I went to his rally, he was great!

Comment by Anonymous

True but hillary is human shit with aids.

Comment by Anonymous

He's human shit.

Comment by Anonymous

He's going to make such an awesome President! So thankful to see a cool site like this support the Don!! Kudos, StatusStalker!

Posted 2016-11-01T20:08:53-06:00
Damn boy, are you glitter? Because I used you once 3 years ago and you've been all over me ever since.

Get a Life(1)
Posted 2016-11-01T20:07:24-06:00
I wonder what "don't touch" is in Braille.

Get a Life(1)
Posted 2016-11-01T20:06:01-06:00
They should make halloween albums like they do for Christmas. I'd love to hear a Michael Bublé version of Monster Mash.

Funny(1)
Comment by Anonymous

It would sound just as gay as his xmas album

Posted 2016-11-01T20:04:58-06:00
[handing out condoms to trick or treaters] give these to your parents, I don't want more of you coming back next year

Funny(1)
Posted 2016-11-01T19:57:59-06:00
It's a good thing my fannypack can also be used as a flotation device cause I be drowning in hotties every time I wear it

Get a Life(1)
Comment by Anonymous

Shallow Hal wants a gal. There fixed that for you.

Posted 2016-10-27T13:47:07-06:00
Last night I had a dream that I was a muffler. I woke up exhausted.

Fail(0)
Comment by Anonymous

Lol I'm using this

Comment by Anonymous

Maybe you are a night Walker.


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