Status Stalker – Funny Facebook Status Updates

Posted by Suthernfukr 2012-02-22T06:29:20-08:00

They say the more you drink the higher your tolerance is, but that's bullshit because my friend's an alcoholic & he still hates gays.

Funny(3)

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Comment by Anonymous

why do they let this stupid fucker keep posting on this site?? i can stand idiotic if it's funny... but this?? bummer statusstalker.... there must be a lot more submissions to pull from without using this same lame ass over and over

Comment by Anonymous

Your friend hates you, Suthernfukr!?! What kind of friend is that?

Comment by Anonymous

hahahaha

Comment by Anonymous

Hahahahaha

Posted by Suthernfukr 2012-02-22T06:25:57-08:00

Shit old people Google: 1. Dubstep 2. Skrillrex 3. Hashtag 4. DTF 5. Steampunk 6. Pinterest 7. Linsanity 8. Scarlett Johansson naked

Funny(3)

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Comment by Anonymous

pinterest?? really?? are we 13 year old girls now??

Comment by Anonymous

Pit down the crack pipe, Suthernfukr, and step away from the keyboard!

Comment by Anonymous

Wow suthernfukr, your statuses really suck. Hey that rhymed

Comment by Anonymous

Fail

Comment by Anonymous

Fail

Posted by Suthernfukr 2012-02-22T06:23:28-08:00

What's that thing that's like Photoshop except way easier to use and it's for real life? Oh yeah, vodka.

Funny(3)

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Posted 2012-02-22T05:49:55-08:00

Im not stalking you......FYI your almost out of milk...

Epic(1)

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Comment by Anonymous

YOU'RE

Posted by Apostle 2012-02-22T04:43:02-08:00

I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do.

Funny(1)

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Posted 2012-02-21T16:17:37-08:00

Facebook is like a nude beach. Everybody lets everything hang out, a lot of which you really don't want to see.

Funny(4)

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Posted by Suthernfukr 2012-02-21T12:48:20-08:00

Why do they keep records of people who died due to alcohol, but not the records of people who were born thanks to it?

Get a Life(5)

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Comment by Anonymous

To the 3rd commentor: We're sorry! We didn't know Sutherfukr's Significant Other was here defending him!

Comment by Anonymous

Oh stop... suthernfukr is just tryin to update his family tree and you guys are too busy joking around to appreciate his efforts.

Comment by Anonymous

You two below should totally date...you both have a really stupid & immature sense of humor. Perfect together. Congrats.

Comment by Anonymous

Lmao*comment below

Comment by Anonymous

I hope ur not talking because of personal experience..

Posted by Suthernfukr 2012-02-21T12:48:03-08:00

When people ask me for advice, I tell them, "Use your best judgment," which they clearly don't have if they are asking me for advice.

Funny(4)

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Posted 2012-02-21T10:36:32-08:00

When hiking this summer, please be careful of rattlesnakes and never utter the phrase hissy wissy fakey snakey. That'll get em biting!

Fail(3)

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Comment by Anonymous

Then in that case, for the sake of humanity i hope you come across a pit of deadly rattlesnakes and utter those exact words

Posted by Suthernfukr 2012-02-21T09:17:40-08:00

I'm getting physical therapy for my back. I bet Spider-Man never has to get physical therapy for his back. I hate not being Spider-Man. :(

Get a Life(7)

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Comment by Anonymous

Probably written by a white person..

Comment by Anonymous

i can't believe it's 2012 and somebody still thinks the word nigger is offensive... you gadda come up with a better insult than that nowadays ya retarded cousin fucker

Comment by Anonymous

i hate reading statuses written by dumb ass niggers.

Comment by Anonymous

lmfao @ "combo breaker" i was wondering how long that shit was gonna go on...

Comment by Anonymous

Really folks??

Comment by Anonymous

Dee Dee Deeee!!!

Comment by Anonymous

C-c-c-c-COMBO BREAKER!!!!

Comment by Anonymous

Even more more lamer comment below -_______-